Disappointments that turned out for the best

Yoginimeisje

Oh Naninka what a terrible trauma that must have been for you, you must have been very frightened! But sounds like it all turned out for the best, being with the baby's dad & his mum, she sounded lovely.

All's well that ends well.
I've been very fortunate the rest of my adult life.

I could have been a Brussels bureaucrat with all the lifestyle and money benefits- but management hadn’t told me of their plan and I’d become happily pregnant by the time they did. So not really a disappointment just a ‘what if’ but 40 years on I don’t have a moment’s regret and a varied and very lucky, happy work/life jumble to look back on.

Wise words from your nurse Gagajo hope you are fully recovered now and enjoying your GS.

Oh Naninka what a terrible trauma that must have been for you, you must have been very frightened! But sounds like it all turned out for the best, being with the baby's dad & his mum, she sounded lovely.

So many times, this has been the case in my life. So much, it is a bit woo, although usually I don't believe in stuff like that.

Left a much loved job for one I thought would be better but wasn't, only to find out 9 months later I had cancer, and JUST happened to be in the part of the UK with probably the best cancer care.

Again, left another great job overseas, which I still miss, for a relationship that didn't work out, only to find that my daughter was pregnant and needed me to be in the UK with her.

Took another overseas job that I very quickly HATED (and was desperate to go home/back to the UK) and that I was miserable at because it was exceptionally highly paid, only to be allowed to leave and work from home during lockdown, meaning I earned a huge overseas salary while living in the UK. I ended up only spending 11 weeks 'in country' at the hated job. Working from home for it was great, it was the place and the people I hated.

Daughter's 'accidental' pregnancy. She was determined not to have children and I was desperate for grandchildren. GC is the absolute apple of my eye. Nevermind 'accident', he is my miracle GC as far as I am concerned.

Relationship that I wanted to turn into marriage didn't. At the time, I was devastated but now, I can see I had SUCH a lucky escape.

Even having cancer totally changed me. Of course I am one of the lucky ones who survived it. Treatment was brutal, 5 surgeries, chemo, radio. But my view of life has completely changed. And one of the nurses taught me something that has stopped me from obsessing about coping with life in general (just focus on getting through the one thing that is in front of you, not the whole battle).

Hi Yogini. No, I'm afraid they asked me to leave - my Mum says now that it was in my best interest to go.
I moved in with the baby's father (he lived rent-free with his widowed mother) and, eventually, we bought our first home with savings from his job. His mum was a wonderful lady who enabled us to start our home ownership journey. She's gone now but never forgotten.

Naninka did you stay with your adoptive mum & dad with your new baby?

What a lovely story Naninka You certainly did the right thing and what a very happy outcome. It was hard back in 1986 for a single mum in your position, so well done you

I found out I was pregnant when I was in my teens. My family were mortified and put pressure on me to terminate the pregnancy.

I was adopted as a baby so I was also told that this could be an option - have the child but give it up to new parents.

However, the fact that I was adopted made me consider my own position in life. I could so easily have been a termination but I wasn't. I also had no blood relatives that I knew of. Nobody was connected to me, despite me loving my adoptive family immeasurably.

It was 1986 and Madonna's words rang rather true: "Papa, Don't Preach". So, against great opposition, I chose to keep my baby.

My beautiful daughter, now 35, a nurse, well-travelled, brains and beauty in abundance and her wedding is this month! Interestingly, I had my son two years after (doubt I would if I'd not kept my firstborn) and I am similarly as proud of him.

Now I have four children, four grandchildren (no 5 on way), I took a Bachelor degree in my mid 20s, followed by a Masters degree. I have an amazing husband and a loving, happy family.

Doors may appear closed but stick your foot in them people!

