We’re are you popular at school?

At almost 13 I had to change grammar school because of a move across the country. The 2 girls put in charge of "looking after" me obviously resented it, and discharged themselves from it as soon as possible. I didn`t know anybody, and spent the lunch break chasing around bushes at the edge of the school field, pretending to be in a game with somebody, sad, eh? I did later get befriended by a good group of girls, but still felt a bit odd one out because they were a group of 6, 3 pairs that got on well, but we stayed friends until we were about 20, then gradually lost touch, sadly.

I have never been popular and fortunately have never particularly wanted to be. At Junior School I was well liked and to my absolute amazement at the time I was chosen to be Head Girl. I was best friends with a very popular girl, but when she left (aged 9) I lost my place in the group.

At Grammar School I would say I was actually unpopular and came in for quite a bit of low level bullying from the girls in my year. It was a very difficult and chaotic time at home and looking back I think I was probably suffering from depression; I didn’t fit in at all and to be honest I thought the girls at school were like exotic creatures whose lives seemed a world away from mine.

At University (as a mature student) I was not popular, but again I was well-liked and was voted to be the Student Rep. Two of my close friends and two of my sisters are very popular within their friendship groups, but within my family I’m probably the most sought-after and have the closest relationships.

I went to quite a few schools, I was and still am very shy, I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. I also blush very easily.
I did make a few friends usually odd ones out like myself. I didn’t enjoy school in the least.

Three of us were selected to take the thirteen plus, I was happy at the secondary modern by then, and withdrew, of the other two, one failed and one passed.
As for being popular, you were either popular or unpopular depending on what the absolute most popular girl decided.
She could make or break you, one minute you’d be trailing after her, being one of the chosen, the next day, no one would dare speak to you.

Definitely not. I spent most break and lunch times alone

Middling. Not popular with the popular kids but had friends. Some minor bullying.

TBH I wasn't that interested in being 'In' then any more than I am now. I've always walked to the beat of my own drum.

I’m another who was amongst the last to be picked for netball and hockey, games I hated anyway and in which I never put the effort in. As a result, not popular with the ‘alpha’ set. I had my own group of friends I hung out with though.
I learnt early in life that I’d rather do things I liked rather than do (and think) the popular stuff just to blend in and make friends. I suppose you might call me a loner though I’m quite sociable really!

I was always last to be picked for everything.
What is interesting is that people go on and on about discrimination for being black/coloured. I was discriminated against in my native island for a) being white (at secondary school; I was one of 18 white girls in the whole school!) and b) for being Protestant in a mostly catholic Christian community.
No one to hang around with, so never made the connect with friendships, which probably why I have a great number of acquaintances but very, very few friends, even in old age.

a lot being said about not being picked for sports teams

but did you have other clubs like art and craft or sewing where there was no heirarchy and where you could just sit and chat with like minded friends

Not popular as being rather unsociable I kept myself to myself, which I still do now. But I was liked by some of the teachers, as I got on with my work. The most popular were the pretty, clever, chatty girls of course!

I wasn't one of the select group of very popular and influential girls but I wasn't unpopular and had a varied group of friends, a couple of whom I'm still in contact with, despite the fact that I went to several schools.

Neither popular or unpopular. That being said, the mother of the most pop4girl in school was outside the Church at my mum's funeral a week ago passing on her daughter's sympathies as she lives abroad, and the second most popular girl was one of the first on the phone to me the day after mum's death.

But popular meant nice and friendly when I was at school. It seems to have different associations nowadays in some schools.

I went to a rather posh grammar school ( all girls) but strange to say I don’t remember any one girl being popular or sought after.There were groups of friends of course, I was in a group of about six and we all got on really well, and met outside of school regularly.There was no bullying that I was aware of either in school, it was all very civilized.

I guess I was never picked for sports. I honestly can't remember. I do remember being sent off for doing nothing in hockey once. And for scuffing the turf. Badge of pride really. I hated flippin' team sports.

