How upset would you be if someone said you were boring!

Alexa- I'm a natural blether but am also professionally qualified. I did this sort of thing as part of my work and was happy to continue it in retirement. Sadly my return to it will be deferred due to forthcoming hip replacement.

Aveline, I am so glad to know there are such facilitators and I hope there will be more in future so that a certain sort of loneliness will be addressed.It must take a high degree of skill and natural ability to do this job.

Yes, everything can be looked up these days.

I looked it up - The Young Ones.

Light hearted, does anyone know where this quote is from? Clue, depends on what you watched in the early eighties?

Queen...”The king is bored shitless with interesting things....and so am I.”

King...” What I want is to meet someone who is totally and utterly mind numbingly boring, but I suppose I never will.”

DS says DGC (14, 11) are already as excited about coming to visit us as they are when coming down to us at Christmas.

I used to run 'communication' groups and before lockdown had a voluntary job running 'tea parties' for people in long stay hospital to encourage chat and to give patients something more positive to talk to their visitors about than their illness. All ground to a halt due to Covid of course.

Conversation shops where people could meet others to take part in conversations led by someone who is very good at it and can encourage and lead. A novel use for high street premises in the future. There would have to be plenty of parking nearby for disabled transport and mobility scooters/

Urmston, is not 'mean' to raise an interesting point of view. Does anyone have the right not to be offended?

Urmstongran wrote: "I hate it when people want to recount the dream they had last night. Such a nonsense to have to listen to. Also if a friends says ‘have you read ....’ and if I say I haven’t then proceeds to tell me all about it in detail. Other people’s holidays/photos/hobbies/pets are fine - for about 5 minutes. Then ----?"

I agree. But it's not the topic that's boring. It is how the story is told that is boring.

Good talkers edit what they say according to how amusing or interesting it is for the listener, Good talkers use quality language when telling some anecdote, and do not suffer from verbal diarrhoea. Good talkers encourage the other person to say something amusing or interesting.

The skill of good conversation should be taught in schools. Perhaps it is?

Urmstongran
No need to apologise.
How do you think I look when I call them oxygen thieves ?

I’m afraid I sounded incredibly mean just then.
I’m tired after a bad night last night.

Callistemon
More than welcome ?
Urmstongran
I’ve just got rid of a ‘friend’ who could bore for the Olympics.
I’d would have loved her to mention a book ( she’s never read one)
A television programme ( she doesn’t watch any)
Her whole conversation is her previous life as a pub landlady, and yes, it was an interesting life but that’s all she spoke about.
I know that makes me sound mean but it was unbelievable relentless.

Just read my post.
Oh dear.
Perhaps I should just stay home as there’s not a lot else is there?
?

I hate it when people want to recount the dream they had last night. Such a nonsense to have to listen to. Also if a friends says ‘have you read ....’ and if I say I haven’t then proceeds to tell me all about it in detail. Other people’s holidays/photos/hobbies/pets are fine - for about 5 minutes. Then ?
And people who watch a lot of television and want to tell me all about last night’s programme in depth (which I consciously chose not to bother with!).
And a friend who bangs on about her pre-retirement job so much so I’ve started to be brave and say ‘oh yes, you did tell me about that’. (many times).

sluttygran

MerylStreep
Thanks for the invite- I'll be right with you, and I'll bring lots of cheap wine and hundreds of photos of my very superior DGC!

Can I tag along please?

I have a recipe for a very moreish champagne cocktail, champagne not required, Aldi's prosecco is just as good!

In such circumstances I set myself key words to try to get the bore to say. I award myself 10 points for every one. This makes me smile a bit and look interested so it can lead the bore to new heights of dullness.

MerylStreep
Thanks for the invite- I'll be right with you, and I'll bring lots of cheap wine and hundreds of photos of my very superior DGC!

Yes disco, we have the avoidance tactic too. My husband is hopeless at getting out of a boring conversation. I have been known to say “ well, as interesting as all this is, I’ve got a life to be getting on with!”. My husband would literally be stuck if I didn’t haul him out?

There are people we avoid because they only talk about themselves, but they are not family or close friends. My kids often finish sentences for me, adding....” yes mum, blah blah blah, you’ve told this story a million times!” Always lighthearted though. ?

What baffles me is why some bores are so difficult to get away from. They seem to have you rooted to the spot whilst they pontificate on without hesitation but with plenty of deviation and repetition. Afterwards I try to analyse why I couldn’t get away. Yes, I try to be polite but there is something more than this that holds you mesmerised with eyes glazing over.

Peasblossom, I understand now thanks. I'd not like to snub someone like you suggest, unless they were saying something really unkind and horrible. I'd rather be bored. Most people are boring anyway.

Sluttygran
I’d invite you to a party any day ?
Don’t worry about the cheap wine. Most people can’t tell the difference after a couple of ? anyway.

JaneJudge

Sluttygran sounds like the visiting couple in King Gary 'can you fetch me the nice crisps?'

I only like vegetable crisps but I'm not fussy, the Lidl ones are fine

Peasblossom, yes, I know many with a favourite, predictable topic of conversation. I make great efforts to chip in with something different, and ask lots of questions, to change things. I get the impression that it's not really a conversation at all. Rather, they are 'broadcasting' to an audience (any audience).

If I really can't face them, I'll make it clear that I have a meeting/appointment, so can only do a quick chat.

Once, I spotted a neighbour just like that approaching. Unable to face the long chat and delay, I crossed the road and turned a corner to avoid them. Unfortunately, I met, head on, another one!