My OH wants another dog

I would let dh get one on the understanding that HE does the looking after,and it`s not an option.

Smaller dog is the ideal compromise. It's the only fair solution really. Less work for you but still a dog for him.

When I had to get my 17 yr old dog put asleep I vowed no more, but as time went on I really missed having one. Finally decided to get another so rescued a dog of about 3/4 yrs old. No puppy for me, although I had a lot of training with this one as she had been badly treated and scared of her own shadow. They are great company, great exercise and just adore you. Maybe get a smaller dog that suits you better and I can bet when people head back to work, dogs will be heading to rescue centres and you will find one there.

NanaPlenty

Maybe see if you can get him to visit Dogs Trust with you - you never know he might just see a smaller dog he takes a fancy to. Not an easy situation to solve but if it’s you that ends up doing the work I would stick to my guns !

I was just about to suggest the same thing as Nana Plenty .We had always had dobermans as family pets which have been fab every one of them, they are wonderful dogs in the right hands, loving funny gentle giants . Anyway after our last one died, we decided not to have any more dogs ,but after sometime had passed we found the emptiness in the house & garden unbearable. So one day went to the nearest dog shelter and we fell in love with a smaller mixed breed dog and were able to adopt him. He sheds hair and needs just as much exercise & attention but with him being smaller he seems easier to manage somehow and we enjoy him so much. Picking a dog that you both make a connection with will make all the different, but you must make it clear to your husband before your get another one that you only want a smaller dog & that you're not doing all the grunt work yourself, it's a shared delight!

I would love another dog and spending so much time at home this past year makes it look more viable. However my husband does not want the commitment of daily dog walks with bags of dog poo in his pockets. I am arthritic so my walking is a bit limited. He likes the house to be clean and not smelling 'doggy'. He has never really got over the death of our Irish red and white setter, we had three dogs at that time and he loved all of them but he felt Seamus was extra special and he held him in his arms in the 'dog room' when the Vet and his nurse came to put him to sleep. It was a horrible traumatic day for both of us. I didn't want Seamus to see me cry and for him to get more anxious so I sat by the fire listening to the whole thing. Dreadful day. Actually I can't even think about it now without getting upset so maybe he is right. No more dogs but they add so much to life.

After I lost my 17 yr old dog I didn’t want the fuss of a puppy so I volunteered as a dog Walker and Fosterer for the Cinnamon Trust. Now I am a permanent Fosterer snd have a lovely whippet. They are a brilliant charity, pay all approved vets bills so no worry as most of their dogs are older ones, and you are giving peace of mind to older owners who are ill or pass away and know their dog will be looked after. The only downside is that you are usually taking on an older dog so you don’t know how long they have. But that also means that they are likely to be well trained and just need a lot of TLC till they get used to their new home.

This could all come out of lockdown loneliness. Maybe make a condition that he does the feeding, grooming, cleaning the house of hair and muddy paws - and always poo duty is his domain. If he lapses tell him the dog has to go.

I’m a cat lady myself, and held off having one because my OH had problems with a former wife keeping six cats in a tiny flat. Before we got together (he lived next door) I caught him feeding my cat from his sandwiches and we both cried when she had to be put down.

Fast forward 20 years and during lockdown I was getting more and more depressed so he agreed I could have a cat provided all the looking after and cost was mine. Along came little Loki and guess what? I don’t get a look-in! Although I do have the litter tray duties!

Is there a local Dog rescue charity where your husband could volunteer? That way he could spend time with dogs that need care and attention. Or maybe you could try fostering? This is a great way of giving a rescue dog a good temporary home while the charity finds them a permanent home. I hope you can come to a solution, I feel for both of you

Maybe see if you can get him to visit Dogs Trust with you - you never know he might just see a smaller dog he takes a fancy to. Not an easy situation to solve but if it’s you that ends up doing the work I would stick to my guns !

Our 14 year old rescue dog died during first lockdown after 13 years with us. Heartbreaking. We got another puppy a couple of months later - same small breed, no hair loss (very important to us) goes to groomer every 6 weeks, can go in sink for a wash after a muddy walk and best of all full of character and fun. Often goes on sleepovers to DC as best friends with DGC and then the house feels very empty. Yes dogs are a tie at times and need training etc but for us the good outweighs the bad - wouldn’t be without a dog, but it’s got to be the type of dog that suits you and your lifestyle.

I can so empathise with these comments. We have always had a dog(s) from the time we were married 52 years ago. Our last dog, a Jack Russell, died two years ago. All were lovable and soon became part of the family and my husband dearly wants another dog.

But like Granee Chrissy I am the one who does all the clearing up, looking at dog's hair everywhere and, if I'm honest, the dog training as my husband is far too soft.

So I've put my foot down and said we've had a dog all this time, now it's my time. I'm afraid that I would be left having to care for the dog as my husband is older and, quite honestly, I love the peace, the lack of dog hair, the smell, etc. that comes with being a dog owner. When it was colder I could wear my black coat knowing there weren't any stray dog hairs lurking on the sleeves or at the back. But, I know, if one was offered to us, not a puppy, we would take it, I'm sure! Just shot myself in the foot!

