Embarrassing things children say

When DD2 was between 2-3 I had her sat on my legs while reclined in the dentists chair. Dentist is doing my check up, looks back and sees DD with fingers on her face and asks "are you checking your teeth?"

"No I'm picking my nose" Kids :-) don't you just love 'em :-)

Back to the days men only had bald heads when lost their hair, I walked into a shop with my son who then pointed at the man saying “look mum that’s mans got a bald head”

Was out with DS at a gallery we like. He needed the loo so I wheeled him in to the disabled loo. I also needed to go and as he couldnt be left alone asked him to wait where he was. He then said in a loud voice "That's disgusting" followed closely by him fiddling with the door. "Do NOT open the door" I said in panic. Then he started examining the red hell cord "What's this?" "Do NOT pull that". Then with a big grin all over his face he started on the "You haven't got a willie, have you mum? What have you got" speech.
There were loads of chairs nearby where people were waiting. From the grins on everyones faces as we emerged, I know he had been heard!!

Then there was the time when he asked his friend's Mum, who wears traditional Moslem clothing, if she was a terrorist. Luckily she is used to him!!

I did the same jeanrobinson teaching my son the correct names for body parts. He is now aged 47. We took his very proper and rather snooty great Gran on a trip to the beach. She was wearing her Sunday best as usual complete with fancy hat! Aged 3 he brought a bucket full of pebbles over to her and proceeded to count them out onto her lap, “one testicle, two testicles…..” I thought she was going to hyper ventilate and pass out!

One of the books I had as a child was a Hans Christian Anderson annual of his fairy tales. Some of the illustrations were pretty gruesome by today's standards but we were made of stern stuff in those days. My mother used to read them to one of my sons when we visited and taking him home on the crowded bus one day he suddenly asked me: Is the lady behind us the wicked witch from the wild wood Mummy? She's got all those black lumps on her face like the picture in the book Nana showed me. Is she the witch Mummy, is she? Fortunately, the lady with all the moles sitting behind us was a granny and used to children and smiled.

I bought my young niece a Barbie doll with blonde hair for her birthday. I used to lighten my hair blonde in those days. I said to her "look, Barbie has the same colour hair as me" to which she replied "yes but my doll hasn't got black bits on her hair" bluntly reminding me that my roots needed doing!

I had a rather precocious 5year old ( she’s now in her 40’s)
She was sulking because I had refused to buy her sweets. An old lady bent down to her and said “ do you know if the wind changes your face will stay like that?” to which my daughter replied… Is that what happened to you?

My sister had an artificial leg (the result of a motorcycle accident) and was sitting in a bus shelter waiting for a bus. A young woman with her little boy were also there. The child was fascinated by my sister’s leg (they weren’t so cosmetically good as they are now) and eventually said ‘what’s wrong with that lady’s leg?’. The mother was mortified saying ‘yes, we’ll get some eggs’. The child was not put off, saying ‘I said leg not egg’. The mother continued to try to divert the child’s attention, without success. Eventually my sister said to the little boy, with a smile, ‘I fell off my bike, so they had to give me a hard leg’. The mother was so pleased when the bus came!

I grew up in a small market town in Gloucestershire, so rural and white generally. One day when I was about 3 I saw my first black person and asked loudly why did I have to wash if he didn't. My other was seeing a Nun for the first time, I apparently shouted Mummy, Mummy, a penguin...

My youngest daughter called one of my elderly neighbours a ‘monkey bum’ - no clue where it came from but slightly embarrassing ?

A friend was getting dressed and her 3 year old was helping her. Passing her bra, she said, ‘ Mummy, here’s your booby-pants!”

My daughter, aged about eight, had become very interested in conservation. Picking her up from school where mothers were congregating round the gates, she pointed to one wearing a winter coat with a fur collar. In a very loud voice she commented ‘look at that lady, she has a dead animal round her neck’. We did not linger!

@Leolady73 I think you'll get a better response if you start your own thread ?

