Family rows over wedding dress

timetogo2016

Her day,her choice.
My wedding dress was red,and i had lovely comments about it.
I got married on valentines day too.

In Turkey and further East, red is/was the traditional colour.

Bride’s choice all the way

I think the bride should stick to her guns and wear the dress of her choice...
... and advise those in the family who are upset by it to stay away from the ceremony. Their fantasies about white wedding dresses are irrelevant in this instance.
it's her day, not theirs. They are invited guests at HER wedding.

How sad. It most definitely should be the bride's choice. Her family have, however, forced her into making a whole different choice. If they really won't come to the wedding if she wears the dress and a long term estrangement is likely, she needs to weigh up whether she could cope with that in the longer term if her family are otherwise loving and supportive. Their behaviour is totally unreasonable and they risk losing the bride's love, respect and maybe even any sort of meaningful relationship. She could consider wearing a white dress for the ceremony and the one she made for the evening reception) dancing. Whatever she decided,I imagine she'll not easily get over the pain and hurt they've caused. So sad .

My bridesmaids had pale apple green dresses. One Aunt was horrified saying it was an unlucky colour and blamed the fact that their car broke down on the way home.

It’s all about control and I’ll never understand why people think they should have a say in another adult’s choices. Sadly, it is common.
My DIL wore bright purple silk dress and as a rather large woman, looked like a Cadbury’s purple one. Guests were told to avoid wearing purple. The bridesmaids wore the strangest short dresses with Doc Martens. They were all very big girls too so fairy elephants were in the forefront of my mind. However, they felt good and that’s what counted.

I looked at the picture and think the dress portrayed will make a beautiful wedding dress.
And yes it should be the brides choice
My daughter in law wore a bright red dress, not my taste but totally her choice.

If it is the blue dress, then that is absolutely stunning. As said before, it is the bride's choice, her mother had her day for her own wedding and should butt out. Although I wore white, my choice was a different style to that which my Mum would have liked and I could see she was disappointed, but she said nothing and for that I loved her even more.
A friends daughter married a couple of years ago and had a really beautiful dress in a cream background and with a pattern of beautiful pastel spring flowers. She chose that because she said not only did she love it, she could have it shortened and use it as a summer dress for future occasions. I'd tell that obnoxious mother in the article to go and do one.

Perhaps the older generation are worried how it will look if the bride is not in white. Some families are religious and still hold these views. However, I would call their bluff and tell them to RSVP by a certain date. If they refuse to come then she can always fill the spaces with her more reasonable relatives and friends.

I was married in 1972 and wore red. A Susan Small dress, bought by my beloved Gran from The French Salon in Fenwicks, Newcastle. Still have it!

Like Lullydully, I thought the painting of Ophelia lying in the water was the one they meant, and wondered how on earth she could see enough of it to copy! Now googled the Waterhouse one, and agree it is lovely. Wouldn’t personally choose it, as it doesn’t say “wedding” to me, but certainly wouldn’t argue if DD wanted to wear it at her wedding (actually, would love it if there were a wedding at all, she and her partner are ‘anti’ marriage’)

It astonishes me how people think they can engineer wedding plans to suit them, not just in the matter of dresses. SIL’s daughter, DH’s niece, then 2.5 years old, was being a child bridesmaid for us, my niece another, and my university friend an adult bridesmaid, all in pretty ditsy Liberty print frocks (this was 1980). SIL’s mother threw a hissy fit because she wasn’t invited to the wedding-I had never even met the woman, though DH once had Christmas lunch with them after his DF died. She didn’t come-but relations with SIL were a tad frosty for some time.

It’s absolutely beautiful. It’s the brides day and she should without any doubt wear it. How talented of her to make it too. She sounds a very interesting girl and she must go ahead with her choice of dress otherwise she would regret it I think.

She should have done as i did and not shown them what she had chosen! ?

I love that second dress and hope that is the one she has chosen rather than the first one which looks like she has stuck a long sleeved red t-shirt underneath in case she feels cold.
Oh dear how catty I sound?

