Feeling hurt and unappreciated

A card , I think you are lucky !

I guess it all depends on what the usual customer is for birthdays

This.

I really do know now exactly how you feel. It is very very hurtful because it gives out the message that they don't care. I didn't get a card, not even a happy birthday - no acknowledgement of my 70th whatsoever. Even my retirement was completely ignored. I have always given him very special birthday surprises for his milestones but no more.

I do think that some men are of the opinion that it is up to other members of the family and friends to make a fuss of their wives on a big birthday. I imagine is down to a lazy attitude because they have always relied upon their OH to organise social occasions.
You need to tell him you were upset and that in future you want him to make more effort but that for now you will settle for him thinking of something really nice to do for you.

ClicketyClick

I really do know now exactly how you feel. It is very very hurtful because it gives out the message that they don't care. I didn't get a card, not even a happy birthday - no acknowledgement of my 70th whatsoever. Even my retirement was completely ignored. I have always given him very special birthday surprises for his milestones but no more.

That's awful!

I know just how you feel, but after presumably several decades together, you must be used to it by now? Or was this unusual behaviour?
Some families “do” birthdays, some don’t. Mine do/did, Paw’s didn’t really.
So I took to organising it for myself “As it’s my birthday I know you’ll want to take me out so I’ve booked xxxx at xxxx” or invited the in-laws for lunch “as it’s my birthday and I’d like to celebrate it with you” giving them plenty of time to get the flowers and card. Sneaky, but it worked!
You presumably know how much he does care for you but the right gestures can make all the difference. 🌺

My DD organises DH as otherwise he'd not do anything or get it wrong somehow. However, when reminded he does rise to the occasion and sometimes overdoes it. Fine by me.
The OP reminds me of my 40th. Friends and family did well but not DH - I got a card and a copy of Prince Charles book then he went out for the evening. He made up for that on my 50th though.

Don’t go by extravagant gifts and gestures.
My cheating husband , bought me beautiful, expensive gifts
The Xmas before he left me for his mistress, he ordered 24 red roses to be delivered to me .
Be content with your re-cycled card. It means more than grand gestures.
All that glitters is not gold.

Very good point *crazyH". Sorry to hear about your husband.

Thankyou Aveline