Are you having the life you envisaged?

Would rather I’d not been an alcoholic but managed to climb out of that....... married and divorced twice been on my own now for nearly 30 years, I do date occasionally but I’m quite happy with my own company.I have my son and his girlfriend living upstairs in my house so if I want company I’ve got it but I’m quite happy as I am really... I don’t think marriage is for everybody and it definitely is not for me.... have about four really good friends and lots of acquaintances, all in all not too bad...(by the way I don’t live in a huge house, I converted my dining room into a bedroom for me so my son and his girlfriend have got a bedroom and sitting room upstairs and we share kitchen and bathroom, works well for us)

I'm another person who didn't envisage much beyond a career, marriage and hopefully children and that worked out well.
Then I had a few years lurching from crisis to crisis. Both parents developed dementia, my husband became terminally ill and my eldest teenage son completely lost the plot. I nursed my husband until he died leaving me widowed at 50. Then to crown it all my daughter was critically injured abroad and in hospital for months. On our return home my father died.
I sold my parents house, nursed my daughter back to health and returned to work.
After retirement and my mother's death I emigrated to the NW Pacific coast where my daughter and family live ( I think I ran away from those memories to start over). My troublesome son evenually turned into a lovely man and I enjoy a good relationship with my children, son-in-law and GCs . I feel very fortunate to live here. I have my own place and enjoy my independence. I don't envisage what the future will hold. I live in the moment and hope for the best. Wishing you all happy times ahead.

No , am a full time carer for a 95 yr old mother with dementia, and a husband with Alzheimer’s. Always envisaged my 60’s as a time of freedom and travel- no such luck.

No. Not at all.

No it's better,

Never honestly gave it any thought - met my husband at 18, married at 19, no children (by choice). Moved around England a few times - now settled in the South, and my husband is disabled. We did lots in our younger years though - went on working holidays to The Netherlands three times in our 20s (absolutely fantastic lol but I won't go into details) lived in Lancashire, Kent, London and Bristol - some of them more than once. We enjoyed our youth and are now happy enough in middle age - despite my husband's ill health. My motto is no regrets, no complaints and no apologies!

I feel sorry to read some peoples responses.We worked hard all our lives took early retirement upped sticks and retired to North Yorkshire.Have children, grandchildren who when covid restrictions allow.Friends who visit and new friends in the villahmge we moved too.
Invested in a caravan and am writing this in beautiful Northumberland first holiday here.Have 5 more holidays booked covid permitting.We have never been happier and are loving our new life.So most definately Yes life is what we planned!

I sometimes feel like that as well

No, I live alone just bought a puppy for company, have 4 children they are wrapped up in their own live’s(fair enough)no friends as I do not live locally to where I was born. But all in all I consider myself very fortunate. But no I never envisaged my life turning out like this.

I can't say i ever envisaged a life when i was younger. I just got on with what ever happened at the time. I do wish my parents although loving and did their best for us, where more worldly wise. They just drifted through life never really aspiring to much in their personnel life or jobs. Its only now that i am older i can see all the missed opportunities and mistakes i made and my life right now is not what i would have wanted.

Had a happy life with a good husband and two children. Had my own career as a teacher so that fitted in with our own children. Some new hobbies and made some good friends in retirement. Three years ago DH had health issues and sadly died this year after 55years of happy married life. So now on my own and life just isn’t what it was . Having support from AC and AGC and friends / Fairly good health myself so I’ve a lot to be thankful for.

Not really, another country which have enjoyed but get very homesick these days and wish I could go back to the UK and live my twilight years there.

Just reading posts again and so very sorry Cwm33 to read your partner has only 6 months to live. Am thinking of you.

My life didn't turn out as I planned. Expected to get married and have a family, bought a house with husband that would have been ideal for little ones with massive garden. Yes married, but husband didn't want any children. Do wish he had made it clearer before we wed and I innocently thought everyone had a family after marrige. Ended up in ideal house and garden on my own (wife being the last to know) So life didn't turn out as I thought at all. Often felt he wasn't fair to me about the children side of the marriage when I have looked back. But after some years did meet someone else and we live in the same house. But there are worse things than not having children and 2nd husbands adult children have been great with me and I am Grandma to their children.

