The Argy back to basics.

Panic over! Lord L and Flibbety returned, a bit pink in the face and rough round the edges, they had been returning overdue library books apparently ( such a quantity of large print books it needed two to carry the bag) to our nearby town, when they said the car ploughed into a ditch halfway there.Lord L had to carry Flibbety into the wood and apply emergency first aid to her.After an hour, she was sufficiently composed to walk back here with the strong arms ( well, one strong arm) of Lord L to help her along, poor thing.
His good tweed suit is quite ruined with grass stains, what a saint the man is.?

Thank you AGA, that is kind of you. I am more of a swinger than an abseiler though. Please use double knit......I am a bit hefty after my prolonged lockup.

I am knitting a rope for you Happyme so you can abseil down the tower.

Thank you Doodle. As you know I don't usually wear bloomers but it is a bit draughty here in the Tower. If Madam Fru Fru could send me a very large pair maybe I could ? balloon ride out of here.

Hi muse, I usually find 'anyone fancy a bit of rump' works well. Mmm pasties....how i dream of pasties. They keep talking of giving me the chop here, hope I get more than one, lamb would be nice

ixion how could you ?

Ooh what a handsome chap you are, I never could resist a man in uniform.

If you do manage to escape Happyme, Madame Fru Fru will make some new bloomers for you. She has some very…..interesting…designs.

Thank you GSM and Doodle, a small glimmer of hope at last. Bert often takes me for a roll stroll down by the river late at night. If you happen by the Tower mine is the room with the large bloomers hanging from the window.....a girl has to wash her smalls to maintain her standards.

? Pasty is bring prepped * Germanshepherdsmum*

Does anyone have a good chat up line for those beefy beefeaters I can use?

If the serious word doesn't work, doodle, you could always apply a visual approach.

Oh poor Gnasher. Thanks for looking after him AGA . I am going to have a serious word with that young madam. Now remind me where did I put my padded bottom. ?

Alarma is a real diva. She has upset Gnasher again by biting him on the rump. He won't retaliate because of her condition so he has come down to the cellar with me for a bit of tlc and poteen. Seems to have cheered him up.

Adaunus you are welcome to join us in the cellar for a tasting session. Thor and I are often blotto after we have tasted several vats of poteen.

Morning all before I go on loo duty again. Yes Doodle I’m fine around the cutlery. If muse can get Happyme a suitably filled pasty, could you then get to traitors’ gate Happy? If so I may be able to arrange transport.
Good luck with Alarma Doodle. Sounds a right princess.

Welcome aduanas to the Argy, please join in ? and enjoy AGAs finest poteen.
I can recommend muses pasties too although what goes in them I really don’t know
Those llamas need a stern talking to, especially Alarma who’s definitely been her usual drama llama self today. Stamping of hooves, kicking and sulking all because Gnasher went down the slide first. It took me ages to calm her down and I had to bribe her back into the paddock with her favourite chips again. Whilst I has hanging around the paddock though I did see a rustling in the bushes nearby - tried to alert lemon as I knew she was searching for Lord L and Flibbety but they scarpered as soon as they saw me just leaving behind a trail of midget gems and strawberry laces

adaunas you are very welcome. Lightheartedness is the key to this thread plus a good imagination ?
Please have a pint of poteen on the house (don’t tell AGA) AGA brews it in the cellar with Thor the barman and we have no idea what’s in it but after you’ve drunk it you won’t care anyway ?
gsdsmum phew that’s a relief. Bit worried about leaving you in the kitchen with the cutlery but now we know you are pretending, that’s ok.
muse yes quite busy. Any more of your pasties coming for the weekend, we may need more by then?
I wonder if lemon has found his Lordship yet?

Great crowd in here tonight. Welcome to adaunas *

Hi Happyme. Read your note. Perhaps food parcels could be arranged for you and Germanshepherdsmum. I'll slip something sharp useful into each pasty. We've a bunch a lock picks back at the muse mess?.

So can anyone join in on here? I usually read this thread because it’s so lighthearted.

I think being 21 with a 38 - 24- 36 figure and long legs as well as her strange but generous ways helped too ixion.

Strange ways indeed AGA4 but they made her very popular with the punters?

No it’s Happy who’s in for treason. I was done for being duped into ruble laundering by Vladimir. I pleaded insanity to avoid a long sentence so am detained until HM considers me sane, have to keep the act up for a while or there might be a retrial and perjury charge. I’m really as sane as anyone else at the Argy ? but must keep up appearances for now . No, I’m not in the loony bin! I agree it might be best if my doggy keeps away from the llamas. She can provide additional security if you wish in exchange for food (fresh meat or Lily’s Kitchen only I fear, she is very spoilt) but there’s a fine line between security and scaring customers off. Jason may have been more friendly?

Glad to see you Germanshephersmum and Happyme. You can have a pint of best poteen on the house. Don't tell doodle.

We are used to old lags prisoners here. We had May Hem who escaped from Strangeways (trust her to be in a male prison.) She did have strange ways.

I think the llamas could pass as Shetland ponies at a push but I think it best your doggie keeps clear of them. They are not as……easy going as some llamas.
A lawyer could be useful if we get sued over anything. Yes, the less said about May Hem the better.
Just to clarify a few points gsdsmum you are sure it’s treason you are locked up for? You’re not under lock and key in some other institution are you? ?
Oh lemon I’d forgotten about Jason. He was around the same time as the ferrets wasn’t he?

Is it me??
'Traitor' I could come to terms with.
'Insanity' kinda bothers me.

My goodness the R&D! Vlad took me there once. It was quite divine. Now I really must rest before dinner...hope it’s not curry again.

The Argy is well used to dogs ( old sea dogs) but we did have Jason the Alsatian here for many years until he went to a better place.....as Big Jim (our cellarman at that time) took him to live with him at the Rat and Drainpipe, and you know how posh that place is!

I have been given the afternoon off (but confined to barracks) as it took me the entire morning to clean those lavs, curry having been a popular choice on last night’s menu. I’m exhausted and must put in for a new brush as that too has had it.

I’ve been thinking - you have to have something to take your mind off that job - you may be considering some marketing drawing attention to my joining your establishment. If so (my modesty is such that I wouldn’t dream of suggesting it), it may be wise simply to refer to me as having been an eminent City lawyer. If you use the word ‘solicitor’ all the American tourists will get the wrong idea, though I suppose if you still have May Hem hanging around she could oblige. My dear doggie has requested anonymity. She finds our current circumstances most demeaning to one with her pedigree. She hates all other dogs but is fine with horses. Do you think she might be told the llamas are ponies, to avoid any unpleasant encounters, especially with the expectant one? Though she is very intelligent and may see through that ruse. Caveat emptor.

Thank you for ending my confusion Doodle. I am easily confused what with my insanity and all that.

Now I must rest to get over this morning’s dreadful experience. I will ponder on the springing of Happyme. Happy, especially given what you’re banged up for, do you have easy access to traitors’ gate?