Weddings where children are not invited

I agree that the cost and the possibility of badly behaved offspring are key factors in the decision. It's the bride and groom's day so what they want if paramount. If invitees don't like it, they don't have to go!

When DD got married they only had a handful of children of close friends present, not everyone brought their offspring!

Neither of my daughters wanted children at their weddings. It was their day and their decision which I still stand by.
As a result of this, my brother didn’t speak to me for 2 years following the first wedding, as he wasn’t prepared to leave his 10 year old with anyone.
Needless to say, he wasn’t invited to the the second one and quite frankly I was released!

Yes Algerias well said.
It is a solemn occasion and sad some only marry for financial stability.
Invite children or not but matrimony is, or ought to be a serious union till death.

At my 1st wedding about 15 years ago I had a ‘no children’ policy. We hired a country estate for the weekend for us and the 30 guests and the reason I chose to have no children there was that in the evening, when adults are together, children get tired and ratty and need attention and want to go to bed, then the parent has to take them up and stay with them and therefore miss out on the evening entertainment. I just wanted all guests to completely relax and enjoy being catered for for the weekend -child free.

Alegrias1 Totally agree - it was our wedding day, for us not for the guests. We had one 5 year old there (my husband's nephew who was being raised by his parents) but that was all. It was a small registry office affair followed by a sit down meal for 40 family and friends. The childfree issue did not really come up as we were young (I was only 19) and none of our friends had children. However, if I was arranging a wedding today it would most certainly be childfree. I do not particularly like childen - we decided before we married not to have children, hands down best decision we ever made. Not everyone thinks its lovely to have children running round (not to mention the high pitched shrieking) at their wedding reception. Nothing to do with being entitled - just personal choice.

My son and daughter in law had to have a no children policy at their wedding apart from her niece and nephew who were a page boy and bridesmaid but I have to say they were heartbroken to have to do it .
They were both well into their 30s and lots of friends and cousins had 2 or more children each . When they did a headcount there would have been as many child guests of various ages as there were adults so they had to take that decision as it would just have become a childs party .
I think the majority understand and are happy to find a sitter and enjoy a child free day .
A lot of wedding venues these days just arent that child friendly either .

My niece got married a couple of weeks ago. It was one of the nicest weddings I’ve been to.

The reception was held in a marquee in a field up the road from the church and where some people camped in tents the night before. All their friends children were there. The groom had arranged games like, hit the rat, connect 4, and croquet for the children and it worked very well. Everyone was happy and we had a lovely day. Long drive home next day.

The wedding had to be postponed from last year because of Covit so they had plenty of time to plan it all.

I made my wedding a childfree affair after going to a wedding which was completely monopolised by rowdy excitable children. My guests took it too far and they assumed it excluded adult offspring - anyway my wedding was a lovely family affair, with aunts and uncles I hadn't seen for a while. There were 2 children, my bridesmaids who were my sister and niece. My 2 year old niece went round the guests telling them Uncles car is in daddy's garage!! So of course we found the car decorated with toilet rolls and tin cans!! That was over 50 years ago!!

When my son and his gorgeous wife were married 9 years ago all cousins and their children were invited but the behaviour of some of the smaller children was appalling. Their parents seemed to find this behaviour amusing but I felt really cross. I knew how nervous my son was at having to make a speech and how much love and emotion he’d put in to writing it and then practising it over and over. To have children disrupting that most nerve wracking and precious moment was heartbreaking.
I was sitting next to his new father-in-law and he too was nervous with shaking hands so I knew the disruption of these “brats” would affect him too. It’s rude and disrespectful of the parents to allow their small children to put a spoiler on such a special day.

I think it should be the Bride and Grooms choice and also to be considered is the size of the chosen venue . We are going to a child free wedding soon and the venue is quite small.

A simple solution: If the prospective bride and groom have stipulated this condition, it should be respected. If the proposed attendees are offended, don't attend.

The needs of children are taking over the adult world.

IMO, (see above), weddings are about a solemn joining together of 2 people, whether they are religious or not. They're not about having special events for the little darlings or having sweet little cherubs throwing tantrums as they walk down the aisle tossing flower petals.

My dad missed his favourite sister's wedding in the sixties because it was a working day, he couldn't get time off. Being at a wedding is not a human right and if you can't go because your child is breast feeding, that's a shame but not the end of the world.

(Hard hat on)

Our 5 yesterday old daughter was a bridesmaid. Our 2 other children were not invited as it was a no children policy . With hindsight, I should have said no to the bridesmaid request.

