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Do you like yourself?

(73 Posts)
polomint Thu 15-Apr-21 15:12:10

I sometimes do and sometimes don't! I wish I had a different nature. I was an only child and I'm basically quite a shy person and don't push myself forward to speak to people. I wish I was more out going and confident. I like my own company and yet I like to be out but basically in the background. I like some bits about me but some bits I'd like to change. So would I like myself as a friend?
This lockdown certainly makes me more introspective. Hope fully when restrictions are lifted, I won't dwell on thses odd thoughts. It's not really a question I have asked my friends if they like me or not but we still meet up so I suppose they must. Either that, they just put up with me!

Lucca Fri 16-Apr-21 07:08:15

How strange I was just thinking how I don’t like myself the other day. I’m far too easily irritated and can be selfish not to mention lazy ....

DanniRae Fri 16-Apr-21 07:59:54

When I start on a downward spiral of not being happy with myself I say to myself (as has already been said) "I am what I am!" To me this means that I accept that I have faults but I am trying to be my best self.
So, in answer to the question, "Yes" I like myself smile

M0nica Fri 16-Apr-21 08:13:17

Liking yourself is about acceptance. Accepting and understanding what you are and working with it.

It doesn't preclude recognising your faults and trying to ameliorate them.

FindingNemo15 Fri 16-Apr-21 08:13:49

I notice that a lot of the posters are only children, so am I. Maybe this has something to do with how we are or see ourselves compared to others who seem more content.

Alexa Fri 16-Apr-21 08:34:57

Self esteem is much to be desired but not when it becomes conceit and attitude of entitlement.

The more you understand about yourself and others the more you can forgive yourself and others.

nanna8 Fri 16-Apr-21 08:47:31

A common phrase used here is ‘so far up yourself you can see daylight,’which I always find funny.

BigBertha1 Fri 16-Apr-21 09:43:27

Not at all.

DanniRae Fri 16-Apr-21 09:55:08

I find it sad when posters are saying that they don't like themselves sad
BigBertha1 .......... flowers

henetha Fri 16-Apr-21 09:55:22

No. But I am trying hard to be a better person these days.
I often fail.

annodomini Fri 16-Apr-21 10:46:28

I was quite shy as a girl and some of my classmates saw this as being stand-offish which was never my intention. However, I wasn't a loner and did have a group of friends I often got together with although my parents were very particular about not letting me go out in the evenings, until I was 15/1 6. I find that I like myself to the extent that other people appear to like me and I have often been quite surprised when they do.

Lesley60 Fri 16-Apr-21 10:49:44

I’ve often wished I could see myself from someone else’s eyes
I only have a couple of good friends and I’ve had those for over forty years.
I’m not one to make friends easily and have never been in any sort of clique.
But I know I am a good mother and grandmother, but I would love to have been one of the popular girls when I was younger instead of being in the background hardly noticed

Moggycuddler Fri 16-Apr-21 10:50:23

Yes, I am happy with the person that I am. Not always happy with the way life is and what it has sometimes handed me, but with the person that I am inside. I would not want to change myself. I know that I can be fussy, a bit bossy, and annoying sometimes, but I also know that I am honest and dependable and not all that many other people seem to be. So I'm OK being me.

Janetashbolt Fri 16-Apr-21 11:04:25

I wish I had a backbone, I get really angry at things but never respond, just let people get away with treating me like sh*t. I'd have left my husband 20 years ago, too late now, totally dependent on him financially

Aepgirl Fri 16-Apr-21 11:05:17

There are certainly parts of me that I don’t like (not physical) and that I would like to change, but I’m too old for that now. I know I can be a little outspoken, but it is usually well-meaning and never cruel, and of course there are some people who don’t accept this. I have one particular good friend who irritates me, and others, because she would rather walk away from a situation that affects her and her family, than confront it.

JaneR185 Fri 16-Apr-21 11:22:39

I think I'm lovely. grin But I was talking to my daughter the other day about friendships running their course and I realised that I've had friends who have basically dropped me. sad I really liked these friends but one moved, years ago, and didn't tell me and another stopped contact after a general chat about religion led to her talking to her priest about me and being warned off! I had said to her I like and follow the tenets of the Christian faith but had doubts about there being a God.

Millie22 Fri 16-Apr-21 11:44:29

Yes of course 😂 but we do all have so much time to reflect on things just now which isn't always helpful.

