I’ve just been in the kitchen and been subjected to a very strange experience.
One moment I was scrubbing the tea stains off my mug and the next moment I was enveloped in a brilliant white light that temporarily blinded me !
What could it be I panicked ? The Rapture ? Aliens probing me like Richard Dreyfus getting rattled round in his ute in Close Encounters ? A past life memory of being in Colditz ?
NO - none of the above.
It’s the people in the road behind me who have installed new security lights, the kind you’d imagine they use at a high security prison for serial killers in Arizona. Three massive glaring rectangles about eight foot off the ground, all facing my way.
Obviously these new people must be under some kind of witness protection programme to need such extreme lighting, or else they intend to use their small garden as a commercial enterprise, perhaps a scrapyard with a few chained guard dogs. I thought there was nothing out there but three wheelie bins and what looks like a rabbit hutch but I must be mistaken.
Ah you say - just get a blind for the kitchen window. Easier said than done. The last one literally fell down and hit me on the head two hours after my niece’s husband kindly installed it, and I was quoted over a hundred pounds by someone I got out the paper to reattach it.
The invisible man has set these bloody lights off three times in the last forty minutes.
I think I’ll have to start wearing sunglasses to do the dishes at night !! Any ideas on how to deal with it ?
Farage fails to report 5 million gift!



