Coping with twins

You’ll quickly learn to cope just as the parents will. My mother had twins of just 18 months old when I was born, in war time, with my father away fighting. A cousin had two babies in 11 months. We all survived.

Shelflife

ayse, I think the school has been very wise . Different classes is a good idea, ensures there is not constant comparison and each twin can forge their individual characters. In my day teachers were not so thoughtful!

My DD and their father visited the school before they started. The school policy was to separate the girls in the first instance. It was the best thing they could have done. They have their own friends but more importantly IMO they are not competing against each other on a day to day basis. After school they play very well together and cooperate. It’s really helped for them to be treated as individuals.

My DDs twins have never been dressed identically and we’ve encouraged them to be themselves. Differences in personality shows up quite quickly. These twins a fraternal not identical.

My DDs friend had identical twins. They were both quiet and well-behaved.

When the arrive just go with the flow.?

Congratulatiions, two in one go is really twice as nice. Need to contact TWINS TRUST. www.twinstrust.org. Used to be called 'TAMBA'(twins and Multiple Births Association). A charity run entirely by parents of twins and more. Most areas have a local branch so parents can meet up with other parents, chat, exchange clothes, toys and ideas. Many branches often have sections for g.parents to meet other similar.

I was priviledged to be one of the original founders of this wonderful organisation back in the 1970's. My identical girl twins had three older siblings (all under 6 years of age at the time). It as during this pregnancy that hubbie had his medcial problems diagnosed as MS and became quite disabled with this very quickly.

Breastfeed is best if possible,, not just for the babies, but also a great time-saver. There is some wonderful equipment out there these days for transporting two babies (much of this has been driven by TAMBA members over the years).

Always treat each child individually, no birthday cards to THE TWINS, etc. No dressing the same. Relax and enjoy and think how lucky you all are.

My girls are now in their late forties, both have excellent careers, one has two daughters of her own, the other just one. They remain the very best of friends and live within half an hour drive of each other. Fortunately, their hubbies also get on well together.

I'm an unidentical twin - my sister and I are like chalk and cheese. One thing I will say is not to expect them to be like two peas in a pod and encourage them to have their own personalities. Never say to one, "Why aren't you more like your sister?" Often there's a louder twin and a quieter one and as is the way - the louder one is listened to while the quieter one has to make an extra effort and is sometimes still ignored. This can cause resentment.

We were put in identical clothes and the same hairstyles until we were allowed our own tastes (at around the age of 9 or 10) - we hated being expected to be the same. Despite our many differences we are good friends most of the time.

I have twin girls. They were born when my son was 4. I had to get a routine going. I made all the bottles up for the day. ( I was unable to breastfeed them ). I didn’t have disposable nappies then 45 years ago. So I had two buckets of nappies to deal with first thing. Get them out of the way was my first job,
What I would say to your daughter is to discourage too many well meaning visitors , I would end up making them tea while they cuddled the babies. I was exhausted after a c-section and the visitors would stay too long so I got all thrown out of my routine , Congratulations and enjoy taking the out in their pram so your daughter can have a rest. It’s a lovely time but hectic. Xx

ayse, I think the school has been very wise . Different classes is a good idea, ensures there is not constant comparison and each twin can forge their individual characters. In my day teachers were not so thoughtful!

Congratulations! I have a twin sister , not identical but close. When we were born our brother was under three , so mum was busy . I would have been delighted to have had twins but it was not to be. I think it is important to encourage each twin to
be an individual. Even if they are very different they will always have a feeling of togetherness- conceived together , born together. So twins have never been without each other. One downside is that as children people expected us to have the same strengths and weaknesses and we were different. Our mum used to say " I got two for the price of one" - only one labour but two babies. Being a twin is great !!!

Six and a half years ago my daughter had twins via IVF and born by Caesarian section. I’d recently retired and offered to help. I was at my daughter’s 5 days a week doing washing, cleaning, cooking whilst she breast fed both of them (for nearly a year). They were not difficult just happened to have different sleep patterns which meant one slept sometimes whilst the other was awake. I used to take them out for a daily walk rain or shine to give her some respite. She became very miserable and finally approached her doctor when they were 3 months. They gave her a mild anti-depressant and she became more settled as time went on. She needed lots of reassurance that she was doing well. Her other half was very good with the babies but became increasingly unpleasant over the slightest thing.

That all sounds really scary BUT on the plus side, after the initial problems and getting used to two little people it was great fun looking after them and watching their development. I feel very privileged to have been fully involved during their formative years. They are very different people with their own foibles. One has turned out to be rather a mathematician and a bit of a tomboy whilst the other loves drawing. Dad and Mum are no longer together (another story) but the girls are doing well.

If you are lucky enough to be able to help out be prepared to housework etc. as that is generally the thing that can relieve pressure. Just taking them out for a bit can give Mum and Dad a break and some peace for a little while.

They are now 6 1/2, two wonderful little girls, full of life and very inquisitive and school is going well. They are in different classes as the school recommended. This has helped them develop their own individuality.