JacksSussex Fri 16-Apr-21 11:50:02

Nana58 - you sound just like me! After 4 years and 3 traumatic deaths - I am just sad and a misery. I would love to laugh! 🥰🥰

Happysexagenarian Fri 16-Apr-21 11:50:30

I mostly like who I am, at least I've learned to accept who I am over the years. I'm still quite shy, introvert, lazy and selfish. I like my own company so don't really go out of my way to make friends or maintain friendships. At school I wondered why I wasn't as popular as other girls, until one day a girl told me everyone thought I was rather superior and snobbish because I didn't go to birthday parties or hang out with other kids after school. It was simply that my mother wouldn't let me! She didn't want me to have friends or have them coming to our house as that would invade her private domain. She had very few friends herself. It's interesting how much our parents influence our characters throughout our lives, even after they are no longer with us. Some years ago I attended a school reunion. Hardly anybody remembered me! That just about said it all really.
I've never been a great mixer and always seemed to get on better with men than women, which some women seemed to be suspicious of! I think I am kind, considerate and caring. I try not to judge people. If I met me I think I would like me but probably not find me a very interesting person. But it's who I am and I'm not likely to change now. At least my husband and family love me and that's all matters to me.

Ramblingrose22 Fri 16-Apr-21 11:53:10

An interesting thread. I often struggle with this - especially during the past few months when one of my sisters has stopped talking to me, which continues.

From experience it's the inadequate people who tell you you're not good enough and it's because you disagree with them and they want to make you do what they want - as if their judgment is somehow superior or they know more than you.

I agree with others on here - it's all about accepting yourself. I try to use an affirmation like "I am good enough" when I start doubting myself. I find this helpful as it takes away any pressure to somehow be "perfect".

JaneJudge Fri 16-Apr-21 12:08:56

I try to be the best version of myself but often fail. I do like myself but I was abused by one of my parents (actually there was a thread on here yesterday and it honestly sounded like it was him confused ) and I always have that voice in my head telling me how terrible a person I am and it is recurring. I can't cope with people being overly critical of me, so I tend to stay away from conflict. I have realised recently though it is still holding me back and at my age it shouldn't be. That sounds a bit self indulgent. I wonder though if I spend a lot of time on my own because I am worried about rejection.

Granny23 Fri 16-Apr-21 12:18:56

Introspection is a curse. Having lived alone throughout the Pandemic, I seem to spoil every day with dark thoughts, regrets, procrastination and lack of motivation. People tell me to be kind to myself, but that is a concept I do not understand. It smacks to me as being selfish, putting my own wants and needs above those of others. So I carry on doing the best I can to appear cheerful and upbeat, self sufficient and coping fine. The family are very kind and supportive but have enough on their own plates without having to worry about me.

In short, I do not like me at all and being forced to live in my own company nearly all the time is boring, depressing, no fun at all.

Coconut Fri 16-Apr-21 12:40:00

It took me a long time but yes, I do like myself. After years with a domineering mum putting me down and 2 divorces, which I tried but failed to save .... I now focus on my many positives. My 3AC plus their partners and 5 GC, all tell me how amazing I am 😇...... I’ve about 6 life long friends, plus many new ones I’ve met along the way..... plus loads of my old staff are still in touch .... so I must be quite nice 🤣

CatterySlave1 Fri 16-Apr-21 12:43:18

Overall no I don’t really like myself but then I’ve never really worked out who I am. I’ve been a chameleon, blending in so as not to be noticed after an abusive childhood. I’ve spent years pretending to be confident in working life but it was always superficial and no one was allowed close. I’ve no close friends and few friends at all. I’m lucky to have been married for 36 years to a wonderful man who can see “me” when I can’t but even struggle with the idea I’m a good enough Mum, always focused on the negatives and never that they’ve actually all made it to adulthood (despite their own issues). In truth I don’t think I should have been a mum as I’d not dealt with the childhood issues and I had only made a recent, very late start when Covid stopped the specialist counselling services. One day I hope to feel better about myself and accept that I am a good enough person who tries her very best to be kind, generous and thoughtful to others. A work in progress so to speak

Craftycat Fri 16-Apr-21 12:50:16

Yes I do like myself. I try to be nice to everyone unless they are not nice to me. I am a Cancerian & we are supposed to keep in our shell like a crab & I do have a tendency to do this TBH. I do tend to ' go into my shell' if I feel upset.
I am an only child too & I think we learn to amuse ourselves early in life. I would do anything to help a friend in need but I am also very happy to be alone at times - in fact I need it.

hazel93 Fri 16-Apr-21 13:04:03

Well, pretty much I do.
My sons friends think I am like M as played by Judy Dench in the James Bond films
Make of that as you will !!