Growing up without going to shops

We lived abroad so my brothers and I did not experience shops until we were 7 and 9, when we got into trouble for helping ourselves to the treasures in Woolworth’s!

Yes, I did, appalling wasn't it? Thankfully, I stopped using Amazon when it was revealed how little tax they pay.

I think it is a nasty unethical company with poor labour practices.

Did you see the news yesterday about the massive waste and destruction done by Amazon. Tons of perfectly good stuff, some very expensive and pollluting, being crushed and sent to landfill here or in other countries. Truly shocking.

Well I for one hope we don't go to a totally cashless model. My grandson with learning difficulties and other co-morbidities would be hopeless with just plastic. Give him cash and he can even cope with saving his pocket money for a week or two for a bigger item, he'd never make the connection with a card. When I had my first credit card I more than once nearly walked away without picking up my purchase because it didn't feel like you'd spent anything!

I was spared going shopping with my mum for general groceries as my Grandad ran a small off-licence and corner shop. When we were small we went by bus to his house for tea every Friday. Mum would get her weekly groceries there and then Grandad drove us and the shopping home. This continued until I went to grammar school, then we stopped going for tea but Grandad still delivered the groceries on Friday night after mum phoned her order through, She went shopping to the butcher and greengrocer without us and my dad went to the market every Saturday to get most of the fruit and veg for the week. I was sent to the local corner shop from a very young age for anything that was needed in between, including fresh bread. I also went there for one of our neighbours who 'paid' for my services with ornaments - I was allowed to choose one each time.

I remember being taken to Manchester, our nearest city, to buy new clothes twice a year, once in Spring for Summer clothes and again in Autumn for Winter clothes. That would be just me and mum and would include lunch in one of the big department stores. I'm not sure what happened to my brother on those days - maybe he went to Grandad's for the day as I think his clothes could all be bought at M&S! Nowadays with all the chain stores, that wouldn't be necessary as there would be plenty things available on most local high streets, but things were very limited back in the 1950s and 1960s!

When my children were small I tried to do as much of my shopping without them, either when they were at playgroup or later at school. I don't think they considered going shopping a pleasure and I found it much easier to do without them in tow.

I guess the world is changiing and it's hard to know how much is for the better and how much is worse. My experiences were very different from my children's and so will our grandchildren's be different too.

i always thought i was odd because i did not like shopping, i stay in an area that has 10 charity shops within a 20 min walk, my mum used to come to mine just for the charity shops, before covid i went out for food shopping twice a week as i am on my own i never needed to get much, since covid i have been online shopping the only problem with that is i like fresh fruit and veg and it does not keep very long. i shop for clothes only when i need to and prefer online. i noticed a few year ago that my son never carries any cash....not even a pound for the trolley, everything is done using his phone, petrol, food clothes even bus or train fares. i am 57 and have accepted that this is how it is going to be.

My daughter sometimes lets her 3 children (age 10, 5 and 5) do the weekly shop in the supermarket, giving them a list and a budget to work to. She's there to pay at the till, obviously. The oldest one keeps a tally of the spend on a calculator and it taught them so much about the cost of food etc. She also lets them plan the weekly meal schedule from time to time, making sure that cover a balanced and healthy range of meals within the budget she sets. Great life skills, and the kids seem to enjoy the whole experience.

We moved to a small village when I was quite young and rarely went to any shops. My uncle was a grocer in Norwich and had a delivery round. Mum phoned an order in once a week (most people did this from the phone box, but we had our own line!) and he delivered it on Saturday afternoons. The fish van and bakers van came once a week too and of course the milkman every day. Then there was the Betterware man and the Avon lady. The knife sharpener on his special bike once every six months or so. Even a French onion seller once a year. Clothes were mostly ordered from the catalogue and returns posted back from the local post office free of charge. The only thing we went shopping for was shoes which mum insisted should be fitted. Every six months or so there would be an excursion into the city for them and anything else we could get delivered. Early November was the big treat. A whole day in the city for winter shoes and Christmas presents! Home shopping isn't a new phenomenon, it's been around ever since the carriers cart.

Parsley3

It occurred to me that my grandchildren won’t know how to use money, coins and notes that is, as I usually pay with a card. In fact at the moment I don’t have a single note in my purse. I need to think of a new way of handing over pocket money.

Parsley3
Some of our GC have 'Go Henry' accounts set up by their parents.
https://www.gohenry.com/uk/
Money can be paid into their accounts by grandparents and friends etc. (previously approved by their parents) and they they can spend it how they wish. Their parents can also monitor what is being sent to them and how they spend it. You can also specify exactly when they receive the money such as on a birthday or a week before. And I think regular payments can be set up for weekly pocket money etc.
Might be worth exploring.

Carolpaint

If you never go to the shops, where do you get new ideas from. Do people just eat the same meals every week? I physically shop each week, Waitrose and Morrison’s always have good stuff for those of us that cook. Our local market has the most delicious range of fruit, veg, and herbs. My daughter’s four children all accompany her, individually, shopping and are adept at picking out the best value to buy - good for mental arithmetic and appraising produces quality. Social skills are honed, so is the ability to spot and bargain. Son earns fabulous money by using market place skills at an international level. There is far more to shopping than first percdived.

