Embarrassing things children say

We went into a butcher's shop and saw a one-legged man. My three-year old daughter said in a loud voice: "Where's his other leg?" He wasn't amused! I hadn't seen my granddaughter for some time (they live abroad) "Granny, why do you have lines on your face?" Looking in a shop window at wedding dresses after my husband died my four-year old son said "Is that what you wear for your first wedding?" Disapproving looks from two ladies standing by. Coming home from school obviously having had the fact of life discussion: "Mummy, do you mate?" We always remember these things, don't we?!

Happily not for public ears but, whilst in the changing room after swimming, GD1 asked me why my boobs were 'away down there'. Somewhat deflating as I thought I had done reasonably well in that arena. Obviously not. The lovely thing was she accepted my calm response without any supplementaries. Great.

Jess20

We got a rescue dog. Soon after we took my 8 year old son to see the consultant at a well known heart and lung hospital who asked him if he was managing to get plenty of fresh air and exercise.

'Yes,' he said, 'I go dogging with my Mum!'

It was left to me to explain about the new chocolate labrador....

This wins today's whole Internet!

When my son was about 4 we were in a queue to go into a historic house. There was a gentleman several places in front of us with a crutch and only one leg. My son asked, quite loudly, why he only had one leg. I replied quietly that he may have had an accident. Too much to expect that was the end of it. Instead my son replied, again loudly, 'ooh was there was blood everywhere'.
We were in a small supermarket when he was small and in his pushchair. We rounded a corner as an assistant was approaching us. And he said, with big smile on his face, 'hello big fat lady'.
And another time in a supermarket. He offered his dad a hula hoop. Dad took it and popped it in his mouth. At which point son said 'I found it on the floor'. So funny. Don't know where hubby thought it had come from.

My mother took her cardigan off and my daughter looked at her arms and announced her skin was exactly like a dinosaur's I jumped in and said of course it as nothing like a dinosaurs My daughter insisted it was adding granny had scales going right down her arms. My poor mother meantime couldn't get her cardigan on quick enough despite the baking heat.

Apparently, one Christmas, when I was about three (won't tell you how long ago that was), I opened the door to a dustman who said ' tell your mum that the dustman said happy Christmas ' I shouted ' mum the dustman said Happy Christmas' and shut the door. Of course he was after a tip! I doubt he would have got one anyway as Mum was constantly chasing them down the road complaining about them dropping rubbish everywhere.

who said '

Many years ago when I was in my 20's I was on a London bus with a friend and her 4 yr old daughter, we were going to the hospital for my friend to get her daily iron injection. in the hospital her daughter insisted in going into the cubicle with her Mum. we got on the bus to go home, the bus was packed, in a very loud voice her daughter said 'Mummy, why did you take your knickers off and let that man stick his thing in your bottom'?... The whole bus went quiet, my friend went scarlet and looked at me, I laughed, her daughter repeated the question. Then in a croaky voice of embarrassment my friend said 'That man was a doctor and that thing was an injection'. You could see the whole bus breathed out, the conductor came past and said 'Cor that was a relief love',

When my youngest son was 2 we where out shopping and had to use the loo.. He did no more than lie on the floor look under the partition and shout...your winning mummy you are weeing faster than the lady. ?

A friend of mine was amusing her young niece and nephew whilst they waited for their Mum to bring in pudding after a fish lunch.

My friend was encouraging them to see what they could pick up by sucking it up with their drink straws (paper napkin - yes, fork - no, tablecloth - sort of etc).

When attending an infants parents evening, their Mum was horrified to see her son's description of that lunch time including "And then my Auntie taught us to snort parsley"!

When my son was 2 he met his first black man "my sisters boyfriend", my son couldn`t take his eyes of him and promptly asked him if he could touch his hand,to which R said of course.
He did and promptly said "it doesn`t come off mommy".
To which we all started laughing.

When my son was about 3 we were sitting on the bus when a particularly ugly man got on. My son piped up “Mummy look! That man is really ugly”…and continued to say it louder and louder until I looked at the poor man and very quietly agreed that he was, but that you need to keep those sort of observations to yourself…I was mortified!

One that sticks in my mind, was years ago
An elderly aunt of mine used to let a apartment out at the top of her large house .. my cousin arrived with her little around three year old to leave with my aunt for the day, my cousin asked how the new tenant had settled in, my aunt not one to mince her words said, “oh she’s a right dirty cow “:
Little while later my aunt was talking in the hallway to this new tenant when the three year old asks my aunt “ Grandma just how did a Cow get up the stairs ?
Taught my aunt to watch her words

Sadgrandma

Apparently, one Christmas, when I was about three (won't tell you how long ago that was), I opened the door to a dustman who said ' tell your mum that the dustman said happy Christmas ' I shouted ' mum the dustman said Happy Christmas' and shut the door. Of course he was after a tip! I doubt he would have got one anyway as Mum was constantly chasing them down the road complaining about them dropping rubbish everywhere.

who said '

Sounds like you did your Mum a favour!!

