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Over 60s Beauty Guide - why?

(6 Posts)
grannyactivist Sat 20-Mar-21 13:48:34

Why do we have Beauty Guides for the over 60s? (Other ages are available.) Why not Compassion Guides, or Kindness Guides? How did we as a society come to prioritise beauty over thoughtfulness or compassion, or kindness? I actually did a google search and no, as expected, there is no guidance on these things.

Many years ago I employed a beautiful young woman who personified kindness and was thoughtful, caring and compassionate. She was not 'beautiful' in the accepted sense of having classically pretty features and this was hurtful to her because she felt judged on something she had no control over. She had a life limiting illness and one time, when she was very ill, we discussed beauty. I told her that she was beautiful on the inside and that's what counts and she told me that I was naive, that in her experience people are shallow and judge people on their looks.

Was she right?

Poppyred Sat 20-Mar-21 13:54:48

Yes I think they do in the first instance. When you get to know someone then you realise how lovely they are or not as the case may be.

Nonogran Sat 20-Mar-21 14:03:00

I was taken aback when I first met a colleague many years ago by his facial deformity but of course kept my discomfort to myself. As I got to know him he became a wonderful kind and thoughtful friend to work with and I loved working with him. I know he had struggles with the perception by others of his looks but my goodness, anyone who took time to get past that found a bright & lovely chap to be friends with. He was "handsome" in every way.

NellG Sat 20-Mar-21 14:14:07

Unfortunately I think she was, when I think about what people are prepared to put themselves through in order to meet some made up visual standard I could weep. It does matter more who we are on the inside but people are discriminated against regarding how they look.

As for the question of why we aren't taught more valuable things in life over having to 'look good', because it's harder work to be a decent human than it is to choose a lipstick? I think the answer is both long and complex and really simple. The simple answer is that our primary and primal drive is to reproduce, for that we need a sexual partner, so we 'display' just like other animals in order to attract one. The complicated answer is in how we as humans have altered that instinct into something quite different - we have endowed it with a greater meaning than it needs to have. Unfortunately we are bound by our genetic drives and challenged by our brains - the latter keeps trying to transcend the former but will inevitably fail by just overcomplicating things. It's a massive topic, but an interesting one I think.

grannyactivist Sat 20-Mar-21 15:15:38

Thank you for your replies.

I wrote the question because I was ticked off about a recent situation that resulted in me feeling sad, upset and angry that the things that I think matter don't seem to be important when placed against how people 'look'.

I take your point NellG about the urge to reproduce, but I am so disappointed that people who are of a similar age to me are still valuing their worth by how they 'look' to others, often to people they don't even really care about.

JillyJosie2 Sat 20-Mar-21 15:28:29

grannyactivist I completely agree with you. That women still, in the 21st century, allow how they look and other people's opinions to determine their lives is shocking. It almost seems as though we have gone backwards in time.

My WI had a Neal's Yard pamper evening recently. We were told by the young woman to use cleanser, toner, moisturiser, eye gel (to hide those wrinkles) and special night cream and hand cream and body gel. For goodness sake, apart from anything else all those things, plus make up, deluge the body in chemicals of various kinds. At least Neal's Yard is organic and relatively pure, therefore expensive, but cheaper products are loaded with carcinogenic items. I have read that the average woman eats 20+lbs of lipstick in her life!
Not for me or my daughters, thankfully. I have always used soap and simple moisturiser and am often told that I have excellent skin and look years younger than my age. I don't judge others on their looks, perhaps that helps!