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Mridul Wadhwa - Male CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis

(953 Posts)
FarNorth Wed 11-Aug-21 23:17:44

At about 2.20 in this video, Mridul Wadhwa states that he did not make his employers aware that he is male, when applying for the job of Rape Crisis centre manager - a job which was open to female applicants only.

youtu.be/HT_ryngVhcU .

GagaJo Sun 22-Aug-21 20:57:08

Many lesbians go through that journey petunia, and then later, they decide that the root of their dis-ease (not disease) isn't their sexuality, it is their gender.

Judith Halberstam, Del La Grace and others whose names don't spring to mind (my contact was many years ago).

It REALLY isn't for mainstream people to tell LBGTQ people how to be or how to live or what to do with their bodies. As a teacher, I have had at least one student at every school who has been gender queer. All you can do is be open and welcoming to them. Some talk. Some don't. The happiest one was a F2M who had a lovely small, all inclusive school and accepting parents. Some students struggle, alone, with it and it is traumatic in the extreme. Just because it is not OUR experience doesn't mean it isn't authentic.

trisher Sun 22-Aug-21 21:03:15

FarNorth so if someone has to have a certificate to prove a carer or medical person is female (sex) is the fear of being treated by someone who is a transwoman reasonable or not? I'm not sure on that one. It would seem to me that in life we largely take people for how they present and don't ask for evidence of sex. It seems a reasonable solution to me to say you can ask for another person without giving a reason. I worry about any legal discrimination such as insisting on a certificate showing evidence of birth sex because it seems to me a slippery slope and introducing any legal complications could pave the way for further discriminatory actions.

Doodledog Sun 22-Aug-21 21:08:10

But none of those situations are to do with rights nor have I refused to answer the questions. You simply question my answers.
If you could point me in the direction of an answer I would be grateful.

So for the woman with a doctor anyone can for any reason refuse treatment by any person they feel uncomfortable with for any reason. They do not need to state a reason, So what right is being abused or what on earth has this to do with rights?
As I'm sure you are aware (and knowing that you would respond in this way is why I put 'potentially without her knowledge' in the example), I am talking about a case where the patient is unaware of the fact that the doctor is a male who identifies as female. Your interpretation that TWAW rides roughshod over her cultural, religious obligations, or her personal preference, that she should not be touched by a male. Does she have no right to hold those preferences, or to adhere to religious obligations simply because a section of society believes that TWAW? Not believing that is a position protected by law, as I am also sure that you know.

Transwomen are women
I would take issue with that, as you know. Also, see above about the fact that not believing it is a position protected by law.

or are you suggesting anyone entering any competition must produce evidence of their birth gender? If you are doing this than I suppose transmen will be able to enter any such competitions? I suppose it might be possible but really a complete complication for dealing with a community which is a tiny percentage
No, of course people aren't going to be asked to produce certification of their sex. We don't get certificates of 'birth gender', as we don't have a gender at birth - this is a learned set of behaviours. But anyway. In many cases, such competitions (as with jobs in Arts-based organisations) specify characteristics because the purpose of the exhibition/book/film is to give a voice to someone from the community concerned. Someone who has lived experience of being in the position that is represented, not someone who has come in from outside speaking for them, which happens so often (eg middle class men writing about working class women). To have an applicant/submission from a different group - however disadvantaged they may have been in their own way - completely disrupts that, and makes a mockery of the purpose of the request. It would be exactly the same if someone claimed to be from an ethnic minority when their great grandmother was Irish but migrated to England as a child, or if they had lived on a budget for a couple of years and claimed to be from a disadvantaged background.

You do have a bit of an obsession with genitals
For someone who repeatedly posts that she is not going to look under people's clothing, or that she doesn't know what is between someone's legs' this is a bit rich. I'm not remotely obsessed with genitals, except when they are inappropriately displayed, and even more so when this happens in a situation in which women and children are undressed and consequently vulnerable. Does that not trouble you?

I'm not sure why it is always women you have taking children swimming. There are an awful lot of single fathers about. Their children presumably are familiar with male genitals. The answer is of course larger cubicles for all families and many pools have these. What is the rights issue?
I do't 'have women taking children swimming'. I am, as you know, referring to a situation mentioned earlier on here when my female friend took her child to a female communal changing room and found a man (however he identified) in there. I have never been in a male changing area, so I can't comment on what happens there. I agree that in many families parents are happy to be naked in front of their children, but it is well within their rights to choose not to be, and I guess that most families would draw the line at their young children seeing non-family members without their clothes. In most circumstances what happened would be considered indecent exposure. Do you think that such an offence should no longer be on the books? If not, how would you counter a defence that an exposer is not guilty, as he believes his penis to be female?

