Embarrassing things children say

My elder daughter was the embarrassing one. Aged about 4, she excitedly pointed to a young woman on the bus & yelled "look mummy, it's my friend lady-with-the-spots-on-her-face!" I was mortified, the poor lass blushed & the rest of the bus fell about. Another time when she was 2, we'd gone from the depths of the rural North East to visit a friend in London. She was 2 at the time, came out of the front door and followed B's black neighbour into his house yelling "oooohh brownie one", he thought it was hilarious, I was mortified (again). She also told my mother she liked "black bastards" on the TV, (she meant Block Busters) and happily sang at the top of her voice "I'm your penis..." (Venus). There are hundreds more which I've never let her forget!

Small children are wonderful for there directness. When my son was about 3yrs old we were traveling on a bus, he wanted to sit upstairs and at the front. I had been looking at a book of animals with him the day before and was explaining what we called small animals, like puppies and kittens etc. I told him young boy cows were called bullocks. Yes on the bus out loud he shouted Oh! look mummy lots of bollocks. I was so embarrassed, as this was 1973 and society was refined then. The man next to me couldn't stop laughing.

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My youngest daughter has a slight lisp and when learning to talk her speech was tricky to understand at times. However, shopping in Asda one day brousing through the clothing, my normally shy and reserved child shouts “Mommy , look cocks. We like cocks don’t we Mommy” ? The store went instantly quiet and everyone turned to stare at us.
”Socks darling, with a ssssss”

My 44 year old daughter has become a shopaholic, bordering on hoarding. For two years she has been going through a difficult divorce and her ex has caused her sons to turn against her with lies about her. She has had some counselling but this doesn’t seem to have helped. Can anyone think of how I can help her as I am so worried.

my daughter once shouted in a shoe shop "Look mummy - those are the type of shoes transvestites wear!" my other daughter in the post office queue standing next to the greeting cards one had a badge which said I am still a virgin "Mummy , what is a virgin?" ignore her and she got louder and louder, I finally explained it was someone who did not have a boyfriend, then she said "So am I a virgin mummy?" bless her! They got it from me though, as a child during the 70's during troubles in Ireland all over TV, teacher asked if we understood what it was about I replied there is a war between Catholics and prostitutes

My father in law used to keep rattling his keys and small change in his pocket. One day there he was rattling away my DS who was small at the time said in a loud voice Grandad you drive mummy made when you that. Trouble was it was a habit that he had acquired so it carried on. That said he was a lovely man and is sadly missed, even the rattling.

One Christmas my sister and her husband left the children in the living room playing happily while they went to the bedroom for a 'bit of nookie'. They were proceeding nicely when a small voice from the now open bedroom door pipped up with ' You like like a Roast Chicken'

When my son was about two and a half we were walking past some almshouses when a small old lady came out. “Look, Mummy, a baby lady.”

My two year old daughter looked intently at my mother and asked “Who has been drawing on your face?” . My poor mum had quite a lot of wrinkles on her forehead.

My granddaughter announced that Mrs Brown (Brendan O'Carroll) looked like her great nana (my lovely mother-in-law). Mind you she also thinks her daddy looks like Daddy Pig (and there is a resemblance!)

Gwenisgreat1

It was a warm day, so I suggested to my 2 year old daughter we lie in the garden and get nice and brown, (actually I was pregnant and wanted a rest). Later that day she and I got on a bus. At one bus stop a large number of black people got on, they sat in front of u, besides us and behind us. This all got too much for my little daughter who stood up and with a loud voice "Mum, how did they get brown before us?"

Interesting that so many comments relate to innocent comments regarding colour, today some would be considered very offensive as we seem to have lost the ability to take things as they are.
My daughter used to talk about Curly Lady, Tall Lady, Brown Lady etc from Kindergarten. In the NAAFI she got excited to see the Brown Lady across the aisle, I was expecting to see the black woman who worked there so was a bit puzzled after they'd had a little chat and I asked why she called her Brown Lady? Because she always wears a brown overall of course was the reason. I later found that the black woman was Tall Lady!

Looking for a wedding dress my daughter came out with " look at that dress it looks like a fluffy marshmallow". It was said in a very load voice, but I must admit she was right, it was a candy pink one with lots of layers of netting and a full skirt. I was mortified as the dress had been altered for the lady behind us, as her wedding dress. She looked at us and walked away. The worse thing ever was my daughter was looking at wedding dress for HER. I got out if there fast pushing my daughter in front of me. Moral children if any age can embarrass you.

