Noisy neighbours.

Albertina if everyone told potential buyers about their horrible neighbours no one would ever be able to move. You only have to reveal things that get 'official' and are in writing. You were lucky that your buyers didn't care. I feel so sad reading about these neighbours from hell spoiling life for others. Everyone has the right to 'the enjoyment of their home' and that's the LAW. We have been in such situations three times, but have been luckier in our present house. I would truly rather live in a caravan or even a tent in the middle of a field than experience it another time because I'm sure it would kill me if it ever happened again. OP you have my deepest sympathy. You could try explaining about the noise or could you get someone to mediate on your behalf? We tried this and didn't work. You may sadly have to think about moving if things don't improve. There was a couple on the news recently who were attacked by the neighbour because they complained, and the husband died. The neighbour broke in via the attic. This may because rare case, but be careful how you approach things because some people can be violent and psychotic too. Just speaking from experience. No one should live in fear of their nrighbours. If you do move, interview the potential new neighbours if you can.

Really sympathise. From the start you should keep a noise diary because if you put up with it for six months and then go to the council you will simply be asked to return to base and keep a noise diary - so start it now. If you have a smartphone then you can also make recordings of what you hear through the walls and frankly if there is loud screaming and children in the house there's a potential safeguarding issue. As for the garden, keep recording as well as videos of hot tub evenings late at night from your upstairs windows if that's possible. You might not be able to see them but you ill hear water swishing and glasses clinking. We have a near neighbour with a hot tub and it's noisy in the summer especially as they have five growing children and will often have adult friends around. But we have an agreement in our part of the road that if there's to be a noisy party in a garden, we do our neighbours the courtesy of telling them in advance and promising a deadline. Once in a while it's not a problem but if your neighbours do this as a matter of course and are not informed that this is something they should inform the neighbours about, they will feel enabled and then when you come to the end of your tether they will say 'well, you've been OK with it so far ...' and make you feel there's something wrong with you rather than the fact that they're being anti-social. When there's a lot of noise in a nearby garden I just do my usual thing and put my noise-cancelling headphones on but that's not a proper answer because then I can't hear the door bell or the landline ring. It's all about being considerate and really I think you and other neighbours need to tackle it before the summer arrives. If your ne neighbour can't be bothered to call and thank you for your welcome, you may find a problem on your hands.

It would be awful to have to move after all those years. I was wondering if you could get heavy duty sound proofing glazing on the windows to block sound. One of my daughters did this because of noisy neighbours and it really worked. You can’t hear a thing from outside now. Plus it keeps the heat in in Winter and the heat out in Summer. You would need really good stuff though, probably not cheap but still cheaper than having to move.

I have noisy neighbours too, but they know they are, and apologise for it. When they go on holiday they always tell me and add ‘so you’ll get a couple of weeks’ peace’’ Not much I can say!

I am amazed at how loud people speak outside. Sitting in the garden I can hear conversations from gardens a good 150 mtrs away. Children aren't spoken with, they are shouted at. The childminder next door shouts at the children from inside the house when they are at the bottom of the garden 80 feet away. It seems to be the modern way to communicate - just shout. My sympathy to you, take on board the suggestions given here, keep a record if what and when. Seek support from other neighbours and yes, you can record any noise that intrudes into your property.

You have my sympathy. Fifty years is such a long time to be happy in one place and such a shame to have it ruined.

I left my home of 25 years to move to be near my children. I was happy there until a madman moved in next door seven years ago. Seven years of misery which I won't go into.

I had to declare the issue to the new owners, but they didn't care thankfully. These days you have to report any problems with neighbours to potential buyers.

It's a risk moving later in life. No doubt about it. I am fortunate where I am now apart from the son next door learning the saxaphone very painfully.

The mother of the family is fairly deaf so the tv is loud, but they have now moved it to the other side of their lounge and it has made all the difference. I didn't have to mention anything, but I was planning to say something like this "My goodness the walls are thin for 1960s houses aren't they ! "

I wish you all the best. I made the jump at 70 and it took some settling but I have no regrets.

