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We’re are you popular at school?

(170 Posts)
Shinamae Mon 09-Aug-21 13:20:25

I certainly wasn’t I can remember very clearly always being the last to be picked for the netball team, only once did I get picked quite early and that was because I had scored a couple of goals,apart from that always left till last, very hurtful.Also I can remember asking one of the popular girls who had given nearly all the other girls in my class a present if she would give me one and I would bring her in one the next day, she laughed and said no. I cringe at the thought of it now..?
(That was around Christmas time) by the way it was a secondary modern school

to think of that now

Deedaa Mon 09-Aug-21 23:36:36

I was never wildly popular and certainly never got picked for sports. However I have stayed friends with three girls from school for over 60 years. Sadly one of us died in 2019 but the rest of us still meet up regularly'

Doodledog Mon 09-Aug-21 23:21:22

I was never picked for sports either, but I don't remember that being connected to popularity - I was just hopeless?.

I can't remember much about it now, but I do remember that I was always chosen for left back or something in hockey, and another equally hopeless girl was always the right back, so we 'marked' one another and each effectively cancelled the other out. It suited us both, as we got on well, and nobody expected us to do a great deal.

School was pretty dreadful really. I don't know who said they are the best days of your life, but it certainly wasn't me.

SueSocks Mon 09-Aug-21 22:49:47

No, working class very shy girl in an all girls grammar. I just didn’t fit in. I saw it as a means to an end, get the qualifications to be able to go to teacher training college. I kept my head down and worked, especially in sixth form.
Junior school was fine until the final year a new girl joined the school, and split up my friendship group, I am afraid to say that she was nothing more than a bully.

Shinamae Mon 09-Aug-21 22:48:45

We didn’t have art and craft,we did have art where Mr Smith was constantly smoking and shouting at us!!

Shinamae Mon 09-Aug-21 22:47:20

Lillie

a lot being said about not being picked for sports teams

but did you have other clubs like art and craft or sewing where there was no heirarchy and where you could just sit and chat with like minded friends

Absolutely nothing at my mixed secondary modern school, no after-school activities at all

GagaJo Mon 09-Aug-21 22:43:12

I guess I was never picked for sports. I honestly can't remember. I do remember being sent off for doing nothing in hockey once. And for scuffing the turf. Badge of pride really. I hated flippin' team sports.

lemongrove Mon 09-Aug-21 22:39:44

I went to a rather posh grammar school ( all girls) but strange to say I don’t remember any one girl being popular or sought after.There were groups of friends of course, I was in a group of about six and we all got on really well, and met outside of school regularly.There was no bullying that I was aware of either in school, it was all very civilized.

Beswitched Mon 09-Aug-21 20:16:10

Neither popular or unpopular. That being said, the mother of the most pop4girl in school was outside the Church at my mum's funeral a week ago passing on her daughter's sympathies as she lives abroad, and the second most popular girl was one of the first on the phone to me the day after mum's death.

But popular meant nice and friendly when I was at school. It seems to have different associations nowadays in some schools.

Eloethan Mon 09-Aug-21 20:10:09

I wasn't one of the select group of very popular and influential girls but I wasn't unpopular and had a varied group of friends, a couple of whom I'm still in contact with, despite the fact that I went to several schools.

BlueSky Mon 09-Aug-21 19:43:27

Not popular as being rather unsociable I kept myself to myself, which I still do now. But I was liked by some of the teachers, as I got on with my work. The most popular were the pretty, clever, chatty girls of course!

Lillie Mon 09-Aug-21 19:32:52

a lot being said about not being picked for sports teams

but did you have other clubs like art and craft or sewing where there was no heirarchy and where you could just sit and chat with like minded friends

grandMattie Mon 09-Aug-21 19:12:13

I was always last to be picked for everything.
What is interesting is that people go on and on about discrimination for being black/coloured. I was discriminated against in my native island for a) being white (at secondary school; I was one of 18 white girls in the whole school!) and b) for being Protestant in a mostly catholic Christian community.
No one to hang around with, so never made the connect with friendships, which probably why I have a great number of acquaintances but very, very few friends, even in old age.

EkwaNimitee Mon 09-Aug-21 18:53:50

I’m another who was amongst the last to be picked for netball and hockey, games I hated anyway and in which I never put the effort in. As a result, not popular with the ‘alpha’ set. I had my own group of friends I hung out with though.
I learnt early in life that I’d rather do things I liked rather than do (and think) the popular stuff just to blend in and make friends. I suppose you might call me a loner though I’m quite sociable really!

GagaJo Mon 09-Aug-21 18:47:23

Middling. Not popular with the popular kids but had friends. Some minor bullying.

TBH I wasn't that interested in being 'In' then any more than I am now. I've always walked to the beat of my own drum.

ninathenana Mon 09-Aug-21 18:44:34

Definitely not. I spent most break and lunch times alone

Sara1954 Mon 09-Aug-21 18:17:19

Three of us were selected to take the thirteen plus, I was happy at the secondary modern by then, and withdrew, of the other two, one failed and one passed.
As for being popular, you were either popular or unpopular depending on what the absolute most popular girl decided.
She could make or break you, one minute you’d be trailing after her, being one of the chosen, the next day, no one would dare speak to you.

