Son in law

I totally agree with Granniesunite post.

This has been my experience also.

Good luck nanna56

My advice stay quiet we got on well with our SIL. However straight after the birth of their baby our DD wanted us there. Apparently he didn’t he made it very obvious he told us they had decided it was just going to be their time on their own with the baby. He was cross with our DD asking us to come and see them and cross that we went there. I could see his point but it’s our DD who we adore.

We thought he was unfair but we went home after words and apologies but it devastated me because I wanted to be there.
It’s their life so we have to respect that. We get on very well and its behind us but we know now not to over step the mark. Our DD is very happy and they are loving parents and that’s what matters.

Hi Nana56

I’d say saying nothing is a very wise move. Your daughter will eventually ask you if she wants help or advice, even then be very careful in what you say or do regarding your son in law. He’s got lots going on in his life. Be careful he doesn’t shift his “stresses” onto your shoulders because of “what you said/did”etc.

We’ve got past experience in this kind of situation and it spiralled out of control and we’re left a very sad but wiser family in matters of estrangement./allianation. All we did was support, but it was turned into something it wasn’t and we could do nothing about it. I’m still shocked by it.

Your daughter and grandchild will need your support….

Is he snubbing you or is just that he's been through a hard time with family goings on and can't deal with guests easily? Not to say he's handling it gracefully or even a bit rudely, but it might not be personal. I'd just give him some space and, if there's an issue, wait for them to talk to me about it. I've found in life that sometimes it's best to just let people be. If he's in need of space he'll appreciate that you gave it to him. Just be there for your daughter if she's happy for visits. If there's something going on, she may need you for support.

You say it's the final straw but it doesn't sound like there has been a falling out? It's just he isn't there when you visit? Could you ask your daughter why?