SecondhandRose-
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A Joke! Remember them? ,
Relax! Not demeaning to Ladies nor even Women!
Scotland’s First Minister was visiting an Edinburgh hospital and enters a ward full of patients with no sign of illness or injury and greets one.
The patient replies;
“Tae fair your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain of the puddin race,
Aboon them a’ you take your place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As lang’s my airm”
The Minister is confused and moves on to the next patient and says hello..
The patient responds:
“Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit”
Even more confused, the Minister moves on to the next patient who immediately begins to chant;
“We sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi’ bickerin brattle”
The Minister turns to the accompanying doctor and asks
“What kind of facility is this? A mental ward?
“No” replies the doctor, the serious BURNS unit” - `
Here’s one of mine
On Monday when we can all sit outside the pub for a drink ?
The joke was a dig at Nicola Sturgeon
Firecracker123 Actually it originally featured a David Cameron, but I tried to make it neutral and keep out of Scottish politics!. 
Please stay! I was getting depressed reading of the trouble and strife being caused by shopping trolleys; there's nothing funny in them; dirty or sparkling clean!
OoRoo
Rufus2
Susiewoozie Sorry if you feel demeaned!
Rest assured; some of my best GN friends are Scots whom I wouldn't dare bash!
Perhaps the following is more your style!
Comes courtesy of "The Oldie" mag. Full of good jokes and serious articles on a host of topics. I believe they are currently selling cheap copies to those in need.
A university lecturer is giving a talk on language.
"The funny thing is, we all know about double negatives that are positives – like 'I didn't say I wouldn't do it'," the lecturer says. "But I've never, in 40 years, come across a double positive with a negative meaning."
And a bright student in the audience said, "Yeah, yeah."
If you’d read the thread , you’d have seen that I did not criticise your joke. And I feel neither demeaned nor offended .
Susiewoozie Sorry if you feel demeaned! 
Rest assured; some of my best GN friends are Scots whom I wouldn't dare bash!
Perhaps the following is more your style!
Comes courtesy of "The Oldie" mag. Full of good jokes and serious articles on a host of topics. I believe they are currently selling cheap copies to those in need.
A university lecturer is giving a talk on language.
"The funny thing is, we all know about double negatives that are positives – like 'I didn't say I wouldn't do it'," the lecturer says. "But I've never, in 40 years, come across a double positive with a negative meaning."
And a bright student in the audience said, "Yeah, yeah."
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