LadyGracie Mon 09-Aug-21 17:58:19

I went to quite a few schools, I was and still am very shy, I wouldn’t say boo to a goose. I also blush very easily.
I did make a few friends usually odd ones out like myself. I didn’t enjoy school in the least.

grannyactivist Mon 09-Aug-21 17:40:21

I have never been popular and fortunately have never particularly wanted to be. At Junior School I was well liked and to my absolute amazement at the time I was chosen to be Head Girl. I was best friends with a very popular girl, but when she left (aged 9) I lost my place in the group.

At Grammar School I would say I was actually unpopular and came in for quite a bit of low level bullying from the girls in my year. It was a very difficult and chaotic time at home and looking back I think I was probably suffering from depression; I didn’t fit in at all and to be honest I thought the girls at school were like exotic creatures whose lives seemed a world away from mine.

At University (as a mature student) I was not popular, but again I was well-liked and was voted to be the Student Rep. Two of my close friends and two of my sisters are very popular within their friendship groups, but within my family I’m probably the most sought-after and have the closest relationships.

Hellogirl1 Mon 09-Aug-21 17:37:59

At almost 13 I had to change grammar school because of a move across the country. The 2 girls put in charge of "looking after" me obviously resented it, and discharged themselves from it as soon as possible. I didn`t know anybody, and spent the lunch break chasing around bushes at the edge of the school field, pretending to be in a game with somebody, sad, eh? I did later get befriended by a good group of girls, but still felt a bit odd one out because they were a group of 6, 3 pairs that got on well, but we stayed friends until we were about 20, then gradually lost touch, sadly.

Yammy Mon 09-Aug-21 17:34:29

Never enjoyed infants or Junior school ,for two of the years I was put in the class above my age and was classed as a baby. I went to a small village school that was conscious of getting people to the Grammar school. I was also bullied by a group of boys until my dad taught me to punch.
At Grammar school I was hopeless at sport but had good friends, we had 11+, resits 13+ 14+ and people joined the sixth-form.
I never ran with the" in-crowd kept my head down as I was in a notorious class of mischievous boys who were really good fun and enjoyed my years at school.
At college, I made good friends again definitely not the in-crowd and in my last year had a boyfriend who was at uni in a different city so spent a lot of time with him.
I would never have made Head girl material and was never a prefect. I think two of the teachers probably liked me one positively hated me and showed me up whenever she could.
I still have friends from Grammar school and college.

Grandma70s Mon 09-Aug-21 17:32:53

I was popular enough among my own type - arty, interested and involved in music and drama. I always had a small group of close friends rather than a large number. Games meant nothing to me, except as something to avoid, so I suppose the gamesy ones didn’t think much of me - as I didn’t of them.

It was an all-girls, academically selective independent school, so I didn’t have to worry about whether I was popular with boys.. I just can’t imagine having boys at school. .

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 09-Aug-21 17:32:32

I had a stammer and wore glasses. I was hopeless at sport and was never chosen for a team. I did have a good group of friends at Primary School though. Sadly, I was borderline 11-plus and had to go to the local Secondary School. All my friends went to the Grammar School. There wasn’t a 13-plus so I was stuck. I wrote an article about my failure once and a friend said it made her cry.

Nannarose Mon 09-Aug-21 17:31:51

I was awful at all sports, and was never picked for any team. However, I was quite popular. I refused to get pulled in to any faction, indulge in any gossip but for the mildest chat, and would say that anyone who behaved in a bullying / catty way must be quite unhappy.
I did a few things with the 'golden circle' of the most popular girls, but my best friends were outside of that.
The best friend of my adult life I met as a young adult. When we had school age children, I found some of her behaviour around some of the mums quite annoying. I then realised that she had always been outside 'the golden circle' at her schools, and was anxious for her children to be part of what she thought were that set at their school. I told her that it was all smoke and mirrors!
Interestingly, one of her daughters has grown up to be part of a rather smart set. She's pleasant and kind, but IMHO rather shallow. The other daughter has always been very independent minded & has a range of rather eccentric friends (including me!)

M0nica Mon 09-Aug-21 17:24:45

It never bothered me being considered the odd one out. I never wanted to be part of the crowd, as it meant pretending to be what I wasn't, liking things I didn't like or understand and I would have been terminally bored.

I was quite happy to go my own way, usually with my head in a book. I was badly bullied at one school because of a medical condition I had until I was about 13. This wasn't particularly pleasant but I soon learnt how to avoid going places that put me at risk.

I was quite outspoken and always ready to defend others and challenge teachers if I though they acted unfairly. But as I said, there was another like me, not in my year, but close in age, and we shared our taste in music - classical, not pop. and were/are still omniverous readers.

I rubbed along quite happily with everyone else, but I was seen as being 'other'

Lillie Mon 09-Aug-21 17:20:51

hang on a mo
maybe some of you might have been more popular than you think
you all sound pretty nice just maybe sensitive about certain things