Carers and clients can clash over many matters. The client is the one who chooses, and it can be difficult to accommodate all the personal preferences which can be sometimes based on prejudice, but no one is forcing her to take on anyone. What is the rights issue?
The rights issue, as with the doctor question, arises if the client does not want a male-born carer, but the carer is on the books as female, and presents as such, does the right of the transwoman to be treated as female trump the right of the client not to have a man in her home, even if she is not aware of it? Let's assume that the client is also blind?

I've answered many of these questions before. The above are still not answers to the question of whose rights should prevail? You claim that there are no rights issues, but in each case, the right of a woman to determine who touches her body intimately, or to be represented in the Arts or media, or to be confident that the person sharing her home is of the sex she prefers them to be (regardless of their gender identification) is under threat. I am asking whether you can see that, or if you are still insisting that the hypothetical transwoman should take precedence in these situations?

So could you at least comment on the real subject of the thread and the way her views have been misrepresented and her career ignored? I have already commented on this thread - ended I raised the subject on another 'trans' thread that was live when this one started - and my views are there for you to see. With all due respect, I have had enough of trawling back through threads to find my own posts and being asked to repeat myself over and over again.

FarNorth Sun 22-Aug-21 22:18:49

trisher on the subject of "her views" did you see the screenshots of MW objecting to survivors of sexual violence having the right to request a medical examiner of a specific sex?

What MW wants is for a woman, who has asked for a female medical examiner immediately after suffering sexual violence, to have the possibility of being intimately examined by a male whom she has been told is a female.

Do you really think that is all right?
Do you not think that deception could be extremely distressing?
Do you really think a woman will feel like confidently challenging that and asking for someone else, at that time?

You said MW has never said that a woman must accept a transwoman counselor, yet here he is trying to make women accept transwomen doing intimate examinations.

FarNorth Sun 22-Aug-21 22:23:23

FarNorth so if someone has to have a certificate to prove a carer or medical person is female (sex) is the fear of being treated by someone who is a transwoman reasonable or not?

I didn't say anything about a certificate.
An agency, or a council, which is providing a service should make sure it has accurate information on the sex of its employees.
Trans people should not be so fragile that they can't bear to acknowledge their biological sex.
Honesty about sex, regardless of how a person presents themself, would be preferable to the ridiculous mass pretence in which we are all being asked to collude.

Bridie22 Sun 22-Aug-21 23:08:41

Question?
If a woman requests a woman examiner for an intimate examination, and the person examing them turns out to be a male self identifying that day as a woman...the person being examined doesn't know this...does this not throw up the question of consent ??

FarNorth Mon 23-Aug-21 00:20:43

No relation I'm sure petunia

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 00:37:34

That sums it up, really.

How any woman can't see the idiocy of that situation is beyond me. Nobody is saying that people shouldn't transition, or identify how they like. All we are asking is that those who do, in return for acceptance and respect, should respect the wishes of people of their new gender, be sensitive to women's feelings, and take up roles where neither sex nor gender are an issue. There are plenty of them.

Mollygo Mon 23-Aug-21 01:16:56

FarNorth, that picture sums up what is going on perfectly.

Galaxy Mon 23-Aug-21 07:40:02

It really also isnt for people to imply that the LGBTQ community are in agreement on this issue when they arent, many of the detransitioners (lesbians) are raising concerns about what happened to them and many in the gay community are angry about the denial of the reality of biological sex. I read an older gay men talking about the way in which pretending that people can change sex , the talk about obsession with genitals reminded him of the conversion therapy he had experienced in the seventies.

petunia Mon 23-Aug-21 08:14:09

ha ha. FarNorth
i like it

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 09:10:17

Galaxy

It really also isnt for people to imply that the LGBTQ community are in agreement on this issue when they arent, many of the detransitioners (lesbians) are raising concerns about what happened to them and many in the gay community are angry about the denial of the reality of biological sex. I read an older gay men talking about the way in which pretending that people can change sex , the talk about obsession with genitals reminded him of the conversion therapy he had experienced in the seventies.

Yes, I think that anyone claiming to speak for 'the LGBTQ community' is overstepping the mark. There are as many divisions within that 'community' as within any other.

GagaJo Mon 23-Aug-21 09:14:42

Are you in the LBGTQ community Doodledog?

FannyCornforth Mon 23-Aug-21 09:38:28

Galaxy comparisons with conversion therapy. Very thought provoking

Peasblossom Mon 23-Aug-21 10:11:56

There is no LBGTQ community.

People who became open about their “non-standard” sexuality initially supported one another and those with “standard” sexuality devices the LBGTQ label. Which, if you think about it just means “people who aren’t like us”. (It’s the same for the BAME label, which is another issue)

The Gay community increasingly wishes to distance itself from this label. And particularly from the trans women community who are aggressively attacking the idea of homosexuality. The frequently stated stance coming from prominent trans women is that their is no such thing as homosexuality and that if you are attracted to the same sex, then clearly you need to transition.

