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We’re are you popular at school?

(169 Posts)
Shinamae Mon 09-Aug-21 13:20:25

I certainly wasn’t I can remember very clearly always being the last to be picked for the netball team, only once did I get picked quite early and that was because I had scored a couple of goals,apart from that always left till last, very hurtful.Also I can remember asking one of the popular girls who had given nearly all the other girls in my class a present if she would give me one and I would bring her in one the next day, she laughed and said no. I cringe at the thought of it now..?
(That was around Christmas time) by the way it was a secondary modern school

to think of that now

Shinamae Mon 09-Aug-21 13:21:10

I put were, honest… don’t want to be jumped on from a great height!! ?

Blossoming Mon 09-Aug-21 13:22:15

No, I’m always the odd one out.

Blondiescot Mon 09-Aug-21 13:25:06

No, I was always the odd one out too, something which has stayed with me all my life. Never fitted in...

Niobe Mon 09-Aug-21 13:35:36

I attended a girl’s school and was not one of the popular ones but I wasn’t unpopular either and that suited me just fine! I liked tootling along quietly with my own friends.

When I was 45 I applied for a place at teacher training and did not expect things to be any different as most of the students were much younger than me but , without putting myself forward, I was voted for as Student Rep on to the board that ran the college. The person who proposed me said that I always had something interesting to say! Someone else said that I always asked good questions and that was why she wanted to be in my group during tutorials. Thoroughly enjoyed that time of my life!

Shelflife Mon 09-Aug-21 13:36:06

School- couldn't wait to leave. I too attended a secondy modern school - the 11+ was the most unjust method of assessment. My sister and I both 'failed'. Brother went to Grammer school. My sister had a senior position as a special needs teacher , I taught adults with special needs. Took my degree in Manchester as a mature student and gained a first ! Failing the 11+ damaged my self confidence. I am not against streaming in schools or against private education for those that can afford and want it for their children. Judging a child of 11 on one mornings test was so unfair!!! The 11+ examination had ruined many lives .

Shelflife Mon 09-Aug-21 13:37:15

To respond to the question - yes I was quite popular in school .

Blossoming Mon 09-Aug-21 13:38:21

I went to a rather posh grammar Shelflife. I couldn’t wait to leave either!

JaneJudge Mon 09-Aug-21 13:38:41

No but I don't think it bothered me either! I was always very happy being who I was and doing what I did. One of my sons is very much like me too (though they are all free spirits to be honest) but he just doesn't care what people think of him or about fitting in. Not in an arrogant way, he is a very kind and thoughtful soul but he just doesn't feel the need to do things just to be part of something.

I'm not sure this makes sense

Grannybags Mon 09-Aug-21 13:51:57

No. I was very rebellious so only a few like minded girls put up with me! (It was an all girls school)

Maggiemaybe Mon 09-Aug-21 14:03:54

Judging a child of 11 on one mornings test was so unfair!!! The 11+ examination had ruined many lives.

Some recent posts on my Facebook Old Girls' group reminded me that there were 12+, 13+ and 14+ exams for entry to my grammar school. I wonder how many educational authorities offered these? DH is pretty certain that the 11+ was your only chance to get into grammar school in his area. My school had a designated form in each year for the girls who joined us later - I'm assuming they had different lessons to catch them up with the curriculum.

To answer the question, I'd say I was one of the popular ones at my small primary school, but tootled along with my own friends, like Niobe, at secondary level, and was very happy with that. I was never going to be head girl!

M0nica Mon 09-Aug-21 14:06:21

No, not unpopular either, but considered odd by both peers and teachers, so a bit of a outsider.

Fortunately, there was someone else like me and we became good friends and remain so to this day.

