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Karen is my Name

(264 Posts)
Oriel Sun 25-Jul-21 11:46:40

I expect that most of you will be aware of the 'Karens'. The use of the name Karen as a go-to insult denoting a middle aged white woman who is ignorant, bossy, insensitive, vulgar and uncouth.

After around a year of seeing the term being used increasingly often I realised that it was having such a negative effect on me so I made the decision to change my name.

I wrote a post on Mumsnet the other day describing my situation and included a link to an Empathy Generator. You insert your own name to get an idea of how it feels to be actually called Karen and suffer constant insults.

I was unsure of the reception my post would get on Mumsnet but there were some lovely supportive comments. People were shocked at how they felt when they input their own name into the generator.

Here is the link if you wish to see it.

karenismyname.org/renamer

My reason for writing here is to find out if I am alone in changing my name for this reason? No-one on Mumsnet had changed their name or knew of anyone who had.

Kryptonite Mon 26-Jul-21 13:02:09

I feel very sad that you felt you had to change your lovely name following pressure from bullies and people who waste their lives making up ridiculous labels. To me this is like letting them win. I could understand if you were called Adolf or something really strange, but not Karen. I couldn't even be bothered to read too much stuff about this issue. I am sure this is a passing, internet-type fad. I thought it was only young idiots who used this term. A boy at my school called me a Karen recently as a way of insulting me, and was told off, detention etc. He had to write me a letter of apology. No way do I fit the so-called description I read earlier. I can't believe adults are doing the same thing. Nobody intelligent would do this. I have known several people called 'Karen', all different personalities. My brother shortened his name but only because he hated the full version. People used to say things like 'He's a right Charlie!', but you don't hear that now and it is such a popular name.
As long as you feel more comfortable with your new name, that's the main thing. It's must be horrible to feel affected like this.

Coyoacan Mon 26-Jul-21 12:57:42

I'd only just made friends with the loveliest Karen when I became aware of its use in modern parlance and it upsets me everytime I hear it.

So sorry, OP.

TwoWolves Mon 26-Jul-21 12:35:39

I always understood a 'Karen' to be the kind of woman who reported other people not following the covid rules. In fact, wasn't there a pizza chain that offered free pizzas to 'Karens' but it proved not to be popular so they had to ditch it.

If I'm right there were quite a few 'Karens' on here earlier in the year.

4allweknow Mon 26-Jul-21 12:33:00

Must be living on another planet as never heard all this about the name Karen.

jocork Mon 26-Jul-21 12:31:44

Names hold many connotations for us especially if we have had a bad experience with a person with a particular name. The Karen's I have known have been perfectly nice but I had a strong predjudice against people called Linda and Katherine as I was bullied by girls with those names when I was at school. I've got over that in later years as I've met nice people with those names since, but more recently a particularly unpleasant Linda was a bully in my workplace, almost universally disliked. We started to refer to her sarcastically as 'our friend' or just by her initials, to avoid being in trouble for insulting her in our conversations.

It's very sad that people feel the need to change their name because of the generalised missuse of a name though. I changed my name when I was younger because I just didn't like it and thought it was old-fashioned but it wasn't due to abuse.

MaggsMcG Mon 26-Jul-21 12:27:26

"nanna8" you are totally wrong it started in US and the ridiculous copy cats in UK who think everything US is better, have taken it even further. Its an insult to all middle aged white women who dare to express an opinion someone else doesn't agree with.
There are lots of middle aged women of other races, what are they called if they express an opinion. I'd like to know?

icanhandthemback Mon 26-Jul-21 12:11:35

That name has always been a dirty name in our house...it's the name of the ex-wife. ??

Zoejory Mon 26-Jul-21 12:07:10

Wasn't MawBe simply replying as a Karen that can do what you had said Karens couldn't, Oriel?

Apologies if I got that wrong, MawBe. Don't want to be second guessing.

But I do know Karens who are aware of the memes and just dismiss them

I knew a medical consultant who was male and called Tracy. I don't think he was particularly bothered by some of the comments that came his way.

Quite an interesting article here about names and reasons why they drop out of fashion.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-45601442

You're perfectly entitled to change your name if you don't like it. Or what it's become to signify to a small amount of daft people. Totally your choice.

As an aside I grew up with a name that caused no end of comment, not always flattering! I stuck with it. My choice. I've got to an age now that I just laugh along with the same jokes I've heard for the last 50 odd years!

Oriel Mon 26-Jul-21 12:02:33

Jodieb

How about calling yourself Kay? Different but not to different.

I've already changed my name Jodie. I wanted to keep my initials so called myself Katherine... Kat to my friends.

I did it by Deed Poll at the Royal Courts. There's an obvious cost involved - solicitors, etc and of course new passport (I've now got a lovely blue one!), driving licence, all insurances bank accounts, etc, etc. It is very time consuming. It's surprising how many things come to light that you need to change.

