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Would you go to a summer wedding this year?

(120 Posts)
LizM567 Tue 11-May-21 10:57:58

We have been invited to a summer wedding which will involve an evening "do" and dancing. We adore the happy couple but are not related to them. We are thrilled to have been invited but are nervous to go this year. What would you do?

Diane7 Sun 16-May-21 16:59:21

Definitely go, we have all been inside for far too long!

poshpaws Sun 16-May-21 16:59:33

I say, go if you've had both inoculations, and just be aware of your surroundings - if anybody crowds you just move away from them. If there isn't another lockdown then the scientists presumably reckon we're as safe as we're going to get meantime. So enjoy! After all, there may be a resurgence of the virus in the winter, and it would be good for you to have some fun and see lovely friends get married before being closed in again! If you do accept, I hope you have a wonderful time. wine

HillyN Sun 16-May-21 19:03:13

My niece is (hopefully) getting married at the end of June. It has already been postponed a year and she will be devastated if it has to be postponed again. We have accepted the invitation, made our food choices and booked accommodation. Now all we can do is keep everything crossed and pray hard that it will go ahead. For her sake we are all trying to be optimistic.
By the summer your nerves may have settled and you might regret not accepting the invitation. If you've been vaccinated, why not go? You can always excuse yourselves in the evening, or just find a quiet corner away from the melee to relax. From the bride's point of view it must be so stressful if invitations are refused.

alltheglitterglue Sun 16-May-21 19:25:22

With apologies for writing about myself, but please bear with me, I’ll get to it!

Although I am the right age I haven’t had my vaccinations yet because I need to have them done at a hospital (allergies). I wouldn’t go to a gathering until I have had my vaccinations.

Even if I had received the vaccine the new variants are a cause for concern and I am waiting to see how that all pans out. Again, I am adopting a ‘watchful waiting’ stance before I make decisions about travel and gatherings.

It sounds to me as though you are having doubts yourself. If, in normal circumstances, you would be keen to go I would suggest that you say you will go, but be mindful of Covid-related developments.

My one caveat is this: trust your gut, your intuition. If you don’t want to go send your love and best wishes and decline. In your shoes, if I didn’t go I would put some of the money that we would have spent on clothing or travel towards a nicer, carefully chosen gift.

Good luck and stay well thanks

Lulu16 Sun 16-May-21 19:32:49

I am going to one in June. My son and his partner had to cancel their wedding TWICE due to lockdowns, so hopefully it will be third time lucky.
Enjoy your wedding!

Cynnybobbooboo66 Sun 16-May-21 19:33:58

If I were you I would go and have a wonderful time. I've a feeling the number of guests will still be restricted so you won't need to worry about over crowding at the reception. It's time now for us to all move on and get our lives back.

GrauntyHelen Sun 16-May-21 19:50:55

If it was a family member I would go otherwise no

TiggyW Sun 16-May-21 20:56:49

Our niece is getting married in August, after two postponements. ? We’re planning to go, as long as nothing drastic happens, like a spread of the variant from Bolton (not far from us). We’ve both had two vaccines, but I’ll be keeping my distance and certainly not hugging anyone. smile

Elvis58 Sun 16-May-21 22:03:45

Go! life is too short to be sitting at home fretting.

Lilikemaho Sun 16-May-21 22:10:12

Totally agree with you the couple are nice enough to invite you at least give them the respect to tell them yes or no not make up your mind at the last minute and I see no problem going anyway just be careful

GrannyRose15 Mon 17-May-21 02:15:57

My DH and I are very much looking forward to going to a family wedding in July. It will be a chance to see all of one side of the family in better circumstances than the last time we met - at a very restricted funeral.

We do really all need to start living again. At our age we can't put life on hold for much longer.

GrannyRose15 Mon 17-May-21 02:16:58

And I'll be hugging everyone that wants to be hugged.

Speldnan Mon 17-May-21 07:34:13

I hate weddings anyway- even my own family’s so any excuse not to go!? but seriously, wouldn’t made a decision until nearer the time, might even be back in lockdown by then with this new variant spreading.

LMW1 Mon 17-May-21 13:18:35

Yes to my youngest Daughters wedding in June..... Can't wait. sunshine

Okdokey08 Mon 17-May-21 18:55:40

No one can advise you, as this is something that has affected people differently. You need to make a decision based on how you are going to go forward in life. Are you going to decline all invitations as apparently this virus is something we are going to have to live with. There is no right or wrong answer, but there is a “right or wrong” time to answer. So I would say, make the decision that sits well with you, stick to it and either go, or send a gift and decline, so that this young couple can have as many people share their happy day, who are happy to do so. This is not about being hypocritical as “Bridgeit” mentioned, and it’s been a long standing tradition, it’s based on the young couples “ finances” and what they can afford, absolutely nothing to do with being on a reserve list. While its great if everyone who you can afford to invite can accept, it’s no disgrace to be on a reserve list.... rather that than not on the list at all. If you go, I hope you relax and enjoy yourself, if you don’t, I wish the same.

Craftycat Tue 18-May-21 11:10:49

Go & enjoy yourselves. Not often you get an invitation to a wedding so enjoy it!

LizM567 Tue 18-May-21 18:20:41

Thank you all very much for your advice - you have given us plenty to think about. In the end we decided to decline their very kind invitation but have invited them here after the wedding when we plan to spoil them with the best of everything (food and drink wise), to see their photos and hear how the day went. We have also arranged to pay for their honeymoon bar bill.

grant1 Wed 19-May-21 16:50:43

Same dilemma here (I'm in the US so still dealing with far less vaccinated population here and much disbelief in germs, science and covid in general). That being said, I am being invited to a Fall wedding here and am looking forward to seeing other people, celebrating a happy event (that has been put off repeatedly to defer to covid rules and safety). I'm fully vaccinated and have not yet gone out in public or to work (I still work full time) maskless so I'm not sure how I'll feel about not wearing a mask at the time but I'm planning on going to the wedding and enjoying it with all the other guests that will be there. Even if I do wear a mask while there. It would be too easy to live in fear of covid forever, now that we've adjusted to staying home alone all the time and wearing a mask the rest of the time. It's time to take baby steps towards returning to some sort of normal, "interactive with other humans" sort of life, don't you think? And yes, I have lost family members to covid. So I don't take the threat of it lightly or dismiss it as media hype as some (too many) in the USA do. Go and enjoy!

grant1 Wed 19-May-21 16:58:23

@LizM567
Sorry I just read your update after I posted my response. Ooops! Your solution seems like a wonderful compromise and a beautiful way to celebrate the new couple and spend some time with them in a way that you all feel safe and comfortable. Your gift is very generous and they are lucky to have you in their lives. Enjoy your visit with them and congrats to the new couple. Hope you have many more events to celebrate together in the years to come.