Dgd told a woman on the bus she needed a bath because 'she smelled' ... she was 2. My daughter was very embarrassed (but dgd wasn't wrong)
Same dgd couldn't pronounce coke, shouted 'that mans got a cock' on a bus ?
My dd managed to lift the skirt of lady infront of me at check out, from her buggy. I was very apologetic but sadly she didn't want to hear it.

My oldest son is autistic and has always asked lots of questions. When he was around ten we were paying for our food in Marks and Spencer and he asked the lady at the till whether she had any children. Her reply was that she didn't as she wasn't married but that she had nieces and nephews. My son then asked if they were the same colour as her. While l was trying to apologise, she quickly said: "he just wants to know and yes they are."

My daughter was three. I had been taken to Sunday lunch in a smart hotel by my Irish boss & his friend who was a well known snooker player.
I went to the Ladies, taking my daughter with me. It was that time of the month.
We came out, sat back down and my daughter said, very loudly "Mummy when I get old will I have to stick things up my bottom too?"

Kim19

On a train journey and already conversing amicably with a black lady opposite when my son (4ish?) decided to ask her why she was that 'funny' colour. Her response was kind and gentle to which he responded with total matter of fact acceptance and, happily, no supplementaries followed. He and she were much calmer than me which suggests I had much to learn.

When my son was a similar age we had a trainee priest from Burundi attached to our church as part of his training. Never having seen anyone so dark before my son asked him "Why are you so black?" I wasn't witness to this as I was busy setting up for the service, but apparently his response was "Why are you so pink?" When he gave his sermon he referred to the incident saying "My friend Joshua asked me..." Needless to say I blushed very noticeably to which he responded "Ah, so you are the mother!" He had a bit of a soft spot for my son after that and I still remember him very fondly.

Aged around 5, younger DS announced very loudly to the entire supermarket queue that he knew how babies were made. You could see all ears pricking up and he continued "first you have to commit sex" amidst the grins and giggles of everyone who heard (felt like the entire store).
One of our neighbours was a lovely black lady we are still friends with today, but one day when she came to visit, the TV was on and there was a black lady reading the news. Elder DS aged possibly around 3, looked from TV to neighbour and back again, looking slightly puzzled, then said pointing to each, "Two Josies!". Luckily Josie found it hilarious!

Sitting on the bus with my young daughter (who had been attending speech therapy) she said in that loud voice children have "Can I have a piss mummy please" she couldn't pronounce her k's!!

My daughter who was three and a half at the time was in a foward facing buggy, coming back from the shops talking quite loudly so that I could hear her, said “How did that baby get in your tummy”, just as two people were approaching, they smirked, I coloured up and I can’t remember the answer I gave. I just carried on as fast as I could. ?

DGD, about 5, informed her class that her daddy was 'on drugs'. Luckily the teacher knew he was a police officer and at that point was a drugs intelligence officer.

Some of those really made me laugh out loud. I was in a queue with my young daughter when she said in a piercing voice that only toddlers seem to have, and asked me if she would have a hairy bottom and big boobs like me when she grew up.

We was sitting on the top of the bus and let the kids at the front told them to sit still and look out of the window. If you do that you can sit there again on the way back but has we passed the cemetery in the very loud voice he shout they are all dying to go in there am I right.

Nearly 30 years ago I was waiting in the queue at Boots the Chemist while the cashier had trouble changing the till roll. My daughter who was about 3 or 4 was obviously bored so in a very loud voice for everyone in the queue to hear she said 'Mummy, you've got a giant bogey up your nose' !
I was mortified and as soon as I'd been served I rushed to find a mirror, only to discover my nose was clean!!!

My daughter was about 3, we were in MFI (remember them) looking at furniture. My daughter asked to go to the toilet but I said she would have to wait until she got home. 5 minutes later I heard a loud voice shouting Mummy come and wipe my bottom. We were horrified to see she had used a display toilet. I can’t repeat what we had to do ?