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Unacceptable

(62 Posts)
greeneyes57 Tue 09-Mar-21 21:50:47

Every Monday I get my GS from school, from my place it takes me between 30 and 40 minutes. Last Monday I arrived at the school and wait for GS to meet me at the gate. After 20 minutes of waiting and GS not here , I called my Daughter, as soon as she answered she said " Mum are you at the school, I said yes its Monday. She said " we have gone away for the weekend and GS is not a school today, sorry ;we forgot to tell you. I find that very inconsiderate that no one thought of telling me. Your thoughts please.

2old4this Wed 10-Mar-21 11:38:56

I thought we were not allowed ‘to go away’ ie travel we are still under restrictions.

Nannan2 Wed 10-Mar-21 11:37:24

Here in blighty we get fined for holidays in term time.?

Nannan2 Wed 10-Mar-21 11:35:21

They may not be in covid restrictions but its still blagging school when the other kids were clearly IN school.?Or does Australia not mind about that?

donna1964 Wed 10-Mar-21 11:33:15

LisaP

When I collect my GrandDaughter from school (She is 7) and I bring her home to my house - even though we have arranged it previously I will get a message that day 'Dont forget....'
Then I get another message later on 'You're doing the school run right?'
Then I will get another message 'Are you on your way to the school?'
Then another message 'Let me know when you have her'. The another one.. 'Let me know when you get home' - then finally 'Are you home' Phew - talk about overkill
Oh but then it all starts again when I am due to take her home....
grin

After all the messaging do they send you a Thankyou message?

Madgran77 Wed 10-Mar-21 11:28:17

I agree! Not worth a big row. Just say it was rather annoying and a bit worrying as you had no idea why grandchild had not come out of school. I imagine your daughter feels bad. In her circumstances, I would be buying you flowers and saying the above to you before you said it to her!

LuckyFour Wed 10-Mar-21 11:22:35

My DH forgot to collect our daughter from Brownies one evening in Winter. She started walking home in the dark on a quiet country lane, poor thing. When he arrived home we had words and obviously he went straight there. No harm done but we often remind him!!

Applegran Wed 10-Mar-21 11:20:56

I understand how frustrating and worrying this was for you. But as a single mistake I agree with others, it will be far better to let it go. We all make mistakes - and I think her words "You are at the school!" were probably her painful realisation that she had forgotten. Look at other threads about families falling out - it isn't worth risking bad feeling, or worse, over one oversight, however upsetting it was at the time. Forgiveness and understanding will lead to a better relationship and I think you will be glad if you didn't make this into a matter of blame. Of course its ok to say in a calm and courteous way that it worried you and you'd be glad if it didn't happen again, while understanding that people do sometimes forget.

Nanette1955 Wed 10-Mar-21 11:10:58

Appalling lack of thought, I do hope you made your feelings known, especially to your daughter who will feel it more and so hopefully ensure it never happens again.

MagicWand Wed 10-Mar-21 11:02:08

You are not being unreasonable green eyes! I have also had this happen to me in that my son had forgotten to tell us that he had a day off work so we didn’t need to look after his daughter on our usual day. We only found out about this after driving to our usual pick up place for 8.30 in the morning which necessitates an hour & half round trip!

It was a genuine mistake and their childcare arrangements were suitably complicated that it was a genuine oversight. It has never happened again!

So yes, while hugely annoying I wouldn’t take it personally, perhaps a phone call or text the day before picking up might be a good idea as there can be lots of reasons for a child’s non attendance at school e.g. illness and staff training days.

GoldenAge Wed 10-Mar-21 11:00:47

greeneyes57 - you're both to blame for this - it takes two minutes, less if you text, just before you leave to pick your GS up to check that he's actually at school (not been sent home because of sickness or the school closed early for whatever) , and likewise that's how long it would take your daughter to check in with you that you're OK to collect him (car not broken down or you not feeling well). It's all about communication between you and your daughter - you need to agree that you always touch base before you leave for him. Personally, I would have been annoyed if I'd done the journey whether it took 5 or 50 minutes only to find that your daughter had been away for the weekend and not come home. Why didn't she just tell you at any point over the weekend that they were away? A bit selfish if you ask me - it could have been done by a few words on a text. I suggest you improve your communication.