As another poster who has changed their name said, there is a great relief once done. I certainly hadn't realised how badly it was affecting me.

Oriel Mon 26-Jul-21 11:54:32

MawBe

How ironic Oriel
I try to send a supportive PM as a Karen to somebody who objects to being classified as a opinionated middle class woman with no manners.
Abd this is what I get?
And you say you have changed your name too confusedconfused

Yes it is ironic MawBe... not in the way you obviously think though.

One of the main drivers of the Karens meme is to shut down white older women. Your response to to my post (which wasn't even directed at you) was dismissive and rude. Do you usually end a one line with the words 'End of'.

Are we to abandon an interesting thread because you deem it pointless? You tried to shut my thread down with your statement. If that's the extent of your 'support' then you should keep it to yourself. I didn't see your pm but I feel sure that you have nothing to say that I would be interested in reading.

Now you're adding to the Karen theme by insinuating that I am an 'opinionated middle class woman with no manners'.

What? because you were dismissive and rude to me and I called you out on it?

Purplepoppies Mon 26-Jul-21 11:52:59

My name IS Karen. The slur has been used against me on another social media platform.
Its disgusting and disgraceful.
It was a man from the USA , not that it matters tbh.
I won't be changing my name though.

Longrunkaren Mon 26-Jul-21 11:50:53

My name has been Karen for all 66 years of my life. I have academic publications with my name on them, and all my friends and family know me as Karen, so I am not disowning my name now. I did get a lot of abuse on Twitter when I called out someone for using Karen as a term of abuse. The most frequent thing they said was "That was such a Karen thing to say..". In my peer group Karen is not a term of abuse. I have assumed it's a right-wing US term. I will not give into such abuse.
Proudly, Karen

EmilyHarburn Mon 26-Jul-21 11:47:37

Oriel, there is no reason to change your name. This site is a joke.
karenismyname.org/renamer

It gives exactly the same script and pictures for any name you put in. Its a really horrid joke.

djgmpg Mon 26-Jul-21 11:47:25

I changed my forename in my mid 40’s and I’ve never looked back. I hated my given name, even as a child, and used to fantasise about how I’d like to be named. More so as an adult as I felt it had comic undertones attributed to unpleasant, supposedly, upperclass, women. I only discussed it with my partner who was pleased with my choice; made the decision, and simply informed friends and family, and more formally my employer and colleagues of the change. It takes others a while to make the adjustment (as well as yourself) but if there were any negative thoughts about it none were voiced.

It isn’t necessary to do it by Deed Poll unless you want to. You need to inform the Inland Revenue/Nat. Insurance. Change your Passport and Driving Licence, mention it to your GP, Dentist, whoever, when you next see them and go for it! It was the best thing I could have done and positively changed completely how I felt about myself. JUST DO IT !

AGAA4 Mon 26-Jul-21 11:45:50

Villifying a name is a disgusting thing to do as there could be many people with that name.
Nobody wants their name used in a derogatory way. I am not Karen but I understand how upsetting it must be.

Jodieb Mon 26-Jul-21 11:37:04

How about calling yourself Kay? Different but not to different.

Sheilasue Mon 26-Jul-21 11:25:58

I have a daughter called Karen, she’s blonde has a high level job and is very proud of her name that I gave her, she’s a strong woman, who makes good decisions.
I mentioned blonde because people think blonde woman are all sexy and dim, which she ain’t.
My name is Sheila I am proud of my name, never take any notice of what’s said about it.

cc Mon 26-Jul-21 11:23:27

I can't say that I've hear people belittle others using "Karen" though I have with "Sharon".

Yammy Mon 26-Jul-21 11:22:32

Greenfinch

I have never heard Karen being used in this way.It is a lovely name. Didn't it used to be Sharon and Tracy who were ridiculed?

Same here Mines joan and lots of times people have said to rhyme with moan or I'll tick the 70+box shall I?
I can understand where you are coming from.flowers

Theoddbird Mon 26-Jul-21 11:18:36

I must live a sheltered life....I have never heard the name Karen used in a derogatory way....

Nannarose Mon 26-Jul-21 11:16:43

Ellee, thank you for your point about 'othering'. It was what I thought, but couldn't express, and I feel better equipped for reading your post

polnan Mon 26-Jul-21 11:04:50

never heard of this..how strange!

Pippa22 Mon 26-Jul-21 11:00:05

It’s very common and has been for a while. I am a Karen apparently, just in jest I think but I am not named Karen. I think that might be why I don’t mind and just think it’s fun.

rowyn Mon 26-Jul-21 10:45:50

All I can say is why the dickens are you taking any notice of some so called empathy whatsit website??? It's just a load of rubbish and not worth bothering with!!!

Tanjamaltija Mon 26-Jul-21 10:41:12

There is a Facebook Group... A group where we all pretend to be Karen www.facebook.com/groups/682033489299685