Just pleased I still have a life. I survived a life threatening cancer five years ago so I feel blessed every day I wake up.

We met at 18, married at 23....51 years, two DC who say they had a wonderful childhood. We've supported them through independent schools and university and both have well paid professional jobs. It has been a sacrifice worth paying. My DC are my life. I sound complacent but of course we've had our ups and downs like all couples. Am I happy, yes, contented because my DC have secure futures. Both happily married with children.
We are financially secure now they've flown the coop. Health worries come with old age but to be expected. I plan to live to be 100 so I can see my darling GC grow and flourish.

No, and I wish I could let go of the bitterness and anger I feel. Choosing the wrong partner at the age of nineteen ended a promising future . Years of abuse kept me trapped. Motherhood, and now grandmotherhood, crushed my dreams of freedom after divorce. I think I’ll be relieved when it’s all over. What a waste of a life!

Life is full of ups and downs.My husband had a stroke in his forties and that was over 20 years ago.I am full time carer to him and some days I could just run away and never come back!

No, not as envisaged at all, 2 divorces (cheating ex's), disabled child. I really didn't think I'd still be paying a mortgage at 60 and be nearly 67 before I can get my state/work place pension. Some appalling relatives who have not behaved well. With hindsight I should have made different choices, but never regretted my 3 children and the many sacrifices I've made for them.

I thank God every day for the life I have with my husband. We are in our seventies and my greatest fear is that something will happen to one of us leaving the other behind. I am grateful for my children and grandchildren. I am grateful for my friends.

I never had a plan or vision for my life. I went from grammar school to university to marriage and motherhood in the space of six years. "Housewife" was a designated occupation in the 1960s and that's what I became. I never had a career - just odds and ends of part-time jobs. Throughout the 1960s-90s DH was moved around the country with his job and we've lived all over the UK. Anytime I started a course or training I had to give it up to move again. When I got to retirement age I was entitled to just a portion of a state pension, having paid only reduced rate "married woman's stamp" in the few years I worked.
I regret the lack of a career, a pension and financial independence, and the many years of boredom and upheaval, but at the time I saw no alternative. Despite these regrets, I look back on a good life and feel very fortunate. I'm blessed with good health (for my age), a loving DH and two wonderful daughters and grandsons. When I graduated in 1965 I could never have envisaged the course my life would take.

After being bombed out twice and machine gunned twice and living through 57 days and nights when being bombed continually during the London Blitz I consider myself a VERY lucky person to still be here to relate any tales of those far off years to those who contact me from worldwide.
Life is what you make it and I can honestly say that I would NOT have had mine any other way especially when marrying my lovely hubby who is no longer with me.
At the age of 91 its good to still see the funny side of life.

Some sad stories here, and I am sorry some of you have been having a hard time.

I have been very lucky- many things have gone badly wrong in the past, but I have always found a way to turn them round to end up being positive and a platform for going forwards. And have been very lucky too in finding an amazing man to share my life with, golden anniversary tomorrow.

Recently, two events which I cannot influence in any way, shape or form- have turned my life upside down- but again, I feel strong enough to make the best of it and keep going forwards. I was born with a strong, positive outlook on life- and I had fantastic parents, and a mother who was way before her time and a great role model.

Hope all of you will find the strength and support you need and will find peace.

No, I thought I would live and die in my home town, never marry or have kids. I married a man who'd moved all his life and we followed suit, living in only 2 counties but so many addresses I forget...We had 2 children, but I regret having them so young and close together. It was only this week I realised that I can pay for something now and not worry about the bank. I now have a gorgeous grandchild I spoil to death, and am disabled so stay home - but most definitely not the life I thought I'd have x

No I am not, but I’m many ways much better. I am free and do what I would like and how I like. I take better care of myself. I have found - me.