Above all congratulations and enjoy. It’s a wonderful journey to be part of. ??

I am so envious ! My dd had twins 12 years ago after saying she wasn’t keen on giving up a career to have a baby! So when she became pregnant we all thought hope she copes and then she found out it was twins! Fortunately they were good babies and both dd and husband worked as a team sharing the load. I helped out as well. They were and remain a joy and are such pals together. They rarely argue and have such fun together. So lucky you. I was worried prior to their arrival as I’d no knowledge of twins but within a few days it seemed haveing two babies was normal. As said routine,routine,routine is the way. But most of all enjoy them as the time flashes past and they are staring secondary school before you blink.

How lovely. Heartiest of congratulations. Hope they become your joy and never your problem.

I had premature twins born at 28wks gestation - just be prepared for an early arrival. Sticking to a routine and feeding both at same time saved the day.

My father was a twin born 1918.His mother already had one child aged just 14 months when my dad and his sister arrived.
It was so long ago now so times have changed a lot but I remember my dad telling us that he was cared for by his aunt until he started school.His mother had his younger brother when my dad was three so that was four children in four years.
The four were all close to each other growing up.
It must have been a worrying time for his mother in WW2 as my dad, his father and two brothers were all in the services.Thankfully they all survived.
There has been no more twins in my immediate family.I do not know about my dad's siblings families as we lost touch years ago.

My DD had twin boys when her daughter was 3.
The father disappeared after a couple of months, so it was down to me to support and help her.
It was such hard work and I worried constantly but we got through it.
Routine, routine , routine. Is key.
They are now 15 and lovely boys.

We have had multiple births in the family, and family really rallied round with food, clothes, prams, cots etc. even preparing the house, not just the nursery.
TAMBA are good twinstrust.org/
and there may be local groups for support. Ask the midwife?
And multiple births are expensive - there may be council help available.

My brother in law worked out that it took twenty five hours a day to feed their twins when they were born! Their older sister was eighteen months old at the time.

My DS and DiL had twins 11 years ago , a boy and girl . Great fun hard work and they are still close and delightful . DiL’s mum and I helped out a fair bit as did many other friends and relatives.
They both slept for England fortunately when very small once out of SCBU .One good piece of advice they were given by their Health Visitor was, if one wakes for a feed , wake the other too so at least it’s not constant feeds . DiL expressed her milk too and bottle fed so that she could have help feeding .Once they were toddlers it really was double trouble and doubt if I could cope with them now at 71 !

We have Twin Grandchildren, age 9 now, we did a lot of full on child care in the early years. It was exhausting but fun. It was very much like juggling soot or platting fog. Now they are older, we are older, still exhausting but wonderful. Congratulations!

Congratulations!
We have twin grandsons, now aged 8. They have an older brother aged 14. Due to the fact that they used to live a 3 hour drive away, we would go down to their house to help out when the twins were babies. The elder child often came to stay with us before the twins were born and this continued. Once the twins were about 10 months old, they used to stay too, sometimes on their own and sometimes with their big brother.

The early baby days were very hard work but to be honest, once they got to 12 or 18 months, they entertained each other and so it has continued.
Big brother no longer comes to stay but we have a great relationship especially now that the family have moved nearer to us, just a 20 minute drive.
I hope you enjoy your time with your grandchildren.

My son and his wife have a 3 year old (who I look after one day a week at least) and have 6 month old twins.
DiL started breast feeding but found it easier to pump breast milk and bottle feed so others could help. They certainly find having two is much harder than they thought and it did take a bit for the 3 year old to come to terms with having to share mum and dad with two babes.
Parents used to come to mine so I could look after the babes while they went upstairs for a sleep (that’s getting better now) and I have started to have the babes half a day a week and go to theirs one early evening so DiL can spend time putting 3 year old to bed while I look after the babes. Non identical twins all three are boys.
I’m loving it!

We have two sets of twins in the family,one pair being identical girls,the other twins were one of each.
And all four of them have totaly different characters.
The mothers coped so well,as if they had a single child.
I think it`s a case of being organised and having support.

Congratulations! That’s lovely.

My niece had twins, after two other children and ended up with four under 4yo! She and her Dh managed v well, they were just super-organised. One of the older children caught chickenpox and passed it on to one of the babies at just a couple of weeks old ? but they got through it. They’re growing up now and just the loveliest family, they’re all so close, being within four years of each other.

My husband's eldest daughter has twins, a boy and a girl. They are now 4 and due to start school in September.
When they were born their brother was almost 3. It was/is hard work but lovely to see them grow and develop. The little girl is very girly, the little boy is very full on. Never still and gets up to lots of mischief but also very loving.
Congratulations to your daughter and to you. Just help out when you can, they soon grow up and before you know it will be at school.

If the twins are identical, they face a lifetime of daft questions and the same old jokes!
My husband is an identical twin. They are away together this weekend, to watch motor racing, and yes, they are very close.

Congratulations, there will be lots of love around, hopefully friends will rally round to help.