I might be tempted to actually mention something you’ve heard them arguing about, or even some music they’ve played.
When we married 40 years ago it was the first time my husband had lived in an attached house, his parents had a large detached house and were both quite deaf, he played music very loudly. I told him, having lived in a semi for most of my life, that it was too loud but he just didn’t realise. Our lovely neighbour very gently told him that whilst he had enjoyed our ‘Blondie’ and ‘dire straits’ albums their son couldn’t get to sleep.
I still fear annoying neighbours and constantly tell my husband and my brother not to play music too loudly in the garden during the summer. As a non drinker perhaps I notice the noise more or just don’t lose my inhibitions.

Back in the 80s I bought a first floor flat and the ground floor flat below mine was rented. The neighbour used to come home when the pubs shut. I'd hear his car radio as he drove in, then doors slamming, TV would go on and turned up to loud volume and I'd lie in bed listening to TV programmes I'd already seen earlier in the evening! One day, after being disturbed until about 3am the final straw came the next morning when the whole town was woken by an exercise at the RAF base nearby with sirens starting at 6am. After a day at work feeling like a zombie, that evening I put a note through the door explaining how the soundproofing was less than perfect and asking him to keep the noise down. I waited in trepidation as the car arrived, radio blared, doors slammed etc and he entered the flat. Then complete silence. I never met him and never heard him again! He clearly had no idea how noisy he had been.

I hope a polite note will work for you as it did for me. It was such a relief not to have to take things further and to go back to my previously peaceful existance. Thankfully all my other neighbours were fairly quiet and the flats were reasonably soundproofed with concrete floors etc as purpose built. Most were privately owned so my situation was different to most with a renting neighbour, so I was lucky he became much more considerate when it was pointed out.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Move! My friends bought a beautiful house at a very reasonable price. They now know why. They have the neighbours from hell. After complaining to landlord (property next door is rented) environmental health and even the fire brigade after a particularly large garden bonfire, they have had 3 months of misery as the tenants are now knocking on their door late at night and waking the children, playing loud music for a few minutes to wake the children and throwing dog mess over the fence and saying it must be from my friends dog. The house is going up for sale soon. Just move to somewhere you will be happy. It appears the law protects awful neighbours

I think Social Services might have more important things to deal with. My daughter had neighbours who called the SS because her daughter screams and shouts, throws tantrums and behaves really badly. We have been trying to get her help through the school and GP who agree there is a problem but the jury is out as to what is causing it. When the SS arrived, they could give you a raft of advice about not to do but no help at all about what to do. Every time I asked, "what should they be doing," I was met with a, "It's very difficult but you mustn't do that!" In the end, the school wrote to SS to tell them that their involvement was unhelpful, that the child's behaviour had deteriorated with removing all boundaries/consequences which made the child feel she could act as she pleased and that they were making life very difficult for 2 parents who were doing everything they could in difficult circumstances. The school, the parents and Enabling Families are still unpicking the damage.
We have just had 150 houses built behind us and the first few months was an eye opener with regards to the noise level from kids, parents and everybody who seemed to live there. However, as my son said, we probably seem loud when we have all the kids in the swimming pool or my autistic grandson has a meltdown. We decided to learn to live with it, rather than complaining.

Everyone's idea of noisy neighbours is different. Maybe it is because you have had 50 years of peace and quiet and now you have a lively family beside you who do not realise that they are living in "sleepy hollow" and the "rules". If they have bought the house then there is little you can do except try and make friends and welcome your new neighbours whose life is very different to yours. You probably are going to have a lively noisy Summer of children enjoying the outdoors, dogs barking and playing and fraught parents arguing, good luck.

I have to agree with infoman, if it annoys and upsets you after 1 month of having your idyll spoilt it almost certainly wont improve with time, having lived with a similar situation and much thought we had to move from our home of 20+ years as it was making us ill and your life stops being your own, but look around carefully at your new chosen neighbourhood before moving. I am so glad we made the decision to move. Hope you manage to sort it out x

Grannygrumps1

Are you just being fussy. Are they really that noisy. When I was a child my next door neighbour complained to my mother that I was noisy when I sat in the garden using a typewriter.

The OP has already described the noise. Screaming and shouting from the mother and children. Barking dogs, noisy hot tub sessions late at night. I think that’s a bit more than the tapping of a typewriter.

