Mridul Wadhwa - Male CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis

A transwomen who has been raped is being misgendered and misrepresented on this thread-
so very little respect and virtually no consideration

Perhaps they need to reframe their trauma and have a more positive relationship with it. That way “it becomes a story that empowers you and allows you to go and do other more beautiful things with your life,” then trisher. If that doesn't sit well with you, then consider how the women who have survived rape and sexual molestation feel when they're told the same thing.

Using correct pronouns is not abuse.

trisher Did you not notice that I said that I know you said 'some' posters but that is not enough to reduce the offensiveness of your post?

I have long suspected that you rarely read my posts, but instead simply pounce on something and pick fault with it, but that confirms my suspicions.

Arguing about pronouns deflects from the fact that under Wadhwa’s leadership the Rape Crisis Centre is no longer a place where all women can feel safe and supported in dealing with the trauma of rape.

What matters is that a number of women who have suffered rape now have nowhere to go.

Are those supporting Nadhwa at all concerned about that?

Wadhwa

Absolutely peasblossom, thankyou for that it's really hard not to be drawn into the nonsense and its vital to ensure the focus remains on women.

cis woman

this is a term that disrespects natal women

this is a term that disrespects natal women

It would appear that that doesn't matter any more pinkquartz. Only men can demand respect. Women have no rights to safe spaces, even when they're in trauma from abusive, violent men who have raped them. They have no right to single sex areas; men can demand access at all times (they don't even need to wear a frock). All men's rights trump a woman's. And if you're not comfortable with this you might like to reframe your trauma and have a positive relationship with it. We know this because a man said so.

Chewbacca ?

I don't mind being a cis-woman, I didn't mind being a womyn in the 70s. I don't mind being included in womxn.
As far as I can see the name I am called has never significantly impacted on my life or the lives of any of the women around me.
What has impacted is the economic situation, cuts to services, zero hours contracts, working poverty and food banks. So all this fuss about transwomen isn't either that important or that life changing for most women.If only all this ire were focussed on the real problems.

Trisher it is. This is a fundamental issue. Chewbacca's post says it all.

Yes because obviously none of us are involved in any of those things. We can manage to think of more than one thing at a time.
It's interesting that you get so concerned about misgendering but when women express concern about a term you dismiss it. Interesting to notice the discrepancy in the way you treat transwomen and women.

Just as the inclusion of Laurel Hubbard in the recent Olympics has set a precedent for including males into women's sports (and subsequently the beginning of the end for segregating the sexes), the continued employment of Mridul in charge of a female rape crisis centre will do the same. The next time a position is available, quite legitimately requiring a woman under the equality act of 2010, Alex Drummond could apply, citing Mridul, in an effort to expand the bandwidth of women. Or is he now reframing womanhood.

You don’t think the loss a safe place for women who have been raped is an important issue, trisha?

And if it doesn’t matter what women are called why are you so indignant about a pronoun???

Getting a bit tangled with your arguments ??‍♀️

I think you are quite entitled to refuse to be known as a cis-woman if you wish. I don't think it disrespects you in any way but if you prefer not to be called it that's fine with me. I would respect your wishes just as I would respect anyone's wish to be known as she, or he, or they. It doesn't mean I think it impacts on their life it's just good manners and personal preference.
That's a totally different thing to thinking it actually changes anything.
It doesn't.
To my mind the confused argument comes from those who want not to be called a cis-woman but are perfectly prepared to misgender someone. Respect is a two way street. It needs to be given and then it is reciprocated.

There is no loss of safe space. She has been working in this field for sometime and I have no doubt she has helped many women.

If only all this ire were focussed on the real problems.

You mean real problems like rape victims being seen by a man who decides he is a woman at that time and being forced to face their perceived prejudices about that before their own needs are addressed?

Doodledog I apologise for missing your some.
But the question I asked remains, if the comments on this thread were about a natal woman would you find them acceptable?

Callistemon all of that ispure fantasy and conjecture. You have no idea about what happens in the counselling process or when anyone would be expected to face their prejudices.
It may be that as part of a counselling process it is valuable and helps survivors to live a better life.

I've just read the direct comments from abused women who no longer trust that refuge.
I don't understand why you don't get that these abused scared traumatised women just don't want to go anywhere near anyone male at all either formerly of not.

I've never worked in a rape centre like that trisher, you're right.
But you have no idea what my career entailed albeit it 50 years ago and yes, times have changed. In those days it was all about the client, not about the counsellor challenging prejudices.

I dont understand what you mean trisher. Would I be concerned if a natal woman had breached the equality act in applying for a job, er yes. Would I comment on that er yes.

I actually find it really offensive that an assumption has been made that Wadwha knows more about rape because we haven't posted our rape status on an internet forum

I have been thinking about this today, the changing of language and letting transwomen run female services, it's just another subtle regression that we are told we have to accept otherwise we are bigots

trisher
You know that sexual violence services for women have always been female-only, for very good reasons?

You know that those services have been using successful methods of counselling already and that the violence survivors do manage to deal with the outside world afterwards?

There is no need for them to be continued with the idea that a male person must now be regarded as a woman.

Chewbacca

^this is a term that disrespects natal women^

It would appear that that doesn't matter any more pinkquartz. Only men can demand respect. Women have no rights to safe spaces, even when they're in trauma from abusive, violent men who have raped them. They have no right to single sex areas; men can demand access at all times (they don't even need to wear a frock). All men's rights trump a woman's. And if you're not comfortable with this you might like to reframe your trauma and have a positive relationship with it. We know this because a man said so.

Well said Chewbacca I agree wholeheartedly with this post.

Women are being dragged backwards regarding their rights it’s men, men, men over and above women and that’s what they are when they have a penis and testicles.