Aepgirl Wed 10-Mar-21 10:59:30

Was it half-term? Surely your daughter should have told you they were going away.

NemosMum Wed 10-Mar-21 10:57:59

A bit annoying, but not a big deal. These things happen. If it is part of a pattern, you need to get them to confirm on the day. Forgive and move on.

jaylucy Wed 10-Mar-21 10:51:55

Flippin annoying and careless of your daughter!
I suppose it depends if it was a planned break or as Aussies do, just a "let's go to so and so" and taking a chance on finding accommodation!
Hope she thinks ahead in future!

Riggie Wed 10-Mar-21 10:44:38

Yes its annoying, but assuming it's a one off then move on.

LisaP Wed 10-Mar-21 10:40:03

When I collect my GrandDaughter from school (She is 7) and I bring her home to my house - even though we have arranged it previously I will get a message that day 'Dont forget....'
Then I get another message later on 'You're doing the school run right?'
Then I will get another message 'Are you on your way to the school?'
Then another message 'Let me know when you have her'. The another one.. 'Let me know when you get home' - then finally 'Are you home' Phew - talk about overkill
Oh but then it all starts again when I am due to take her home....
grin

timetogo2016 Wed 10-Mar-21 10:26:55

I agree,it`s a one off.
I bet they won`t forget again.

eazybee Wed 10-Mar-21 10:24:25

No, it was serious.
I would have gone into school and asked staff, and as has happened in the past , like you Boz, we would all be chasing round the school and neighbourhood looking for the child. (parent was unobtainable , before common use of mobile phones.) Mother forgot to make instructions clear to child.

maydonoz Wed 10-Mar-21 10:08:39

Green eyes I sympathise with you for your wasted journey and I would certainly be annoyed if it happened to me.
However in the big picture, you will soon forget about it and treat it as an oversight.
I hope your DD gets flowers or similar for you on Mother's Day. Best wishes to you, I'm sure you'll continue helping with the DGC in the selfless way that we Grans do.

Boz Wed 10-Mar-21 10:07:53

I had that experience once. Granddaughter had gone out of a different schoolgate to have tea with a friend. No one told me and I spent an hour in panic and dismay - literally running round the school - in an effort to find her. Felt quite ill.

Doodledog Wed 10-Mar-21 10:07:50

Oldwoman70

I am suspicious that her first words were "are you at the school" However, I don't think it is worth falling out over - perhaps for the next couple of weeks you could phone on Sunday and ask if GS will be in school on Monday (just to make a point!)

Really? I see that as the penny dropping when she heard her mother's voice.

I agree with others that if it's not part of a pattern it's best forgotten - anyone can make a mistake.

wildswan16 Wed 10-Mar-21 10:04:21

It was a mistake - she forgot. Annoying, but not something that I would dwell on, unless she makes a habit of it.

I'm sure we have all done something similar at some time or other.

Jane43 Wed 10-Mar-21 09:54:44

I always collected three of my grandchildren from school once a week on a Wednesday until they left primary school and helped out as needed in the holidays. My son always used to check if it was OK by me the evening before as he was the one who used to take them to and from school. He has always been very thoughtful and checks at least once a week that we are both OK. Our other son is not quite as thoughtful but he doesn’t have any children, however his lovely wife is extremely thoughtful. Our oldest granddaughter, 22, is thoughtful like her father and often texts to see if we are both OK.

Gingster Wed 10-Mar-21 09:38:24

I’m sure it was just a slip-up but I would have been very annoyed. Sometimes we are the last to be thought of by our AC. Good old mum always there and reliable.

My Two sons are extremely thoughtful but daughter not so. She’s the one I’ve always gone to the enth degree for but I’m the last one she thinks about.

Mollygo Wed 10-Mar-21 09:34:21

I’d be very annoyed too, it’s a long way to have a wasted drive, but unless she’s generally scatterbrained, I bet she won’t forget again.

M0nica Wed 10-Mar-21 09:30:10

I would be fuming. For it not to occur to your daughter to let you know well in advance is shocking. I do not accept any of these excuses about being busy/slipping her mind etc. Did she inform the school.

Even if it was a real slip up, I would be expecting grovelling apologies and flowers to show how sorry they are.