Meghan and Harry. Has anyone changed their opinion post Oprah?

My DiL is Canadian but ethnically Chinese. Once I made the comment that black people have a great sense of rhythm. I meant it in a complimentary way. She told me it was a racist remark. Racial stereotyping, yes, but racist? Doesn't the definition of racism specify the intent to convey something negative?
Dil comes from a smooth skinned race. She calls my son her "hairy Englishman". Is that racist?
As I get older I'm finding it harder to grasp the nuances. Advice, anyone?

I think somehow that makes it worse.

Sorry that was in response to lemsip.

I was a racist yesterday, a man delivered my electric wheelchair and we chatted , he spoke of the speed etc of the chair and said‘it’s needed on your mountains’ , so it went on,
he said ‘I am from X’ - an English county, I said ‘oh I am sorry’
he replied ‘but I have a Welsh name Gareth’, my reply - ‘your part Welsh, have a cup of tea’.

Ellianne “ GrannyRose is right to say it can be said because you care and because you want that person to think hard before embarking on a decision of a lifetime.”

I’m sorry ellianne I absolutely cannot agree. It is typical of what was said so long ago and should not even be an issue now,

Just to return to the title of this thread for a moment

Lucca

Just to return to the title of this thread for a moment

That's silly! (Not you Lucca). Why doesn't the picture get reproduced when you select quote?
It makes the post a bit meaningless.

Nell8 I’m gobsmacked that you would say such a thing about black people having a sense of rhythm, really I am. Anyway, let’s use it as a teaching moment; here’s my view.
You are presumably basing this on your observation of people of colour in bands, or images of people dancing? But you don’t know every black person in the world, so you don’t know if they all have a sense of rhythm, you are allocating characteristics based solely on skin colour. In any case, the description harps back to the days when Europeans could look at people from other races and reduce them to racial stereotypes, and by lumping them all together you are implicitly ignoring anything else about them.
Presumably, your son in English and is hairy compared to his wife and her family? Then he is her hairy Englishman. She has not said every Englishman is hairy. Maybe if she does in the future you could point out the error of her ways?

I still think that a comment/question can be racist in content whilst not making the person who said it/asked it a racist per se in their thoughts and actions.

So knowing the potential reality of what might be experienced by a mixed race royal child and raising the fact that that might be something that a child would face does not automatically make the person a racist in their thoughts and actions, it makes them a realist who is aware of the realities of racism in a society.

We dont know the context of the conversation referred to in the interview and therefore don't know the relevance of the above to the conversation. I am just using it as an example to differentiate between content being racist and a person being racist per se. Hope that makes sense!

Ellianne

That's silly! (Not you Lucca). Why doesn't the picture get reproduced when you select quote?
It makes the post a bit meaningless.

Why is it silly ?? It’s a joke FGS

Ellianne

Alegrias Spanish, mixed race, bisexual, whatever it is really doesn't matter and is certainly not always based on prejudices.
Try swinging it round to understand that the person who mentioned the baby's skin tone to Harry might actually have been very concerned about Harry himself. Maybe they have witnessed the struggles within him, maybe they have seen how he doesn't cope well. Maybe they just didn't want him to add to this.

Try swinging it around to understand that whoever said whatever was said to Harry still thinks that people should make their choices based on what other people think of them and their children.

Try swinging it around to have the person discuss with Harry and Meghan that there are people in the world who are prejudiced and won't accept their choices in life. Try having that person say to them "but they are misguided and we'll face it all together".

Try swinging it around to place the blame for this problem on people who are still living in the past and think skin colour is an issue.

No, No, No Lucca. The picture itself is funny I agree!!

What IS silly is that GN doesn't reproduce the image on here!

Doesn't this just go to show how people misconstrued a comment and read into it the wrong message?

Just popped back.
I ❤️ your joke Lucca - I’m going to borrow it & share today it’s so funny! Is it on our cartoon thread? If not you might want to put it on.
??

Urmstongran

Just popped back.
I ❤️ your joke Lucca - I’m going to borrow it & share today it’s so funny! Is it on our cartoon thread? If not you might want to put it on.
??

Yes, just don't try reproducing it with the "Quote" button or you'll get yourself in all sorts of trouble *Urmstongran."

Nell8 I’m gobsmacked that you would say such a thing about black people having a sense of rhythm, really I am.

What about saying the Welsh are great singers?

sorry first part should have been in italics

seacliff

Nell8 I’m gobsmacked that you would say such a thing about black people having a sense of rhythm, really I am.

What about saying the Welsh are great singers?

Are you serious?

Alegrias1 Thank you for your advice. You've given me plenty to consider. I will try harder! And when DiL launches into her mimicry of my Scottish family's broad accents when they visit .. she's for it!

NP Nell8. Personally, I'd tell her how objectionable it might be to poke fun at the way people speak and remind her that there are many different Scots accents

Excellent post OnwardandUpward yesterday about suggestion and succinctly sums up what the interview was based on and intended to do.

In defence of Welsh singers , they do produce, have a lovely tone , when singing in a choir.
They are great singers, but so are other groups of people.
Is it a fact that they do ? , or is it just mine & other people’s Opinion
The point being, Who decides? Who has a right to decide, should anyone decide?

Ellianne

No, No, No Lucca. The picture itself is funny I agree!!

What IS silly is that GN doesn't reproduce the image on here!

Doesn't this just go to show how people misconstrued a comment and read into it the wrong message?

Doesn't this just go to show how people misconstrued a comment and read into it the wrong message?

Absolutely Ellianne! I 'got' your post immediately. I abandoned a post once because quote doesn't include the image. Lucca has totally misinterpreted your post.

The worst interview I've ever seen! Could it be called an interview at all? It was vague and unclear to me on how, what, where, who, when. Opra's "What" expressed regarding the skin colour of the child was so very, very fake to me every time I watched it. I really feel so sorry for Harry. I've always had a soft spot for him since I saw him at his mum's funeral but am annoyed with him at the same time for taking part and bringing possible family dirty laundry into the world's attention. Most of us have family problems but choose not to share them with every one we know because we don't see it as a sensible thing to do. I wouldn't take sides between Harry and Megan on one side and the rest of royal family on the other because I wasn't there and wouldn't want to be manipulated like that by the media who'd love to feed on it. I wonder if Megan has had any therapy for her claimed suicidal thoughts and her mental health after leaving the royal house or was she cured after leaving that house! I liked Megan and happy for the couple until this interview. Hope they'll find a healthy way to live their lives and not this way. I'm Asian and have never been a royalist or a republican because it's the content of a system that matters and not its name. I've had my share of racism in the UK but refuse to allow the issue of race to cloud my judgement on everything else.

Before I married I knew that my future husband’s job would take him abroad for long periods and that settling into our newly bought home would be down to me. In fact he went away the day after we came back from our honeymoon, Before the wedding my family raised the question of how I would cope with moving to the other end of the country, where I had no friends and would be alone for long periods. We discussed the implications with no rancour and I knew that it was only raised out of concern.

Whereas I am not for a minute suggesting that this compares to the conversations that Harry had with X or Xs, is it not conceivable that the same thing happened within the royal family? My family were not saying that they were opposed to the wedding, but pointing out the practicalities.

Could it be that a member of the royal family was pointing out that some unwelcome comments might be made in the press, social media etc and that Harry should be prepared?

I must admit that the only speculation I have heard before or since Archie was born, was whether he has his father’s hair! That is until the Sussexes raised the matter.

I was delighted with the Sussexes when they married, now........not so much.