Lillie

a lot being said about not being picked for sports teams

but did you have other clubs like art and craft or sewing where there was no heirarchy and where you could just sit and chat with like minded friends

Absolutely nothing at my mixed secondary modern school, no after-school activities at all

We didn’t have art and craft,we did have art where Mr Smith was constantly smoking and shouting at us!!

No, working class very shy girl in an all girls grammar. I just didn’t fit in. I saw it as a means to an end, get the qualifications to be able to go to teacher training college. I kept my head down and worked, especially in sixth form.
Junior school was fine until the final year a new girl joined the school, and split up my friendship group, I am afraid to say that she was nothing more than a bully.

I was never picked for sports either, but I don't remember that being connected to popularity - I was just hopeless?.

I can't remember much about it now, but I do remember that I was always chosen for left back or something in hockey, and another equally hopeless girl was always the right back, so we 'marked' one another and each effectively cancelled the other out. It suited us both, as we got on well, and nobody expected us to do a great deal.

School was pretty dreadful really. I don't know who said they are the best days of your life, but it certainly wasn't me.

I was never wildly popular and certainly never got picked for sports. However I have stayed friends with three girls from school for over 60 years. Sadly one of us died in 2019 but the rest of us still meet up regularly'

I don't know if I was popular at school, but I was never without friends to join up with for a bike ride, a swim or a game of tennis. Only made the second XI for hockey and was a very 'last resort' for tennis matches. It wasn't the kind of school where being brainy made you unpopular - just a typical Scottish local academy.

Being a forces child I attended 15 schools usually starting mid terms.Always the new girl and having to sit in class,dining room in a spare seat due to someone being absent, then moving seats when they returned.Picked on for having an accent or talking posh. I was always playing catch up with subjects and never belonged.One teacher decided to test my level of maths by asking me to do algebra in front of class on blackboard.I had never been shown algebra and was made to feel stupid. I had been taught French for 2 yrs to a higher standard than new class which seemed to annoy the teacher who then appeared to take instant dislike to me.I hated school and feel the whole experience has affected my adult life.

Party4 I am impressed by the number of schools you managed to get through. I am another forces brat and chalked up 10 schools, most of them primary schools as at 11, like many forces children, I went to boarding school. Otherwise my school count would have risen to 12 and I would have returned from Malaya to the UK the Easter of the year I did A levels.

I recognise all the new girl problems you describe. The main effect for me was I never really learned the art of turning acqaintances into friends. As you were always moving on you never made continuing and sustained friendships, just pleasant acquaintances who you never saw again after you left one school and moved on to the next

I was never picked for sports either, which suited me because I hated it.
I was quite involved in the drama department, always had a big part in any productions, but I don’t think that made me popular.
At about thirteen I became best friends with a girl, and realised I didn’t need to be in with the in crowd, it was exhausting, never knowing from day to day if you were in or out.

Loved Primary school and had many friends, all living locally. Then I went to a rather "elite" Grammar School in north London and things changed. Only 60 girls per year, most from "professional" families, unlike me from an ordinary working class family who happened to be bright. For the first year I worked hard and won the Form prize and from then on I was a marked girl. Horrible bullying by the popular in-crowd. To my shame I "dumbed down" in order to avoid their attention and became a bit of a problem-child, disruptive and with a don't care attitude. Somehow I pulled my socks up in the 4th and 5th years and passed all my O levels, and left half way through the sixth form (I just couldn't bear it any more). The teachers were as bad. I was thrilled in the 2nd year when I was chosen by the drama teacher in a leading part as the French wife of Charles I. Then she spoilt it all by telling me in front of the whole class that I had been chosen because I dropped my aitches naturally and would have no problem with playing a French woman speaking English...............

Trisha
How horrible, why would a teacher be so cruel?
I think everyone in my school dropped their aitches, it wasn’t till I went to college that my tutors would pick me up on it.