I shop online at waitrose and ocado. Both of them have "new in", "seasonal" and "recipe suggestions" You don't need to shop to practice social skills or bargain hunt....and I don't think the staff in waitrose (ort my local market come to that) would be too keen on dickering prices with children...or adults for that matter!
I get that we are all different and like to do things in different ways but please don't run away with the idea that the only way is your way

There are sales, special offers and many more places to look for good buys online, but as always, it is a matter of personal choice. A free for all fight to rummage through looking for bargains just wouldn't suit me now, but I did it sometimes when I was younger and fitter.

I also shop almost exclusively online for home delivery, not just this past year but before the pandemic too, because of health issues traipsing from one High Street shop to another was a nightmare for me. But I agree that many youngsters are missing out on learning valuable skills by not shopping in person. Not only budgeting and money handling, how to compare prices and quality and find a bargain, but also how to behave in shops, interact with other shoppers and shop staff patiently and politely. I am sometimes appalled at the bad manners of adults in shops. Our GC all go shopping with their parents (and the older ones on their own), and sometimes with us when they visit.

As a child I was usually taken shopping simply to help carry the bags home. But I enjoyed it especially if we went to a market, and I still love markets.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

As my friend says internet shopping is fraught with disappointment.
I cant help thinking that once the high street is empty and we can only internet shop they will start charging for things to be returned.
I for one refuse to shop online and will support local independent shops to the bitter end!

When I was a child there were no home fridges or freezers so shopping for food was daily and when small the children had to be taken shopping daily. Even in the 1940s this was the same with my children when they were small, But when they were older they preferred to be playing with their friends.
A few years ago when I was able to go to town for my weekly shopping I could not understand why on a nice sunny day the town was full of screaming kids at half term when the local park was empty.

I forgot! You can also role play at home with games that mimic real money- buying, paying, change, etc

As a child I was taken to the Co-op a almost every day as we had no fridge until I was about nine or ten. I'd wait outside the greengrocer, the elderly (it seemed to me) man behind the counter would come out, say hello and pinch my cheek which I found excruciating in more ways than one. He'd sometimes give me a few pennies - that probably doesn't happen these days.

At around 8 or 9 years my sister and I would do a small grocery shop each Saturday morning for grandma who lived round the corner which gave us a chance to deal with handling change.

I'm not sure we particularly enjoyed either of these but we just did them as we were expected to help. Note - our brothers rarely had to lift a finger - when we mentioned this it was 'because they were boys' which we felt was unfair.

I should add I have always, and still do, grow most of my own vegetables.

I was married in 1965 and for many years had a regular order, from a small shop, delivered every Friday. During the week the milkman called daily, a fish man came round in a van as did a grocer. There was no need to go to a shop. I still don't shop unless necessary though my late husband loved shopping, Possibly because I never ordered "treats"

Lizzy

Yes, I am teaching my kids right now, thanks for asking.

Like doodledog said, the tendency is to move towards electronic payment methods, not cash.

If we are moving towards a cashless society (which has implications far beyond sticking with familiar transactional behaviour) then why do children need to be taught how to handle money using cash?

Schools are supposed to prepare children for life after they leave, so why teach them something that will probably be obsolete by the time they are adults?

They could learn to budget by 'ordering' items from a supermarket website, or older ones could be taught to manage a salary, factoring in bills, interest rates etc, and learn to prioritise payments and to differentiate between wants and needs. More useful in the long run than swapping plastic coins for plastic vegetables, when the chances are they will not grow up to do this for real.

Hithere I'm guessing you haven't experienced the frustration of trying to teach young children about money! It's part of the maths curriculum but it's just not real for children who never handle actual money and never see it change hands. A child in my class lost his first tooth and proudly told me that the tooth fairy left him a two pound note. When I gently pointed out that such a thing doesn't exist he said, "Oh! Silly me! It was a twenty pound note!" At least he'd learned about the existence of numbers... ?

I never took my children to the shops. I have always hated shopping so I didn't want to inflict the misery on them. I shan't be taking my grandchildren either. As for buses, my youngest daughter would endlessly ask if we could go on a bus. So in the end I gave in. She was so excited. Agreeing to go upstairs she ran up, slipped, shaved all the skin off her shin. Big fat tears ran down her face but she sat at the front of that bus and didn't say a word about her nasty injury. She never asked to go on a bus again though.

nanna8

It is different here. Most people still actually go to the shops, usually at the weekend if they are working during the week. You can get deliveries but priority is given to older people and people with disabilities. I had one delivery during our isolation period after returning from overseas. Half the stuff was missing and I wasn’t too impressed with the rest so, never again!

I’ve been using Ocado recently and could get next day delivery (I am neither elderly or disabled) if I wanted it (which I didn’t) and have never had any missing items. I think you may be referring to early lockdown days but it is entirely different now. I worked in food retail until 3 months ago and it has all changed from a year+ ago.

If you never go to the shops, where do you get new ideas from. Do people just eat the same meals every week? I physically shop each week, Waitrose and Morrison’s always have good stuff for those of us that cook. Our local market has the most delicious range of fruit, veg, and herbs. My daughter’s four children all accompany her, individually, shopping and are adept at picking out the best value to buy - good for mental arithmetic and appraising produces quality. Social skills are honed, so is the ability to spot and bargain. Son earns fabulous money by using market place skills at an international level. There is far more to shopping than first percdived.