Should we tell our granddaughter when our dog is to be PTS?

Thanks for all your good wishes and thoughts.

Hoping things went peacefully Luckylegs. It's an awful decision to have to make. A bit like that of euthanasia.
And I don't think you can expect children to understand that.
So there has to be a bit of obfuscation.

I believe in being honest with children. If the much loved dog lived with your GD she would know how incapacitated she'd become, so why not just explain this to her and give her the choice of being there? Over the years we have had numerous cats, dogs and horses PTS. It is always sad, we always cry but we always get over it. We always bury cats and dogs at home but we don't make a shrine. My daughters have always been included and given the choice of being present or not. Actually they have always preferred it to happen when they are at school and I am the designated person to be present but I like my pets to know I am there at the end for them. the death of a loved pet is not a trauma, it is a part of life.

Luckylegs. There’s a condition called Chiari-Malformation and Syringomyelia which some King Charles Spanials are prone to. As it’s a rare condition it’s possible that your vet may not even be aware of it. I think Lottie may have it. Google it up.

now y`all have me crying... thanks for the story of the Rainbow Bridge MawB... I have only heard of that from American friends... never knew the story though.
and no , we never forget a single beloved pet..

my beloved Sheltie died 5 years ago, and still...... too old to have another dog, but I have my cat..

If it was me, I would tell her that the poor doggy passed away in her sleep and has now been taken to the vet to be cremated. Are you getting her ashes? You can have a special little burial of her ashes with your GD or keep the ashes in a special box.

As your granddaughter knows that the dog is very I'll I think it best to just tell her that the dig died in its sleep. I think she will accept this more easily. Hugs for you x

So very sad for you all, but you need to explain to your GD just what you have told us, otherwise, how will you explain it the next time she visits that someone is missing?

I do think that you should say goodbye to your little dog sooner than lT

The animal's welfare comes first, in my view. Your husband is quite right not to allow your GD to be present when the deed is done. Sometimes it is distressing as the animal can pee reflexively or struggle to be held when the needle goes in. As for warning, we told my grandson, then 5, that his cat was very poorly and was going to the animal hospital. My daughter told him that, sadly, she passed away peacefully while she was there. He accepted that, didn't cry, but told everyone for a week that it was very sad, but Mindy died because she was very poorly and very old. Six months on, he sometimes refers to her.

I have a little dog I love dearly so I understand how heartbreaking this is, and offer my sincere condolences.
My thoughts are to just get your little dog pts as soon as possible without guven advance notice to gd as this will only prolong the agony of loss.

This is so hard. We had our dog pts 3 weeks ago, aged 15.5. She was very fit until just 5 weeks before that, when she started to lose her appetite and started to lose weight. We took her to the vet for a full set of tests, thinking she might be diabetic- but no- it was her kidneys that were failing.

Our grandchildre absolutely love her to bits, as our DIL refuses to have any pet- for which the grandchildren have been begging since they were very young. DIL promised they could have a cat when they moved house 2 years ago- but then changed her mind and made excuses about 'so-called' allergies.

So our cat and dog have been the best thing for them- and they consider them their pets and absolutely love spending time with them, cuddling, talking, playing, walks. They are a bit older though. When the time came, we told our son (who would also love to have a cat and a dog)- to break it to them gently. Their friendship and love for the dog deserved that they were told and approved the decision themselves- and were 'part' of the whole process- albeit by distance as we still have not been allowed to meet.

I think it is best to tell them, and make them understand and go through the grieving process. I feel for you- as it is so hard.

What would your GD do if the dog did actually die when asleep? Making such an event of the dog being pts is perhaps adding to the emotions. You say GD visits every day, can you not just suggest you have noticed a difference and you feel Lottie is getting weaker, this could give your GD a bit of a warning that something may happen. I have had to put two dogs and two cats to sleep and the children all knew the animals were sick and likely to die. Can you have the dog cremated and have a little ceremony burning the casket or ashes with your GD in memory of the dog. It's always sad when a pet is ill and unlikely to lead animal life.

Be guided by the parents of your Grandaughter. They are the ones who will have to deal with the majority of the fall-out. I don't think there should be any lies about what is happening. I always think if you can lie about the big things, you won't worry about lying about the little things so I could never trust you. The truth may hurt for a while but lies damage forever.
I am sorry you are going through this. I have made up my mind that when our dog starts to suffer he will be PTS. I once left it too long for a dog and I found that was my biggest regret. I don't want to lose my dog but I love him too much for him to suffer when I can't explain to him what is happening and the process of euthanasia used for animals is very peaceful. It is certainly more humane than the Liverpool Pathway for humans!

