My OH wants another dog

If you are considering a medium sized dog, you’re not averse to getting another dog, offering a reasonable compromise. Either your DH agrees to a medium dog or it’s no dog.

I managed to convince my DH to let us have a dog 13 years ago and for the first 6 years of his life, I regretted it. I caught him at a weak moment and moved quickly but it soon became obvious it wasn't something he really wanted. He wouldn't get involved in feeding, training, walking, etc. I don't quite know what happened but DH had a complete change of heart and as the dog gets to his twilight years, he is talking about how much he will be missed when the dog goes! He is even talking about when we get another dog. He wants a Doberman, if I wanted another dog, it would be a smaller breed. If we can't agree, we probably won't get another dog but if he really wants a Doberman, it will be on the understanding that he does all the work. I'll happily help out but the buck will stop with him.

read these posts, can`t see that GraneeChrissy has come back to us..

My beloved Sheltie died 4 years ago! I still miss her terribly, but decided that I was too old to really look after a dog properly, and then, we never know when we are going to die, nothing to do with age, that that does need to be taken into account

Having had highly trained GSD,s for 30 years I can understand where you are coming from, difference is our dogs are working dogs so my husband takes full responsibility for ours, I don’t go poo picking, training is done on very regular basis, so I’m not really involved with ours, but I can totally understand where you are coming from, I think I’d suggest a mini schnauzer be a lot easier and they don’t shed

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GraneeChrissy

Hi. We lost our two huge rescue German Shepherds over last 18months. Hubby misses them terribly. I do too sometimes but quite frankly after 12 years I dont miss the mass of hair everywhere, (and constant hoovering) the mud/muck/wet hair that has to be cleaned everytime they come back inside the house and picking up dog poo from our large garden. He wants another GSD but I cant face it again. One of them had fear aggression, was a lot of work and constant worry when anyone came to our gate, but at home with us, he was a gentle giant. I've tried to compromise and suggest a medium sized dog which doesn't cast but he isnt interested. I'm the one who ends up doing the cleaning, the training and grooming etc and I just dont want to start it again. Its starting to cause rows....if I give in I will end up resenting the dog and him...

Have you considered a more affection dog such as a Labrador. Our one gives us daily joy and pleasure. We could not have weathered the lock down without her.

Sorry, posted too soon. Can you not discuss a smaller less hairy dog?

You have offered a compromise. Your husband wants the easy part of the dog ownership. That is not on. Stick to your guns

I've a friend who walks a GSD and the dog is huge. She's young and physically fit. I couldn't manage a GSD. Obviously you know how much work walking would be, but will you two be up to it in 5 years time?

Think about your future health before you get another dog. We both love dogs and would love another one but DH said he doesn't want one because of the work involved and leaving it if we go away. He wouldn't stop me, but I would have to take full responsibility for it. He was right ... he has arthritis in knees and hips, and now I have hurt my back gardening (doing jobs DH can't do). So I'm glad I don't have to pick up poo and clean floors as often as I would. I get my 'dog fix' when I visit my daughter and her gorgeous spaniel. But I have to say, I'm glad my lawn doesn't look like hers, burned by dog urine, and my clothes and shoes always have muddy paw prints on them when the dog has fussed around me in the garden. Much as I love dogs, I don't miss the work they cause.

By the way, Miniature Schnauzers are very popular where l live. They do not shed and tend to have a friendly, calm temperament.

Older relatives of mine had a retired breeding bitch of a small, non-shedding breed. I think she was six or seven when they had her. It meant that she was much easier than a puppy and did not require long walks. She was ideal for them. Puppies are delightful but extremely hard work so an older dog is often the best idea for older people.

You didn't mention the expense of owning a dog, so perhaps money's not an issue? If you can afford it, how about employing a couple of teenagers to do 7 days a week between them, to walk the dog, brush it and clean its feet afterwards, and clean up any dog mess in the garden? OK, that still leaves the hoovering, but if the dog is brushed thoroughly every day, shedding should be lessened.

25Avalon, we are smitten with our boy. He’s so bright and keen to please that training is enjoyable. He’s still a giddy pup and will need a lot on input to help him curb his exuberant greetings. Our training group re-starts soon. Good

Iam64 they are gorgeous dogs labs. They can be very bitey for the first 6 months but easily trained with food!! Also they like to please and very good (when they get out of the bitey stage) with gc. Dd has offered to have puppy for a weekend or if we want to go on holiday. The gc looking forward to it. It’s good to have back up.

It reminds me you can always get a dog walker or send the dog for day care if it all becomes a bit much. Not cheap however and you do need to check credentials of the provider.

I would tell my husband if I were in your shoes, that you feel you are too old to deal with all that keeping a dog entails.