My son and his fiancée are marrying next year and she has 22 cousins all with children, the cost implications would be huge, so only children of immediate family members (ie his nieces and nephew are invited). Depends on size of family and circumstances

The only children at my wedding were my husbands 4 nieces and nephews and 2 of the bridesmaids, at the reception they had their own table with 1 set of parents on either side and we had an activity pack for them to keep them occupied, the nieces and nephews were staying at the hotel overnight so had a couple of rooms to go back to if they had needed to, but booking a smaller function room or a bedroom just for children or nursing mothers sounds a great idea and a good compromise

Mamgujane

Weddings - what a ridiculous waste of money. We’ve been happily unmarried for 52 years. Had a civil partnership arranged for the first day it was possible, chiefly to protect our pensions.
Fortunately our two children think the same. I don’t want to be the mother strapped and corseted into a ridiculous dress, in high heels I can’t walk in.
On the actual subject, children should always be allowed. I’m shocked that some people don’t want them at a wedding.

Sorry, but this just reads as I don't believe in weddings, they are ridiculous, but they should still be run the way I say they should

I had no children at my wedding - I think in some ways they spoil the ceremony by being noisy etc. I never took my children to weddings that i went to after I had them, always enjoyed a day out without them in all honesty. Up to each couple who they have in attendance.

I remember the weddings I attended as a child as being amazing, far more than the ones I have attended as an adult. One in particular, I attended with my grandparents (my younger brother was born around then, probably that was why parents didn’t go, as their contemporaries among the relatives were all there). I had desperately wanted to be a bridesmaid, but was too biddable a child to have kicked up any sort of fuss about it. The lovely bride, my Aunty (mum’s cousin) made sure all the kiddies who were not bridesmaids or best boys had a tiny posy and a horseshoe to hand to the couple and all were in a picture. I don’t remember any children running riot, but then I was a child myself and wouldn’t have noticed, but we just didn’t in those days or there would have been ructions.
At our own wedding 40 years ago, there were several family children who behaved beautifully, heavily outnumbered by their parents and grandparents. But a work colleague of DH and his wife, who I had not met, turned up with their (uninvited) nephew, saying “Hope you don’t mind”, what could we say. He had to be found an extra seat, and was extremely badly behaved! I seem to remember a couple of guests were taken ill at the last minute and couldn’t attend, but after the cut-off date to give the venue the numbers so we were charged for them anyway, but they had removed their seats - then charged us extra for the unexpected kiddy!

Weddings - what a ridiculous waste of money. We’ve been happily unmarried for 52 years. Had a civil partnership arranged for the first day it was possible, chiefly to protect our pensions.
Fortunately our two children think the same. I don’t want to be the mother strapped and corseted into a ridiculous dress, in high heels I can’t walk in.
On the actual subject, children should always be allowed. I’m shocked that some people don’t want them at a wedding.

I think every couple has a right to have their wedding as they want it. Whether that means no children, no family, a small or big wedding, or any other combination. It's their day and they have the right to decide what they want.

Ealdemodor - seems an irony in your post - on the one hand you're expecting adults who may be on a tight budget and not want their wedding bombed by what could be as many children as adults to 'conform' with your vision of family life, yet on the other as a grandparent you feel that to have your granddaughter stay with you for a couple of nights once in a while is too much - I am always amazed at the judgements people impose on how other people organise their weddings. and the same goes for funerals. These are personal occasions for those most connected and those invited have the option to go or not to go.

A friends daughter was getting married and they had a no children wedding. It turned out that the hotel that they were holding the reception charged the same amount for children as it did for adults and it pushed to costs up above the amount they had allowed.

We didn’t go to my husband’s brother’s wedding because our 18 month old daughter was not invited and we didn’t want to leave her. My DS and family went to a wedding - DiL and baby stayed in hotel while DS attended the ceremony. They all went to the reception but afterwards DiL admitted she would have had a better time if GD had been left with us. On the other hand, my family were annoyed when we attended a wedding (evening dress) without our baby.

It’s totally acceptable
It’s their wedding after all….don’t mean to sound harsh but you don’t HAVE to look after the GD if it’s too much for you….do they really need to be away for 2 nights? Their daughter is their responsibility

Children at the wedding. This is the couples choice. It’s another meal and very expensive. £35000 for a wedding if all our family and friends attended.
Then some of the children prefer nuggets and chips! Oh dear what to do, for a bit of a do!