Please just say the Transcommunity when expressing Trans opinions. Do not impute to the Gay community opinions that they do not support.

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 10:15:12

GagaJo

Are you in the LBGTQ community Doodledog?

I don't discuss my personal life on here.

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 10:15:47

Peasblossom

There is no LBGTQ community.

People who became open about their “non-standard” sexuality initially supported one another and those with “standard” sexuality devices the LBGTQ label. Which, if you think about it just means “people who aren’t like us”. (It’s the same for the BAME label, which is another issue)

The Gay community increasingly wishes to distance itself from this label. And particularly from the trans women community who are aggressively attacking the idea of homosexuality. The frequently stated stance coming from prominent trans women is that their is no such thing as homosexuality and that if you are attracted to the same sex, then clearly you need to transition.

Please just say the Transcommunity when expressing Trans opinions. Do not impute to the Gay community opinions that they do not support.

Agreed, Peasblossom.

trisher Mon 23-Aug-21 10:24:41

FarNorth I looked up what had been said about the legislation being passed and objected to. My immediate response was of course no one should insist anyone should accept any medical examination by someone they were uncomfortable with. But then I looked at what was said. The assumption that trans women are insisting on being permitted to examine anyone isn't actually true. The argument seems to be that by focussing on just female sex examinations the act spotlights transwomen. I suppose that is true. It also seems to reinforce the perception that only women are raped. Perhaps looking forward it would have been better to include in that legislation that any rape victim should be permitted to choose their medical examiner and counsellor with full knowledge of their gender and sex. Perhaps a raped transwoman would prefer a transwoman and a raped transman a transman.

The perception that the LGBQT always speaks with one voice is of course a complete fallacy. The history of conflict between transwomen and gay men is well documented. As with many other groups older gay men may find accepting trans people more difficult.

Peasblossom Mon 23-Aug-21 10:26:54

What’s your opinion on the Trans stance the attraction to the same sex means that person should transition,

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 10:37:47

trisher, I mean this kindly, and may of course be wrong here, but it looks as though you are desperately trying to find ways to defend transpeople against a very simple objection, which is that many women don't want to be touched intimately by male-bodied people.

Looking things up, and getting all the information before reaching a decision is, of course, sensible, but the impression here (to me) is that you are going well beyond that to look for loopholes in common sense that might just possibly support your argument.

In an ideal world, a transperson could ask for another transperson of the same adopted gender to carry out examinations, but realistically, given the numbers involved coupled with the shortage of doctors in general, they might have to wait a long time for what could be an urgent appointment.

What is wrong with saying that if transwomen doctors who are not prepared to disclose their sex before examining someone intimately (which is perfectly understandable) should practise medicine in a different area, and counsellors should specialise in areas where neither sex nor gender are as important as they are in rape counselling?

Mollygo Mon 23-Aug-21 10:37:50

Interesting question Peaseblossom. If lesbians are attracted to women, why would they want one of them to be a man?
If they’re attracted to someone of the unaltered male sex, whatever gender they claim, that’s heterosexual and not lesbian, and that’s OK too.
As long as both partners have the right to choose, it’s OK. If one is trying to force something unacceptable on the other then it’s not OK.

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 10:41:53

Peasblossom

What’s your opinion on the Trans stance the attraction to the same sex means that person should transition,

I think it is barmy, quite frankly. Lots of people have same-sex attractions and/or experiences as well as opposite-sex ones. People would be transitioning all over the place, there and back again, and for what?

Sexual attraction is about as personal as it gets, and anyone trying to impose their view about who and how anyone else should feel it is on a hiding to nothing.

Doodledog Mon 23-Aug-21 10:42:38

Also, such a view is mixing up sex, gender and sexuality yet again.

Peasblossom Mon 23-Aug-21 10:53:40

Mollygo what is being put forward is that if you are attracted to the same sex as yourself (your birth sex) then you are in the wrong body and need to change your gender. You will then be attracted to “right” sex for you.

So lesbian relationships are not really relevant since both women, who are attracted to women, may need to change their gender to who they were supposed to be. However, If one of them transitions and they are still attracted, this is right because they are now back in the “correct” position of being attracted to the opposite gender.

Please don’t think that I am agreeing to this in any way. I’m just trying to explain what is being put forward,

Mollygo Mon 23-Aug-21 11:09:11

Oh I understand what is being put forward only too well. What I said stands. I’m just picturing 2 unconnected lesbians both transitioning so they’ll be attracted to the ‘right’ sex. They meet up serendipitously, and fall in love. Now what happens? I’m sure Sandydrawsbadly could design a picture to illustrate this better than I can put it.