Lost son-in-law

wildswan16

Of course you should contact him. A text or letter to let him know that you wish him well in his future, are sad that things didn't work out, and you would be happy to see him if he is ever nearby.

That is spot on because it lets him decide.
I am in the same situation, with my daughter in negotiations over a divorce. I am very fond of my SIL but he has moved into a new relationship and I'm not sure if he will want to stay in touch with me. But I will give him the option (as above). I'm sure my daughter wouldn't object as she knows I'm fond of him, and in my case there is a granddaughter. But I would make sure your daughter is okay with it, just in case it really upsets her.

Yes do contact him, he may be wondering if it would be ok to do the same.

I kept in touch and visited my in laws after I divorced, right up until the times they died many years later. I went to their funerals.
I was also Godmother to my ex sister in laws son, a few years after the divorce.

How would your daughter react if you contacted him?

wildswan16

Of course you should contact him. A text or letter to let him know that you wish him well in his future, are sad that things didn't work out, and you would be happy to see him if he is ever nearby.

That's a good idea Wildswan and leaves the ball in his court over contact.

One of my aunts had three sons and five daughters-in-law. She kept in touch with the two exes in spite of divorces, and considered them still part of her family.

Welshwife

DD has been divorced about 17 years now and I am still in contact with SIL - he sent me a Mother’s Day message. We always got on well and he used to visit me with the children and they would come for Sunday lunch etc. He even joined us for Christmas Day with DD etc one year. He remarried a few years ago and I think maybe our messages to each other are covert now as she has made things a tad difficult but we work round it.
It is a special relationship and different to any other.

What a heart warming post! I wish I had such a relationship in my life.
Wishing you well

Could you contact his parents first of all? Explain how devastated you are about the divorce, and ask their advice on whether he would be happy to hear from you.
He may want a clean break.

Of course you should contact him. A text or letter to let him know that you wish him well in his future, are sad that things didn't work out, and you would be happy to see him if he is ever nearby.

DD has been divorced about 17 years now and I am still in contact with SIL - he sent me a Mother’s Day message. We always got on well and he used to visit me with the children and they would come for Sunday lunch etc. He even joined us for Christmas Day with DD etc one year. He remarried a few years ago and I think maybe our messages to each other are covert now as she has made things a tad difficult but we work round it.
It is a special relationship and different to any other.

Contact him.
He was your sil after all,your dd divorced him,you didn`t.
He may be thinking the same as you and would love contact.
Theres only one way to find out.
I wish you luck..

I have a friend who keeps in touch - and they with her - with several of her son's ex-girlfriends and an ex-wife.

If you can keep your friendship with your son-in-law separate from your relationship with your daughter, I see no reason why you shouldn't send birthday/Christmas cards. But keep it low key and be considerate of your daughter's feelings.