Proposed vigil for Sarah Everard, your views?

I’m sure everyone going to lay flowers etc is upset and shocked by what happened but I bet a lot of them will be posting their attendance on Instagram etc because caring is not enough - you have to show everyone else how empathetic you are.

Most would want to see practical solutions to reduce the risk for other women. I’ve seen a small but practical option from one of the hotels in Cardiff today, I think if all hotels offered this it would help women in cities who are being followed or are concerned about their safety.

I believe it was right not to have the vigil at this time. We are still in lockdown and it is against the law. The Judge was right to support the Met on this. Why should some people consider themselves above the law?

Petrol station flowers -how unbelievably elitist and unkind

JenniferEccles

I agree tidyskatemum
Of course what happened to the poor girl was dreadful, we all know that, but I feel very uneasy about the current trend for people who didn’t know her to make a point of going to the place where she disappeared purely to stand at the site and weep.

What’s behind it all?
It never used to happen.

A lot of things never used to happen - marital rape never used to be a crime, men beating their wives never seemed to be anything than what she deserved, women never used to have maternity leave. I am lucky enough to have lots of wonderful young women in my life - they are bright, fun, loving and caring with jobs, children and have still had time to have looked after me and others during the pandemic and to care about the environment , the local area and the wider world of others including the death of a young women they’ve never met but who is part of that world. There’s much they want to put right but they have hearts in the right place and look to a better world that they hope to help shape rather than just grumble on social media

It’s not just enough to feel sad and shocked at a murder- we have to go out and be SEEN to be upset.

It started with the growing habit to leave petrol station flowers at the scene of fatal road crashes and it’s escalated from there into large public displays of grief.

Does it help the bereaved families?
I’m sure it does not.

many of those people leaving flowers, wanting a vigil, may be friends of friends of Sarah.
that is the essence of networking, with facebook groups etc.
it was evidenced on MN during that first week, when people were still appealing for information.
they felt personally involved, some actually were.
they may have met/ passed her in the park, at the station, at a party etc.
it could have been any of them. they realise this, and in grief for her, they want to protest about wider societal structures that allow continuing sexism, harassment.
this crime is the extreme and rare and horrific end of a very prevalent wedge.
as for those who say their men would never behave badly, do they actually challenge hearing /seeing other men demean women.
it is so widespread. and education needs to start early. from about age 5 i think.
that is why the baroness called for a curfew on men; because women are fed up of having to operate under a curfew.
what if men out at night were made to explain themselves, where are they going, why do they need to, shouldn't they be inside, get a taxi etc.

The vigil will now be at 9.30 this evening. The proposal is to put a light on your doorstep. I’ll do that to show solidarity.

Polarbear2 and tidyskatemum absolutely agree with your comments. This is a tragedy, but a ‘vigil’ is unlikely to achieve anything, other than a rather unhealthy indulgence in certain people. I can’t imagine the turmoil poor Sarah’s family are going through.

Agree with you Welbeck. A lot of women can identify with Sarah.

I agree tidyskatemum
Of course what happened to the poor girl was dreadful, we all know that, but I feel very uneasy about the current trend for people who didn’t know her to make a point of going to the place where she disappeared purely to stand at the site and weep.

What’s behind it all?
It never used to happen.

The vigil might have been cancelled but photos on the internet are showing hundreds of people turning up at the bandstand with flowers, lots of them hugging and crying all over each other. Don’t tell me they are all that poor girl’s friends. I fear it is turning into grief as entertainment, as seems to happen far too often.

Welbeck, you expressed it well. A 33 year old I’ve known throughout her life fits that demographic. She’s phoned mum 200 miles away to say she’s ftightened

i think one of the reasons this crime has attracted so much publicity is because of what is called the demographic.
that area is full of young/ish women, mostly white middle-class, and often working in media/PR/communications etc.
they identify with the lifestyle of this victim.
they often themselves walk/exercise on Clapham Common.
and in conjunction with other movements recently, eg MeToo, BLM, there is a feeling that those who have had to fit in, to survive, get home safely from work, have lost patience.
i am not able to express what i mean properly.

It’s interesting to note that a vigil being organised by women to mark the murder of a young woman was banned by police under the Covid laws and guidance. A Judge heard the challenge from the organisers, concluded in support of the ban. The organisers cancelled the vigil.
All absolutely right, from the desire to hold the vigil, to its cancellation. It’s impossible not to compare the gender issues here- that is the football crowds who consumed alcohol and ignored Covid regs. The women who rightly want a vigil but accept the law.

I feel for Cressida Dick and others in the Met making this correct decision when one of their officers is charged with murder

I think I posted earlier that I can’t imagine having to have the death of and grief for s beloved child being so public. If something good came out of this it would surely be some comfort for them

suziewoozie hope is definitely needed at the moment.

I just cannot imagine what that poor family are feeling at the moment.

GrannyGravy13

^some women^ have been to pay their respects, including the Duchess of Cambridge, no fuss, just quiet and reflective.

Yes I saw that - it’s a good alternative to a vigil and can be kept within the law. I don’t think of any of this as a futile gesture. I want to have some hope

some women have been to pay their respects, including the Duchess of Cambridge, no fuss, just quiet and reflective.

MaizieD

It's been cancelled.

Saw it on twitter earlier this morning

They had no option. However listening to the radio this morning, some women ‘ maybe going for a walk on Clapham Common this evening about 6pm’. Others are suggesting doorsteps at 6pm or lighting a candle.

It's been cancelled.

Saw it on twitter earlier this morning

No large meetings of any kind and we obey this if we are to get on top of this virus.
If football fans male or female are selfish enough to gether they should be punished and made an example of. Though what a task how would you do it. Grab a few stragglers at the back and fine them. At the price they pay for a ticket they would not care.
Look what happens in Myanmair or HongKong when peaceful protests are broken up by Police who are under pressure.
Wait untill it is legal then make it very big and within the law so we acn not be accused of being hysterical women. Which has happened in a subtle way all week impling that this is not a common inccident. Not common but one too many.

Good sentiment, wrong time although I entirely understand the impulse.

I've been looking at the whiteribbon.org,uk charity and am beginning to fundraise for them, specifically in response to Sarah Everard's death.

This murder is a tragedy. The family and friends are experiencing unimaginable suffering. Why extend it with a vigil where Covid-19 could be transmitted possibly resulting in tragedy for other families?

One murder is one too many !