I'm 4months in to a house sale and purchase. 2 weeks before moving day my buyers pulled out! I was so traumatised by this as my mortgage term ended on the 1st of May, so I had nightmares about what would happen. Eventually plucked up courage to phone mortgage bank, they were so nice and understanding, extended my mortgage till 31st Oct. Phew!
I then got another buyer on my house with, no hold ups, for 10k more

I always believed the adage; 'Everything happens for a reason' till my daughter estranged herself 8yrs ago, taking my beloved GC away for no reason. Due to moving I got my son to message her about 8 boxes of 'stuff' in my attic of hers, could she collect it please, her reply was 'dump it' . A box full of her dancing certificates, medals, photos etc. Her baby book. I now have to go through all the boxes, [as if I don't have enough to do with the move myself], and just keep what I myself can't just dump. So I always wonder what the 'happens for a reason' is here [?]

We had planned on having a second child fairly soon after our first baby was born. After 3 years of trying, and feeling depressed at our lack of success, we decided to adopt, and received a lovely baby girl. She has been a delight to us, and my main support since my DH died, and during Covid, with most of her siblings living abroad. She has also presented us with 2 delightful GC.
3 years after her arrival we ‘found the knack’ again, and went on to have another 3 children.
How glad I am that we had that long gap between births, resulting in us receiving our ‘chosen’ child.

We wanted to move closed to my DH family, so put our house on the market and got sold subject to Contract quite quickly. We found a Bungalow that was ripe for extending and refurbishment, and with DH in the Building trade it would make a really nice dream home for our family. We were in a Chain situation with our Buyer, informed the vendors of the Bungalow we wanted that there would be a slight delay in completing the sale,to which they withdrew it from the Market. So back to square one for us.
DH got talking v to one of the directors of the National building firm he worked for, who advised him that they had plans in the pipeline to build a small estate of New build houses situated right in the middle of the area we were looking to buy from. He also offered him.a generous long service discount should we wish to buy one, and first choice of all the available plots on the estate, along with the pick of the Kitchen, Bathroom sanitary wear,Tiling, and internal wood finishes. It was a dream come true. We moved into our brand new home the following October, DH became the caretaker and security person for the rest of the estate as it was being built, and in return we got several Extras added to our new home for free, including Garden landscaping, fitted wardrobes in all bedrooms, and an extra side Tarmac Driveway.
Meanwhile,the vendors of the Bungalow contacted us again, their buyer had dropped out of the sale this time around, and they were hopeful that we would now want to buy it instead, to which they received a very firm 'No Thankyou'!

My mum too lost out on a property in an area she was deparate to move to. Then she list out on a second and was very upset. Soon after a much nicer property came up on the market not just much better but cheaper too and her much loved furniture fitted in beautifully.

Carol57 I'm with you. Marriage was rubbish and now I've my own lovely home so better now without him

We lost a house due to a financial disaster. It was very large with enormous gardens, and we had to downsize to a much smaller end terrace. What a stroke of luck that was - the move had resolved the crisis, we had lovely neighbours, a beautiful oasis of a home with long windows that let all the light in, a brilliant location for shops and work, and I could not have been happier. The 'big house' was on a development of similar properties and neighbours were never seen - all commuters with high walled gardens, few children and complete silence for most of the time. We have moved on again to a slightly bigger house now, but I will never forget the peace, happiness and calm I had from that move.

I've had a few occasions of disappointment first better outcome later in my life but most recent was DD2.

She went for a specialist job with a company that supplied parts for Rolls Royce Aircraft Engines just before all the trouble with the Boeing 737 Max and then Covid. At the time they gave the job to a man and she was so disappointed and annoyed as she was better qualified.

Just into the first Lockdown her recruiter called her to say the company had stopped it's expansion and she would have been out of work, a lucky save there. She has also been promoted in her existing company so very much a better outcome after disappointment.

So many interesting stories. My mum and dad lived in a lovely seaside town when they were first married. Then my father got transferred by his job to a biggish city. They were gutted. Mum became pregnant with my brother shortly after and had a very difficult birth. She was told afterwards that if she'd been in the small hospital near where they used to live she wouldn't have survived, she was lucky to be in a dedicated maternity hospital with the expertise and technology to save her life.

