We are not having funerals to spare our relatives the harrowing of listening to words/music/songs that will upset them. As none of our family are religious any kind of ceremony will only do that. Sorry if that sounds harsh - I am left with a lot of painful memories of the huge funeral of my SIL dying a couple of years ago- so many distraught young people it made a bad situation worse. I do appreciate though that many people take a lot of comfort from these occasions and the music but just not for us.
What is our role as older people?
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