Nightsky2

Luckylegs. There’s a condition called Chiari-Malformation and Syringomyelia which some King Charles Spanials are prone to. As it’s a rare condition it’s possible that your vet may not even be aware of it. I think Lottie may have it. Google it up.

Night sky. Is that treatable? The little rescue spaniels I met whilst walking were all on medication that was keeping their condition under control.

Whoops pressed post by mistake! I do think you should say goodbye to your little dog sooner rather than later for his sake. Why not tell your GD that he was suddenly taken ill and you rushed him to the vet's but he died when you got there. Tell her her just curled up on your lap, gave you a last lick and closed his eyes. She will be comforted by the fact that he went gently and that the vet didn't have to do the deed. She is perhaps a bit old for the rainbow bridge. When my 3 year old GD's cat died I made her a story book about him going to the rainbow bridge using photos of him. Maybe your GD could make her own book of memories using some photos.

So very sorry. This is always a tough one.
There is a lovely book by Hans Wilhelm called
"I'll Always Love You"
It's just a wonderfully gentle story that deals with aging in our pets. Really worth giving her.

Of course you should tell her! My parents got my dog PTS when I was 11 and told me it had "gone off to live on a farm" (we were between houses and they could no longer afford the boarding fees). My Mum only told me the truth when I was in my 30's and I was VERY cross. 11 is old enough. And, yes, she will get upset - that's just normal and she should be allowed to grieve the loss of her furry friend.

Just a quick thought. A neighbour had a terrier whose back legs went and she got one of those dog carts for her (so that the dog was strapped into it and her back legs were held up). The little dog whizzed around for another 2 years! Sorry - you may not want to consider this, but just in case you want to exhaust all other options.

DO NOT LIE! It's the circle of life. If not dealt with properly it can confuse and distress young people. Yes it's sad, but it will be sad for her however you tell her! Maybe in time to come she will learn to understand how we can ease distress in animals by this humane act of PTS. Explain that the vet has asked for only you to be in attendance to ensure the least distress possible . Treat her as the mature young person she is
I hope that all goes as well as it can for you all.

Your GD needs today her goodbyes to Lottie.
A few years ago, I got up one morning and said to my husband that it was the day to to take our well loved 15 year old Yorkie to be PTS, he was deaf, blind, double incontinent and very ill.
We went to the vet in the afternoon. My then 23 year old son came home from work to find Fritz had gone and had an absolute meltdown, as we hadn’t told him and he hadn’t said goodbye. ( Fritz had been bought as a 12 week old puppy for him and his sister by my parents to help them cope with their dad dying)
It won’t be easy and there’ll be tears, but she needs to know.

The week my dog started wetting her bed and seemed just really weary I knew it was time. I got up one morning made the decision, took her to the vets who said her heart was giving up so I let her go. I was in 51yrs old and couldn't cope watching it happening, I adored her.
I've had to get every dog I've ever had PTS because of illness and always wished they had went in their sleep rather than having to make the decision to do it. I think I would of found the grief a little easier and I think your GD might too, rather than watching needles being administered, finding veins, etc which happened to my dog. Just falling asleep in her bed seems a nicer way to go so I'd let your GD just think that. My heart goes out to you all

I wouldn't tell anyone beforehand, if she's going to be told wait till after. The whole situation is much more stressful if she feels she can argue or beg for the dog to be spared than simply dealing with her sorrow after the event.

The dog's welfare must come first. I've faced this many times in over 40 years of owning dogs. It never gets any easier but there comes a point when it is an act of kindness.
There's a lovely picture book (I think it's still available) called "Heaven" by Nicholas Allan. Dill the dog prepares to go to heaven. He and his young owner Lily talk about what they they think heaven is like (funfairs and chocolate for Lily, bones and lampposts for Dill). Lily is sad to say goodbye to Dill but in time she gets another puppy and makes sure he gets to enjoy all the things that Dill told her about. Dill looks down from heaven and thinks that the new puppy "must think he's in heaven already". I've given the book to lots of people (adults and children). It's a lovely book for anyone who has lost a beloved pet. I think the important thing is to be honest with your GD so you can both remember your dog and talk about the happy times with her.

I am assuming, given that the dog is 9 years old and you got it for your granddaughter, that said granddaughter is over 9. If so she is old enough to be able to deal with the need to put the dog to sleep. Our children were always told if this needed to be done, there is no point in lying about it or making up stories. Tell the child what is happening and let her say goodbye to the dog. If she wants to come with you she should be allowed.