Definitely if it's for you, it won't go by you.

An elderly aunt died and my sister and I were left a watch and a locket from her will, to sort out between us which we would like. Sister asked me which I would prefer, sight unseen. As I didn’t have a decent wristwatch, I chose the watch.

Was disappointed when they arrived, it was a fob watch, not wrist. Sister liked the locket, it opened up to put a photo in, I wished I had gone for it instead.

The watch didn’t work either. Took it to jeweller who sorted it. I then found out that the watch had belonged to my grandmother, a lady I never knew. This made it feel quite special.

I have it on display now, and every day when I wind it up, I am glad I chose it and not the locket, which had no history to it.

Twenty eight years ago we put a deposit on a new build house very close to where we were living, so no problem with school or job changes. Exciting as it meant going from a small, three bed terraced house to a lovely four bed detached. All measured up, carpets ordered and new curtains custom made. We also had a keen buyer for our house. Shortly before the move, the builder went into administration. The house was complete but lots of snagging needed done. We had to make the decision to walk away from it. However the same week, we found a four bed detached in an established estate ten minutes walk away, where we had always wanted to live. Purchase was completed almost immediately. We are still here and very happy. The new estate where we should have moved to does not look nearly as appealing now.

Like Caro57 and Sadgrandma I too was dumped by my first husband for a woman who was ten years younger then me.
I was was so utterly devastated and humiliated that it took me eight years before I found ‘the right one,’ strangely he is eleven years younger then me.?
We’ve now been married for 35 years and every day I’m grateful that my first marriage ended.

Re houses falling through, my mother would always say, ‘If it’s meant to be....’

We were very disappointed when the purchase of the bigger house we wanted, didn’t come off. We couldn’t sell ours quickly enough, and the apologetic vendors sold to someone else.
Dds were still pre teen or very early teen at the time, and although our house was nice, we could really have done with more space downstairs.

Roll on a few years, after dds started going out at night, and we were so glad we didn’t buy it! It was on a very quiet, unlit road, lined with masses of thick shrubs, etc., off another road that was also very quiet and ‘lurky’ IYKWIM. We’d never have felt remotely happy about them coming home alone at night - I’d have been having 40 fits every time - whereas our house is a short walk from a bus stop - and buses are very frequent - on a relatively busy, well lit road.

Roll on yet more years and it’s fine for me and dh, and we still have plenty of room for guests.

I think that this often happens with houses, somehow one is just "meant to be". We never had a chance to view one house because our own house didn't go under offer until after it was sold. Next year we sold and the original house came back on the market as the new owners were divorcing. We'd been sad to lose a different house in the meantime, but this was obviously the right one. We were happy there for around 15 years and only moved out last summer.

On a company relocation we were under pressure to find a house fast.
We viewed a lovely old house that ticked all the boxes but I really didn’t feel happy.
We had an argument in a lay-by as OH really wanted it.
I put my foot down.
As we settled into the area we always pointed it out as the house that never was.
My eldest child as a student used to watch Most Haunted.
The house featured, apparently it was full of spirits?

I went to view a house with my son and the owner said the couple before us had agreed to buy it, but we could come in as we'd made an appointment. It was perfect for him and he was gutted that we'd been pipped at the post. Three weeks later the owner rang to ask if we were still interested as the couple's mortgage offer had fallen through. Son and partner have lived there now for two years very happily . What's meant to be!

Most things really do happen for the best, even if you can’t see it at the time. My sister was a solicitor specialising in conveyancing, and she was a firm believer in how ever disappointed you may be when a house falls through, you will end up with the right one in the end. She was never wrong. It certainly happened to us. I love the house we ended up with and I’m so pleased that the house we thought was the one didn’t work out. Have faith!