The Argy Bar and Tea Room

The hot tub is extra bubbly after all those cocktails!

Be careful with Thor, ladies. There’s plenty of him to go around! Or there was. ?

They will be sorry if they mess with the llamas. They revert to bottom biting when stressed.
Should we take the llamas down to the cellar? The till is bulging with cash since the WAGS arrived and we don't want them to leave with sore posteriors.

Blimey.
They make Ladies Day at certain race meetings look classy.

Gerroff my toenails

Now they are all falling getting into the hot tub. After all grandmajet's cakes and huge amounts of alcohol it looks a bit dangerous.
I have put Thor on Lifeguard duty but they are trying to undress him and pull him in.

Cheap at half the price AGA. What it is to have contacts!
WAGS are loving the experience'. Ooh says one. I'm drinking it all in.
Indeed you are, love. We can see it for ourselves.

Not sure the llamas like the cuddles or being mistaken for cute woolly donkeys Nor the suggestion that they, too, could have their toenails painted.

Those WAGS can certainly sink the cocktails, with poteen chasers! The sandwiches have all gone, so I filled some vol au vents with that grey stuff from under the sink and they seem to love them. Also the petit fours ( or should I say, petit floors cos they did end up there for a bit ). I’m surprised we haven’t a Michelin star yet!
May Hem seems very keen to be helpful to the customers, especially the rich and/or hunky male ones.

Thor and I have been busy brewing all day and have 5 kegs of poteen ready.
I have been to Vince the Vintner and he has given me cut price bottles of vodka, brandy, rum and whisky for the cocktails. For this he wants access to the hot tub and May Hem all day Sunday. I had to agree to this at 50p a bottle. Bargain! and May won't mind.

Well, I think we are ready for the WAG onslaught at 3pm.
jet's pate sandwiches are beginning to curl up at the edges attract attention, and that's just from the flies.
I have put infusers of our essential oils out and bottled the rest for sale (@£17.50 btw).
The llamas are so chilled by it already, they are horizontal.
Oh - they're asleep you say?
Tub is clean and bubbling, strewn with rose petals. Please keep the Admiral out.
Who will do the conducted Spa tour?

Oooh lemon I didn’t realise!! ... ?

Chris wouldn’t be the same and neither would Christmas.

lemon I’m glad you are back with Lord Lemongrove too. Chris wouldn’t be the same without the annual Gala at Lemongrove Manor.
Well done grandmajet and all. AB12 a successful operation with RR. Good press coverage.
Pants is that comms chap still vibrating your aerial to get a better connection?
Ixion love your idea of lavender oil. Bound to be a wow with the WAGS. AGA do you need help with the brewing, with that many coming we need to make sure we don’t run out.
I’ve got the Admiral and Captain at work in the corner making those little cocktail umbrellas. Not only does it safe buying them, it keeps their hands occupied, especially when May Hem is around.
grandmajet those cream horns of yours are an unusual shape. They look a bit provocative with a french fancy either side. I think they’d be a wow with the WAGS but the older clientele might swoon ?

Mini cream horns with squirty cream coming up, and some mixed french fancies, always a favourite with the smarter clientele; I’ve also made some tasteful triangular sandwiches with some of that pate I found at the back of the fridge. I scraped the hairy bits off first, and decorated them with sprigs of ?parsley from the edge of the llama pond.

Tried, but was only offered Groucho.
Enough miseries here, without adding another?.
Can you knock up a batch of Viennese whirls or some cream horns, do you think?
And some recycled cucumber slices for some cucumber sandwiches, thin cut, no crusts svp.
Many thanks!

Ok ixion, it sounds as if we need to employ a harpist - I’ve been told I’m one of those - or was it a harpy? Hmm.

I'm just thinking, jet , that the Tea Rooms seek to exude an air of old fashioned gentility, a nod to a past of gracious living blah blah. A little demo of nail filing and polishing can be reasonably discreet - not the place for Grimsby seaweed to be slapped about on bare flesh, however finely toned.
We need to tease, tempt them with the unknown by signing up for the Spa.
Kerching.

AGA, I think RR has been doing too many birds! One in every port, says lemon.
Wot no seaweed wraps? No cucumber eyes?

How about a ticketed event while they are here?
Tanya and Sherree giving nail demos?
Then, sign 'en up for the Wellness Spa membership.
(Sorry, jet. Wouldn't recommend your seaweed wraps quite just yet. Early days....)

Hope May has got it right. She told us there were 2 coming to the spa at 8 and 8 turned up at 2. She is usually ogling someone and not paying attention.
If it's WAGS I better get on with the poteen and cocktails.

So that's what they were.
Created havoc in the plug hole when I tried to drain the hot tub.
May has left me a note (nails NOT designed for writing?)
to say that the Tea Rooms have a booking for a party of WAGS tomorrow at 3. Are we up to it?
I will pick some lavender from out the back and crush it senseless finely to make an essential oil £17.50 a pop, is that OK?

Does that mean RR will be doing bird grandmajet?

Glad you are back at Lemongrove Hall Lemon. I can come round and steal polish your silver again.

Have you seen The Daily Gossip? ‘Yachting magnate Rich Reggie arrested on multiple budgie smuggling charges following an investigation by AB12, a private detective agency based at the famous Argy bar. Officials say they couldn’t have amassed enough evidence without the wonderful professionalism shown by these investigators. RR has asked for several other crimes to be taken into account.’
We are famous!

Thanks girls, yes, my adventures with Reggie were exciting, but at the end of the day reliable old Lord Lemongrove may be the best option.
Well done for the budgie ‘sting’ ??????free drinks all round.