She should have what she likes..When i remarried, id bought a wedding dress from a charity shop,it came as a tophalf & skirt half, but cream satin with trim,i had it taken up & in on the sleeve 'holes' but when i got it back it was too tight,and too late to change it, so a few of us went to local debenhams bridal and the girls/ ladies were getting accessories for their outfits, as i looked through the wedding dresses or separate top halves that they stocked.But id found nothing, so they all went to wait for the bus while i had a quick look on other racks of prom dresses- and there it was- the most perfect long darkish RED prom ballgown perfect for me as a long full length wedding dress! (Im only short) it had a full skirt and was a strapless style (even had straps if i wanted to add them) and a tiny train at £99 was a bargain! I bought it quickly and didn't show anyone what I'd bought- later i just put a couple of stitches in the darts underarms and the next day at my wedding everyone was so surprised it was a red dress, but suited me perfectly and looked stunning.It still fitted in with our colourway too as original dress 'top' had red trim so I'd worked the colourway around that, as it was an autumn wedding. I gave other dress back to charity shop. And after a few years donated the red one too.

Well all I can say is what a selfish family this poor girl as. At end of day it’s her wedding her choice. If they don’t like it then I’d say don’t come.

My sister told the family she was 3 months pregnant a few weeks before her full Catholic Church wedding (they had a meeting with the Priest beforehand who said he was delighted for them) ... My Mum, however raised merry hell with my sisters choice of dress, which (from what my sister has told me) was a flowing column style, rather bohemian, very much my sister's style. But her tummy might be obvious on the day .. and she was forced into wearing a "proper" wedding dress with flounces etc (mid '80's fashion) which my sister hated. The manipulation in demanding someone wear something that isn't their choice is appalling.

I love the "Say Yes To The Dress" - but my idea of hell would be a big wedding for myself; there were 12 at mine and that's only because MIL insisted cousins and partners from her side were invited. I wore a knee length white lace dress (sounds nicer than it was) bought in Peckham High Street in my lunch hour - want to add my older sister loved it and wore it a couple of years later at her second wedding (couldn't have our wedding photos next to each other, lol!).

I love the idea of colour on a wedding dress!

What a beautiful dress, and making it herself. I made my own (very simple) and my daughter's, which was all silk and rather more complicated, but both were lovely. Ophelia's dress is different and lovely.

Bride needs to stick to her guns, and uninvite any whingers. It does show the wisdom of keeping it all secret until the day though.

It’s a beautiful dress and how brave of her to make it herself. It sounds as if the family are well on the way to spoiling the day. It’s her day and she should have her choice of dress. How many of her female relatives would have agreed to someone else’s choice? I have seen quite a few brides in long white dresses with very pronounced bumps! Immaculate conception?

Her family sound awful! Its her dress her day her choice! If it were me i would tell them either put up or shut up and if they cant then they would not be welcome to attend!

It’s up to the bride and no one else’s business.
My DIL ditched her white dress on the day and wore a mini dress with over the knee socks and a strawberry beanie hat. It was a wonderful wedding. I had bought a posh frock and wore it anyway. ?

She should wear what she likes. Anything else is unreasonable. And there could be a lot "worse" choices than such a lovely dress.

That dress is really pretty. The bride should choose.
I’m not sure if I’d have had the courage to give my mum no say at all, but fortunately, since we were not well off, the range of preloved dresses was not huge and there was a choice of 1 that fitted and looked good on me.
1 DD chose green for her bridesmaids dresses, which I made.
The comments about her choice of colour were appalling, rude, unkind, almost ill wishing, but she didn’t care. One guest was ‘cancelled’ from the wedding because of her comments. She was most offended and said her remarks had been made with the best of intentions.

I love it, it's ethereal. What a painting. Bride's day her choice, she has class.

The bride should wear what she wants. And it’s good to break traditions that don’t suit you! Wish I’d had the confidence to do what I wanted for my wedding but I was only 22 and the two mums bulldozed me into their very conventional expectations.
Hope she sticks to her guns. The dress is stunning and she’s even making it herself! Wow. I’m impressed!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.