However, if he wants one, or two, that is okay, as long as he does all the feeding, exercising, hoovering, trips to the vet, etc.

Tell him kindly, how long you have found these tasks take, and that you have no intention of living in a mess of dog hairs, so can you sit down and work out a compromise?

If he will not consider a smaller breed of dog, then will he consider confining the dogs to having their beds in some easily cleaned place, like a utility room and only allowing them into one other room of the house.

German shepherds are quite content being outside most of the time, so a well-fenced garden, which I presume you already have, or a large dog run should meet the case.

I do realise that if you have always done all or even just most of the cleaning that he has absolutely no idea how long it takes, but he can surely learn.

Just a thought on the big v small dog issue. Big dogs definitely cause more domestic work. Our huge lab x standard poodle died last year. Until mega -puppy arrived, we had one small, well behaved spaniel. The pup means much mopping of floors, wiping of doors, cupboards etc and don’t mention the car.
Aside from causing dirt and taking up space, my experience of my big dogs has been they’re very good natured, easy to train and less likely to be happy primadonnas

My daughter lost her big dog last year. She has only a tiny house and did not want another dog. She put a notice in the local shop that she was available to walk dogs and has had a couple of dogs a week. She charges £25 for a 2 hour walk. But of course not everybody can have the energy and stamina to walk dogs.... just a thought.

We lost our lovely Jack Russell last year absolutely heart broken we still have our Ella mixed Staffordshire. We usually do get another dog but decided not to as we have another granddaughter. We have not had the granddaughters here this year but it’s not practical to have two dogs now. Why does your DH insist on another big dog surely as you get older it’s going to be too much? Stick to your guns say yes to a dog but one easier to handle.

25Avalon - snap, our lab is 5 months old. He’s huge, full of energy but an absolute gem. I’ve had lab crosses but he’s our first pedigree lab.
The key is , you both have to really want a big pup, and understand what’s needed.

I have exactly the same issue GrannyChrissy. We recently lost one of our GSD's, a very large male who was devoted to my DH and vice versa. It has been and still is very difficult for Dh to come to terms with his loss and he persists in wanting and looking online for another one, even though he knows I don't want another because it was me who did training, walking, cleaning etc. I have now relented -largely against my better judgement, because Dh has promised to help with all the care that goes with a large hairy dog. I'm not sure that the promises will be kept once he has his way, but what I have insisted on is that we get a female because they are smaller and some can be quite petite. I am also insisting on getting a pup (or very young dog) because that way there are no issues with mistreatment in the early years. Maybe you too could think about getting a female on the understanding that your husband takes equal shares in caring fully for the dog? Good luck, whichever way you decide.

Oh yes, I forgot to add that Poodles don’t smell either. Their coat is wool, not fur.

I realise that your husband might be reluctant, but I recommend that (after lockdown], you contact a local main breeder (have a look on the Kennel Club website) of Standard Poodles. They don’t shed, are very clean, very cheerful and friendly and have no genetic health problems, as their eye problem was ‘bred out’ of the breed years ago. People who think Poodles are silly and not proper dogs, invariably change their minds once they meet them. (Proper) breeders are usually happy to show off their dogs whether or not they have puppies or a planned litter. If there are no puppies and he knows you just want to meet the breed, hubby might be more willing to go if only to ‘shut you up’ as it were. If you can sell him on the big ones, remember that there are also two smaller sizes and I defy any dog lover not to fall in love once they are living with the funny, loving personality of a Poodle.

We lost our 12 yr old westie a year ago, he was like our baby we are still broken hearted, my husband would love another dog but we agree we couldn’t go through the heartbreak of losing another one, so he often takes our daughters dog for walks and she brings him over for visits.
This is a small way of having contact with a dog but not having one of your own

Is there a 'borrow your dog" near you. A lit of people allow others to take their dog for a walk, have them for a day/afternoon. Many who "borrow" are people who would like a dog but don't want the full responsibility, can't afford one and people who are thinking of getting a dog and would like to find out all that is involved. Son lends his dog to two families who would love a dog but feel they wouldn't cope along with work and children. Otherwise I would tell DH his dog he takes full responsibility.

Having had dogs all my life, when my last dog died 5 years ago I decided not to have another one for a while as it would be unfair on my then 19 year old cat. In the meantime, I joined borrowmydoggy.com and have been walking 2 lovely dogs, a cairn terrier and a poodle cross ever since. Four years later , said cat died just short of his 23rd birthday by which time I had got used to not having my own dog. The dogs I walk absolutely adore me (good for my ego) and I think the world of them. Their owners are now friends who have helped me in different ways, particularly during lockdown so for me this has been the perfect compromise.