Should young people stop moaning and get on with it or should we be concerned.

I am so grateful that no one in my family has had a baby during this last year due to the restrictions described in the article. It must be heartbreaking for new mothers.
What I take from the article is the information that help is available. Telling a person with fragile mental health to ‘man up’ is just cruel.

It tough for the young this year, it’s tough for many of us, students and college leavers have had a lot of disruption, some have “manned up” others just complain. My eldest GD is on a work placement year from Uni, there are no placements in the UK and was very despondent, but she found an internship with a US firm.

No pay of course but working from home she is doing work for actual clients and her confidence is sky high and plans to visit New York to see her work in August. I’m sure when she returns to Uni it will be a big boost to her degree.

Well perception is reality if this lady feels like this then she needs support and she is definitely not alone in her distress at the things that have had to change during the pandemic. A member of our family has had a complete breakdown brought on by the stress of having to fulfil an impossible role working from home. some people have coped with it well sadly he hasn't.

I would have hated this.

I feel deeply sorry for women going through their pregnancy "alone".
I also feel sorry for all the new mums - and mums with toddlers too - who are so very isolated (especially if they recently stopped working)...
Such a mess.

OK to do a pre-natal appointment with a midwife alone but all the rest....no!

They are grieving for the lie they planned to be leading. This has effected many of us in many different ways during the Lockdown.

Just to reply by saying that much of it was the 'norm' when we were young is not very helpful. It was also the 'norm' in our g.parents time for a lot of women to die with post-partum haemorrage, and other complications following birth - we were of a generation that did not have to worry about that.

Yes, they have missed out on so much of the enjoyment of a planned pregnancy and those first few months with their new babe - it may just be a 'first world problem', but is still effecting them.

Just hope that will soon be able to go to parent and baby classes, and meet other new Mums and Dads and enjoy their lovely healthy baby as she grows up.

It is all very well to talk about OUR unhappiness at some of the effects of Lockdown, etc. not being as serious as other peoples - does not make it any easier for us to deal with those.

I think each person has their own levels I m just glad she wasn’t me First baby foreign country no language skills, away from all family, 20 years old, Breech birth, no one allowed with me, no personal understanding, no support other than doctors, nurses
She obviously needs more support and understanding than we did but maybe that’s our fault for doing, thinking, caring to give more than we had

There will be many people who have struggled with pregnancy/ birth during the pandemic and there will be many who have just got one with things. You can’t judge a whole generation on one story. But the necessary support wasn’t there for many and that’s not ok. I gave birth ten years ago and my OH came to two evening appointments, one was a look around the hospital. He wasn’t in on the birth either but was at the hospital. There’s been a lot of people who have suffered because the necessary support or treatment wasn’t available because of Covid, sadly.

On with it

Well, I think it’s obviously not an ideal situation, I know several women who have had lockdown babies, and lots of compromises have had to be made, and of course it’s a shame that they can’t see their families and friends.

I partly understand, because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and I’d be irritated that so much was out of my control. But I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t have caused me to have mental health problems, we live in very unusual times, we just have to get in with it.

I'm with annsixty here.

This was a subject raised on our tv regional news recently.

As grandmajet said, back in the 70’s, when many of us had our children, it was unheard of for husbands or partners to attend ante natal appointments, at least it was where I lived. My husband would not have wanted to ask for time off work, and frankly I never expected him to.

I also gave birth alone, (in hospital, with midwife),not that he didn’t want to be there, but both babies arrived in a bit of a hurry, and he was at work, blissfully unaware of events.

When he came to visit, as soon as he heard, Sister was reluctant to let him in as Visiting Hour had finished,but she graciously allowed him in for a few minutes to meet his new daughter. But if she hadn’t, we would just have accepted it. Wouldn’t have dared to question anything. I was only 21.

I know times have changed.

I feel in this case the answer lies in her own words “ I am a perfectionist”
She had her own idea of just how it was going to be, she had every detail planned and then it didn’t happen.
The saying, man plans, God laughs, comes to mind.
We need resilience to deal with things when our lives veer off course.
I wish her and others well though.

This is a difficult one. Many of the issues she raised, like having to attend appointments alone, were the norm not so long ago. My husband didn’t come to routine appointments, scans etc as it really wasn’t done for partners to get time off work for such things. I believe that even during lockdown partners could be there for the actual birth.
The first weeks and months at home is when other new parents, as well as family, can provide great friendship and support so I can see how this is lost in a pandemic.
Very many new parents do struggle and it must have been hard to feel there was no one to turn to. I wonder if, in modern society, young people tend to plan their lives in minute detail, and babies just do not read the agenda, nor do post partum feelings fall into a previously known category.
In other words, having a baby is the most change you can ever have in your life and it can be hard to cope with.
I don’t think labelling a new Mum a snowflake helps when she feels despairing.