Heartbroken in Michigan

ps. I had a typo.....They don't have a table for one at the restaurants.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your responses. I am so heartbroken. You see, I take care of her daughter. I drive her back in forth to school which takes 30 mins one way so I do that four times..I give her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then take her to dance four times a week. She is an incredible dancer. I buy her school clothes, dance shoes, and help in her tuition. She had a national competition in Pigeon Forge Tn. I knew my ex who left us and went to fl 16 yrs ago with his gf was going to go with her too. So, as I give him his space to be with my daughter went the first time half the time after he left, the 2nd time I didn't go. All of the other dance moms said to me---you are going, you do so much for her...When I heard he was going, I told my daughter, he should go with his gf (who he cheated on me and lived down the street when they were young!), I have been to all the regional comps...so this way you can have quality time with him...My sister actually wanted me to come to her beach home in NJ too. But, my daughter said...this is for your granddaughter, Do it for her...I thought about it and figured this is about her and not me or any one else. I told her to tell her dad, that I don't have a problem with both of us there. I won't impede on his time. He got really mad that I was in the same hotel which was right across from the Conference Center...He changed his hotel..I offered to change mine but he did it already...ok so his gf doesn't go saying she had work...I figure becz I was going really and she doesn't want to face me as she broke up my family. But he got mad and my daughter felt she was in the middle...I told her she put herself there bc I offered to stay back.
Once down there, he told her I couldn't sit by them or be where they were. It got to the point that my granddaughter was afraid to come near me thinking it would upset him and her mom. She is young. I didn't make any drama I was just trying to figure out wht I was suppose to do. We ate dinner on first night bcz her father wasn't there...and then not until the very last night bc all the dance moms and kids were going and HE didn't like the restaurant...otherwise..she only spent time with me if he wasn't around.
She said well I see you all the time and I haven't seen him in two years. I told her to tell him that I was cool with all of us there but he still refused to have me near anywhere he was to the point he would walk off...climb over his chair not to pass me. She said well u talk to him..I saw him and said, I would like to talk with u..and he ran literally away...another time I said come get over it, this is for our grandchild...who need to be 110 percent and on her game and happy. The dance moms knew and saw what was going on etc.
So when i asked ok what's going on for dinner she got upset with me...said I am concentrating on this...I said well I am just trying to figure out what I am to do...I guess I was expected to be invisible...to just go by myself to the performances and awards alone and go back to the hotel...This place Pigeon Forge TN is all families...they do a table for one or even have space at the bar. Most are 45 min waits to two hours as well as drive thru...I ate the breakfast crap for 3 days finally got a drive thru and ate the left over from tht another night.
The thing that hurts me the most is that my granddaughter wouldn't even sit with me and when i happened to be in the rest room at the same time and was walking out she said...Grandpa is out there...like I couldn't go out with her.
Surely she felt this but I feel her mom and him were making it about me. Her mom said I kept bringing it up..and all I was asking was wht is going on...
I think he is such an immature jerk and he is 65!
And plus they had plans to spend from thurs to this Sunday together...I left after the finale the next day ...she was in room next to me...I heard a faint knock..looked thru the hole didn't see anyone then got a text...we are down stairs. Do u want to come down to say goodbye...
I change my plans and have taken less work to help her.

I feel she needs to understand how she hurt me..and that I knew this would not work out. I am surprised she expected me to drive all tht way, spend that money to sit alone when all other girls were with their families...I felt so bad one time, I pretended and walked in with another family trailing behind like I was with them.
I did get really stressed and on last day had an episode of not being able to breath...I thought Ya know what...screw this.

What would you do now, under these circumstances. I don't want to take it out on my grandchild..but I do want her to understand, I was there for her and didn't know no one wanted me around?

I feel like what is really left in life anymore.

Re/ being taken for granted, perhaps a "strike" on anything you do for her (cooking, cleaning, washing, etc., if she lives at home or other assistance you give her if she doesn't) and/or a curtailment of any funds provided would get a message through. Re/ embarrassing you in front of friends, if you've already spoken to her in private and then she continued to treat you poorly in front of others, I would come up with something to say, in advance, the next time she belittled me, something that would be assertive and to the point but not demeaning. It's hard to think of a good response (you know, one that's not defensive or said in anger) on the spot . When I was a teen I used to have a saying on my bulletin board that read, "I always think of the perfect thing to say after the time for saying it has passed." Sending you a hug from California.

Top replies,can`t beat them.

Embarrass her back , and stop funding her

I'm afraid she would get a mouthful from me.
I'm a mum, not a doormat.