I've had zero luck reporting my nightmare neighbours ?
The noise abatement team weren't coming out at all.
They wrote to everyone in my block and the offending neighbours block. Because most of the flats are owned nobody wants to start a complaint they will have to declare at a later date.... so I'm stuck with the arguments, I have heard him hitting her (please don't tell me to call the police).
And now someone else in the block has a howling dog fgs!
Do these people rent or own?

I really feel for you. We have just moved for 2 reasons, one being we wanted to be nearer to family but the second was equally as important and that was the noisy neighbours and not just in the summer either! It seems there are so many ignorant people that think they can make as much noise as they like and it’s their right not to have to worry about anyone else. In our previous home we had on one side a stupid couple who played the radio constantly all day in the garden just the other side of the party wall, the other side had some sort of private hire business going from the house that the authorities don’t know about so a constant round of taxis sitting in our cul de sac plus their daughter and her kids in their hot tub screaming and playing most days which often set their dogs off barking and some man living next to them playing the drums (badly) with his bifold doors open.....lovely in the summer especially as you can imagine....not. So we’ve just moved to an over 55’s cottage and will see what this summer brings, it’s not perfect because it’s fairly near a busy road but I can most of the time tune that out at least, where children screaming, dogs barking, engines warming up and drums and radio’s which I particularly hate I just couldn’t do. My suggestion would be to keep a record of times, dates etc plus have a quiet word about the noise with them and if it doesn’t get better think about reporting them to the environment health or moving which is an upheaval but is worth it if it drives you mad. Good luck because I know how stressful it can be. Just a thought meanwhile a pair of ear defenders?

I live in a flat. When we first moved in they had almost nightly rows in the building next door (terrible/nonexistent sound-proofing) beginning after midnight (our cut off time for noise). I ended up banging on the wall with a metal knife every time they started up until they got the message and moved the row elsewhere. I never knew them by sight because their building has the front door on a different street.

A welcome visit or a card with either a note or a mention that you hope that they don't hear your tv/music or disturbed by the mower as it's amazing how noise travels in that area as it is so quiet since the lockdown! Hopefully they will get the hint. If it persists, you need to keep a diary and or make notes , possibly recordings before you make an official complaint but I think that after a while, the noise will not be as noticeable as you get used to it.
Believe me, we had a family with children move in after no children in the vicinity for years and at first their noise did seem intrusive but now, I hardly notice - even though the youngest has tantrums when he can't get his way with his older siblings!

When they row how about playing classical music with the volume turned up? That will tell them you can hear them without confronting them.

Poor you. This can be so awful and yes, it is difficult to know what to do. All of the above advice is good. I would be very tempted to move but don't know your circumstances.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/problems-where-you-live/complaining-about-your-neighbour/

Act sooner rather than allow any anger and resentment to build up. As others have said keep a diary and seek advice from the Council's environmental health team, but also do not allow their noise to become a preoccupation and try and maintain a sense of perspective. If you are feeling angry a note through their door may be better than risk a confrontation that may permanently damage your relationship with said neighbours. I have been on the otherside of a neighbour complaint (an unreasonable one of course!) so post this from that perspective.

I do feel for you. I also had that lived in my previous home for 25yrs. My neighbor split with his wife and had a break down. When he was in hospital he met someone and she moved in right away. Half his age she seemed nice. Did normal hello etc. Within weeks it started.Omg where do I start. She would scream when he hit her. I rang police many times but she told me to mind my own business. She would Hoover fun house at crazy times. She also played the piano yes a real full size one. Me and other neighbors faces when we saw it going into the house ? lets us say she didn’t hit all the keys correctly. Because she did during day we were told not much could do about it. She also liked her karaoke everyday she did that anytime of the day with or without a drink.Well only so much a person can take. So I moved out. After living with it for 3yrs. Now in a quiet area and they are still there driving neighbors crazy the ones that haven’t moved. So good luck with your neighbors.

Who suggested calling social services on here ? Whilst it’s obviously a nightmare situation , have you any idea what can of worms you would open if you get social services involved ? Honestly , try every tactic other than the official routes unless you think the children are in danger and that’s a different matter then .

In a moment of pique I wrote to my mp about the general problem of noise from neighbours especially since Covid seems to have highlighted the issues. He did not think that legislation was the way forward and instead suggested we explain how noise was impacting on the use and enjoyment of our garden in the summer. This seems to contrast very strongly with the German way of life where noise is very much not the way of life!