BigBertha1 Mon 09-Aug-21 14:09:58

No I wasn't largely because I lived in a council house and had moved to this little seaside town from the East End of London - talk about a sore thumb with a rough accent. I was bright too so that made me even more unpopular. All the other girls lived in the posher areas and teachers actively sought them out for parts in plays, choir solos, teams, prefects etc. It was a good grammar school education and I benefited from it but it made me very aware of inequality

Shelflife Mon 09-Aug-21 14:15:53

Maggiemaybe, we were never invited to take a second exam for entry into grammar school. The standard of education we received was so poor I doubt we would ever have caught up academically in a grammar school.
Blossoming , thank you for that - makes me feel better! All water well under the bridge now and I have done ok . Still a sore point for me though . Not a big deal in the grand scheme if things but I was very happy my children were not subjected to the sane injustice.

timetogo2016 Mon 09-Aug-21 14:27:45

No i wasn`t tbh,i also hated school.
I went to an all girls secondary school and was treated awful by the teachers as were most of the girls there.
My mom said i needn`t go back as we were moving to a different area in two weeks.
Much nicer, and the teachers were lovely.
But i still wasn`t popular except for a lovely Welsh maths teacher who`s name was Mr Graham Leggasic who treated me with such kindness.

halfpint1 Mon 09-Aug-21 14:32:36

I don't remember any of the 'popular' girls who weren't the prettiest. Looks seemed to win out over brains, personality or sporting prowess. Looks attracted th

Lillie Mon 09-Aug-21 14:47:09

oh gosh i am going to spoil this thread and say i was very popular at school

i was told it was because i didn't ruffle any feathers
though a few posters on gn might not agree wink

i always won competitions and prizes but i had the ability to laugh at myself
i even left a swimming trophy on the bus once

i was head girl and had a beautiful silver badge the same as one i saw recently being sold in a vintage auction for 50 quid

my report said a born leader but i never got to run the country

not boasting just trying to work out to whom i owe the credit

luluaugust Mon 09-Aug-21 14:47:31

I was so small for my age so never picked for any of the sports teams. I then got chosen as a Prefect which I hated but brought out my bossy side so generally I was pretty unpopular. Always amazed how much the GC love it.

Zoejory Mon 09-Aug-21 14:49:28

I was rather like you, Lillie

I was the sort of girl others would have hated. Those were words spoken by my teacher to my mother. Pretty, clever, sporty, funny, popular.

Sounded a right goody 2 shoes. What they didn't know was in fact I was rather wild but hid it well.

Riverwalk Mon 09-Aug-21 14:51:34

Well I assume I was as never had any problems with making friends or ever bullied.

Lillie Mon 09-Aug-21 14:51:51

definitely naughty too zoe
but never got caught

Riverwalk Mon 09-Aug-21 14:56:12

Hmm... Lillie you sound like the ideal pupil!

I read the thread title as being whether one was popular with fellow pupils, rather than successful and achieving.

Platypus Mon 09-Aug-21 15:03:00

Word for word what Blondiescot said!

Lillie Mon 09-Aug-21 15:03:59

good point riverwalk

but seeing as all my fellow pupils voted for me to be head girl i figure they liked me

ok so i was always the one others wanted to sit next to and i always got invited round to houses for tea

Doodledog Mon 09-Aug-21 15:06:06

I think a lot depends on how we define 'popular'. I remember two girls at primary school who were popular in the sense that lots of other girls wanted to play with them at breaktime, invited them to parties and so on. The thing was that nobody liked either of them. They were horrible bullies, and people were basically afraid to get on the wrong side of them. They were on-and-off friends with one another, and we would often get to school to be asked 'whose side are you on? J's or B's?' and we would have to pick a side. Then the girls would 'make friends' again, claim that one had apologised to the other, and ostracise the ones who had sided with the 'wrong' one. At 11, one of them went to private school and the other was left without her sidekick. Her 'popularity' was shown for what it was then.

I think that a fair number of 'popular' people are a bit like that one way or another. Yes, there are those who are easy to get along with and don't have many people who 'don't' like them, but on the whole I think that most people have a few friends, a few more acquaintances and rub along (or not) with everyone else.

I was like that - I had a few friends throughout school, and a wider circle outside of it. I was always 'willing to speak my mind'?, which made me both friends and enemies depending, but I was never bothered about that either way, really.