Blamers

Some of my late husband family

Well a doctor did tell me my husband had a personality disorder and I didn’t realise at the time what a serious diagnosis that was. When we split up he put our 8 year old son on his lap and told him in front of me that it was all my fault and was nothing to do with him.

Why do you think they are like this? Is it a psychological problem? Any psychologists out there who can shed a light on this. I've heard of a condition called psychological projection but it doesn't quite fit.

yes, but that can't be helped, and the likelihood is much lowered by having been vaccinated.
so morally they are not in the same position.
it's like saying a strapped-in child in an auto accident can be injured. they can. but failing to strap them in carries a weight of negligence in the same circumstances.

MURCURE...

vaccinated people can also infect people, not just the unvaccinated..

i did want to ignore you , but i couldn't resist!

yes, unfortunately i do, very difficult as they are either hero or victim never ever the villan..
Drives me mad but it's all for attention, so ignoring works..

My eldest son. It was his decision to walk out on his lovely partner and 2 very small children to have an affair. It ended 18 months later and his ex-partner gave him another chance. Sadly, her trust had been shot to pieces so she asked him to leave and I understood her decision. Since then he has lived in a series of grotty flats with a procession of short term girlfriends. He constantly moans how mean everyone is to him and how much he wants to get his family life back the way it was. He is like a broken record. I love him dearly but it gets me down.

Yes , a brother and sister who will moan and groan about how everyone has always let them down ….
I ignore the dramas now . Funny how they resent my modest paid for home in spite of me working hard for decades while they did sod all .
I also no longer bail them out .

It is an infuriating trait - I despair when even the most trivial thing that happens is blamed on someone or something else. If I am at fault I leap in at once and say that I'm sorry, and it was entirely my doing. This isn't as virtuous as it might sound; I worked out years ago that most people know who is the miscreant, you will very likely be exposed or found out, and if you admit, apologise and take the reponsibility immediately that is always the end of it. Anyone who tries to carry it on looks like a nasty harpy, and effectively you have taken control of the situation and ended it looking honest!

It’s now 5 years since I spoke to my son. I finally woke up & realised that after 25 years I’d had enough of being blamed for everything that had gone wrong in his life. Although sad I feel as if a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

My daughters ex. Narcissism ones to mind!

Yes, a member of my family. He could'nt and would'nt take responsibility for his actions, blaming someone else!!

My ex husband. Part of the reason he is the ex, but only part as he was the nastiest person on the planet and I’m so happy I left. He still thinks I’m the unreasonable one!

A friend of mine always blames external factors - nothing is ever down to her

Yes indeed, my ex husband who screwed up on so many vital aspects of our life together I wouldn't know where to start.

When he was found out, and he wasn't always, he used to put some black socks on his ears and whimper like a puppy.

My sister. Never ever forgave me for not telling her that we were moving house (on her birthday as it happened) after a solicitor delayed proceedings and a difficult buyer also delayed the move.
She had previously moved to Africa and then the Middle East without even a 'Our new address' card!.

It’s very difficult when the person involved has a ‘ label ‘, such as Borderline Personality Disorder, as we are meant to accept that the person ‘can’t help it’. My brother revels in his status, at times, as it gives him an ‘out’. He is very manipulative.

icanhandthemback —— l’m learning to just ‘roll my eyes’, but not easy. He’s sixteen years younger than me, so I was like a third parent to him, and very fond of him. He has managed to make me feel so guilty - I’m a bad sister, and I was a terrible daughter. He tried hard to turn our parents against me when they were alive, and succeeded to some extent!

Sounds just like my sister, always makes out she is very badly done too, cites she is "the poor relation", the truth is that she has made some very poor and disastrous decisions throughout her adult life, but can't see it, she is also hopeless with money, was made redundant about 3 years ago, we tried to have a sensible discussion with her regarding financial matters, but I guess she thought she was Viv Nicholson, some people just seem determined to cut off their nose to spite their face!

Yes and it is very annoying. Not only won't take blame but also blames everything that happens on outside events/people ...anything rather than actually look at how their actions/responses might have caused the problem in the first place!!

all to sad lifes to short blame culture everywhere from Royality downwards
NO ANSWER JUST LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE AND DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WISH TO BE DONE BY

Just about every member of my family, it’s laughable at times. But on a serious note leads to divisions as you know what’s going to out of their bloomin gobs!!!

Yes, a very highly strung step daughter, she’s literally alienated half the family. Always whining about being the victim & she’s never accepted responsibility for a massive rift she caused - it’s her loss, just very sad…

The last place I worked. Senior management always blamed the administrative staff for all the problems. I left 6 months before my retirement age as I couldn’t stand the blame game any longer.

I’m fortunate that none of my family do this except for an ex son in law, now dumped by my daughter.

Yes! There are lots of them out there. At this time of my life it’s people who didn’t know or weren’t told that they should save up for their old age. They think it’s unfair that I did and have 3 pensions.