We have just got a Labrador puppy (4months old) having waited 18 months since our last one died. Dh desperately wanted another although I warned him a puppy would be very different! Lots of hard work - pulling on the lead, biting everything to pieces including toys and bedding, picking up and trying to eat grass, moss twigs and stones. I knew dh would do little or nothing to help so I only got another because I wanted one. If you don’t feel that way my advice is DON’T.

Two ideas - as someone else has suggested get a rescue gsd that’s a little older and trained. Or you could dog sit and have a dog whilst it’s owners are on holiday for a couple of weeks. There are organisations that arrange this.

If you do succumb buy from a breeder who will take the dog back if things don’t work out. Also be aware there is a shortage of dogs and they are now very expensive.

Perhaps your husband could volunteer at your local dogs’ home instead, once covid restrictions are over?

There must be a compromise here, but I do think another GSD would incur too much work, even if your DH helps with training, walking, cleaning etc. Either you come to an agreement on the breed, with focus on temperament, size and shedding of hair, or you could join a group like ‘Barking Mad’, where you can look after a dog whilst owners are on holiday. The area franchisee would match you with a suitable dog. It works well for people who don’t wish to commit to having a dog full-time. Alternatively, rescue centres are crying out for volunteers to walk the dogs in their care, and to get involved as much as they wish. Maybe a friend or neighbour would
like you to look after their dog sometimes. I hope it works out for you as these issues create a huge rift in relationships.

Good compromise Scentia RSPCA and other rescue centres need all the help they can get.

*walk the dogs

You must stand your ground.
I list my dog back in November and I miss her so terribly but my DH has asked me not to get another one, I will respect his wishes.
I have got myself a couple of Guinea Pigs to care for and once lockdown is over I will volunteer at the local RSPCA to well the dogs for them, that will give me my pooch fix without upsetting my DH.

I have wrestled very hard with my heart needing wanting desperately missing a dog in my life. My head tells me NO !
I have friends that want me to go and spend time staying with them and if l go and visit my adult children one of which lives 6000 miles away l would have to kennel the dog for a couple of months and it wouldn’t be fair to the dog. So l have resorted to borrowing a friends dog once a week and it’s taking the edge off my longing.
Also I think that your husband should take more responsibility for any dog that you might get. It’s not fair that you do everything for the dog.

"I'm the one who ends up doing the cleaning, the training and grooming etc and I just dont want to start it again"

So he gets the benefits of a dog without the hard work

You are doing the right thing on standing your ground.

Does your dh understand he has to help take care of the dog too?

If your DH insists on a GSD he’ll have to take over his care, including the hoovering, or at the very least, share it with you.
I’m with BlueBelle another vote here for greyhounds!

Go to German Shepherd Rescue. Hopefully, they can marry you up with a dog who has been bred for temperament as well as looks by a proper breeder. I was brought up with GSD's and they are wonderful dogs if properly bred and trained.

I know how you feel about all the cleaning GraneeChrissy we have just lost two of our dogs and I can't believe how little hoovering etc there is to do now, of course I would do it all again in a heart beat to have them back.
Can you not come to a compromise with your husband and look for a smaller dog which does not shed so much. There has to be agreement not one person dictating terms.

Why oh why was it always you that ended up doing all the cleaning, training, grooming etc?
Does your husband like the idea, or prestige, of having a large dog like this but not the sheer hard work involved?
His attitude is very unfair on you!
You don't say how old you both are but just suppose, heaven forbid, your husband became ill or died, how would you feel about being left with a dog you never wanted? (Sorry if that comment offends).
Bringing a new dog into the home is a commitment for many years as you already know. Think carefully is my advice ?

Or, he could agree to a small, adorable spaniel.
They do like rolling in cow pats, though.

I miss having a dog but I know it was the right decision not to get another one as we used to visit family overseas for long stretches. However, in the last year I have really missed having a dog.

It depends on your circumstances, your age and if you can come to an agreement about a more manageable and less hairy breed. Your husband will have to play a full part if you take on another dog and not leave everything to you.

I’m the main dog obsessive in our relationship. Mr i probably wouldn’t have dogs if he didn’t live with me but, 40 years of children and always a dog or 3, he even began to love the dogs (never any doubt he’d love the children)
I do the training and the cleaning. I understand your feelings GraneeChrissie. GSD’s are huge, messy, heavy shedding animals. They need proper training, big powerful dogs and a fear aggressive/reactive one would be a challenge.
You have to both commit to dogs like that. If your husband really wants another GSD he must commit to wading floors/doors and hoovering daily. To washing the dog beds and towels, beds weekly, towels daily. To training and except using the dog. If he won’t genuinely do that, maybe he could volunteer at your local dog shelter. They’re sadly often full if old GSD’s who need walking.
Or, he could agree to a small, adorable spaniel.