The ultimate Cringe. We had been staying with some good friends, our four young children had got on very well together. My friends had a rather precocious 9 yr old. After our return home we were having a BBQ on a hot evening with some friends, as were the rest of the avenue, many withing hearing distance. DS, 7 yrs old, used the F word. Before I could remonstrate my friend asked him if he knew what that meant. DD, 5 yrs old, piped up 'Yes, it's when someone puts their w---y up someone else's f---y'. I died. Obviously said 9 yr old had been giving the younger ones sex lessons. Her mother also died when I told her. We did decide that it was not a tale to be told to various best men when the time came!

I was at the swimming pool with my DGCs. My thighs are very well endowed. My 5 yr old DGS grabbed me round the legs in a big cuddle 'Oh Grandma, I love your legs. They're all squishy like a comfy sofa'. It was meant as a compliment.

My DIL took my DGS aged 3 shopping for a birthday present for her sister's 34th birthday. He started singing loudly around the shop Aunty Jane is dirty oar as he couldn't pronounce 34.
Another time she was walking in the street and he saw a lady in a burhka. First time he had ever seen this dress.
Pointed and shouted 'Look mummy its a black letterbox and its moving" DIL apologised profusely to the lady but she just laughed and said it's ok.

My son was about3 and was playing in my parents garden and his ball kept on going into their next door neighbours garden. My son shouted ‘Nana, Mrs W is being grumpy again!’

My dd when she was 5 ran into the room where I was chatting to the pastors wife and asked how many testicles does an octopus have???

My grandson was about 5 when he was in the changing room with his mum trying some tops on in a fashion store
In a VERY loud voice he said are those your NIP - PELS Mum
???

Ha ha ...not me, but read somewhere a few years back a grandma wanted to introduce her small aged 5 grandson to classical music, so took him to an afternoon recital by the local orchestra ....it was a violin concerto ..........half way through he stood up and said in a loud voice 'Nanna, can we go home when that man has finished sawing his box in half' (I can relate to that !)

I well recall as a child ,possibly six /seven years of age, vivid imagination ,interested in books on witches and fairies , visiting a new friend of my mother and noticing a 'stuffed owl' behind glass on the mantle piece ,Curiosity getting the better of me asking my mother in not I would imagine too quiet a voice 'is she a witch?.

When my son was 3 yrs old he was out in Yeovil with me and his Nana and Granddad. He was walking ahead with granddad when he suddenly said in his clear voice ‘Granddad, why is that man dressed as a lady’, my dad hadn’t noticed but as he/she passed us by Mum and l noticed the subtle signs. I later told my son that people can dress how they like and that he liked to dress as a fireman. This was back in 1991.

Back in the mid-70s, I was about 7 and my sister 4, we were on the bus with our mum going to visit our gran when a West Indian gentleman got on the bus and my sister (who had never seen a person who was not caucasian) asked VERY loudly "Mummy, why is that man brown?".
Many years later when I was 26, my friend and I had dyed my hair bright auburn but we'd been watching a film and left the dye on for 90mins instead of about 20mins. A couple of days later I was walking down the street when a lady was walking towards me with her (approx) 4yr old, who started pointing at me and said loudly "Mummy, that lady has orange hair!" - out of the mouths of babes!

I used to take my eldest grandson to our local library which had a small playground attached to it. They were situated fairly close to the mainline railway.

He was a bright child and leaned to read early so yelled earnestly and excitedly (and, unfortunately, frequently) "Look, Grammy, there's a Virgin!", each time a train raced by.

Eldest granddaughter was forthright. We took her on bus rides and in the hush of the bus this three-year-old would shout "why that man fat?" (he was) and "why that lady big nose?" (she did) are two comments I recall.

When my daughter was about 6 we were out in the park playing golf with a knobbly wooden stick that we'd found, when to my horror my daughter stepped in front of me just as I hit the ball, the stick hit her, and ended up with a trip to A&E for stitches in her eyebrow. A few days later, my mum, daughter and I were browsing some antique shops, when the owner of one said to my daughter, 'oh dear, what happened to your eye?' She promptly answered 'Mummy hit me with a stick!' Needless to say an explanation was given, but I'm still not sure that the woman believed me!

A friend of mine took her granddaughter to the library for the first time. She took her into the children's section and told her she could choose a few books, the librarian would stamp them and she would be allowed to take them home to read. My friend accompanied her disbelieving granddaughter and her books to the desk and stood beside her while the lady duly stamped the books. Her granddaughter looked up at her and said 'She's a nice lady and she looks just like a witch, doesn't she?'