When my daughter was about 18 months old we were travelling on a tube train and she was rubbing her hands along the windowsills and I said to her don't do that look at your hands they are dirty. Just then a black man sat opposite us she looked at her hands then looked at him and said "that mans dirty mummy wash him" Luckily the guy and most of the people around him laughed. Wouldn't happy now they would have chucked us off the train for racism. Even from an 18 month old. In her defence she had never seen a black person before.

I was on holiday in Gran Canaria with my GD Who was 8. After about a week I was really constipated and very uncomfortable. I said to my Daughter you go ahead to the pool as I need to sit on the loo for a bit...when I went to the Pool I was spotted by my GD and in front of hundreds of people she shouted as loud as she could...Did your Poo come out Nanny. I was so tempted to walk straight by here lol.

I remember shopping with a friend and her youngest son.
She needed a new bucket for mopping the floor and so she didn't forget it, as she had several time before, she was walking around muttering "Bucket" to herself until she found where they were.
Her son, in the trolley, decided it would help by asking and pointing , shouting "bucket" . Unfortunately , his "b" was changed to an "f" ................

Where to begin!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the bank on the army base we were attached to, queuing in the bank or somewhere, my daughter, about 3, stroked the bare arm of the West Indian soldier in front and said You're very brown, have you been sunbathing? He laughed and told her No, I don't have to lie in the sun.
When she was just beginning to talk everyone with a beard was Daddy, which could be a bit embarrassing.
Driving to Hull for the ferry back to Germany, second daughter, about 31/2, shouted goolie, goolie. We were a bit shocked until she pointed to the road sign for Goole, didn't know she could read so well.
A fairly strait-laced friend was sitting in the car waiting for his wife and their daughter, again about 3 or 4, spouted a foul mouthful. As he described it, he white knuckled the steering wheel for dear life and asked where she'd heard words like that? It's written on that wall over there Daddy.
Allegedly just after the Coronation when HM was touring the country my brother, almost 3, commented Bloody Queen again when she was on the TV news. Father got the blame for that one.

When my middle son was about 3 my friend took him and her own son on the bus into town. My son suddenly said in a rather loud voice “Aunty Jackie my Daddy does a weewee standing up but my Mummy does it sitting down”. She said everyone on the bus just looked at her trying not to laugh. I’m glad it wasn’t me with him ?

My granddaughter was in a shop with her mum when two very obese people came in. My gd screamed "I'm scared, don't eat me!"

We got a rescue dog. Soon after we took my 8 year old son to see the consultant at a well known heart and lung hospital who asked him if he was managing to get plenty of fresh air and exercise.

'Yes,' he said, 'I go dogging with my Mum!'

It was left to me to explain about the new chocolate labrador....

When my daughter was about 3 we went to church and we were kneeling, praying. it was very quiet until my daughter said in a very loud voive "Mummy, who are we hiding from?"

3 year old son of a dd’s friend told his nursery staff, ‘My daddy’s got a massive willy!’ ?
I don’t suppose his daddy was too embarrassed - would have been a bit different if he’d said teeny-weeny!

At barely 3, also at nursery, my Gdd said a very loud, ‘Heil Hitler!’ - complete with raised arm.

Since she’d also been singing ‘Doh, a deer’ a lot, staff correctly assumed that’s she’d been watching The Sound of Music (she adored it at the time) and just found it hilarious.

It was a warm day, so I suggested to my 2 year old daughter we lie in the garden and get nice and brown, (actually I was pregnant and wanted a rest). Later that day she and I got on a bus. At one bus stop a large number of black people got on, they sat in front of u, besides us and behind us. This all got too much for my little daughter who stood up and with a loud voice "Mum, how did they get brown before us?"

My daughter when she was 2 was very boisterous, most people accepted this but I was worried about the elderly. I tried explaining to her that she should be quiet with older people around. All was quiet. Later that day we went into a shop where there was one customer, my DD went u to her, help her arm, turned to me - "Is this an old lady, mum"
Ever wished the ground would swallow you?

DH and I took our 3 year old DGS to London on a crowded train. I sat next to an elderly Indian gentleman complete with a long white beard and bright blue tunic. DH & DGS opposite
As the train stood in the station there was a complete lull in all converstation. In a clear piercing voice DGS asked 'What's Father Christmas doing on the train?