Weddings where children are not invited

IMO it’s the bride and grooms day and if they decide to have a no children policy at their wedding it’s their choice! Their wedding their choice

Alegrias1

Mmm...I'm unpopular enough on GN today so I'll go the whole hog WWM2 .

My marriage is about 2 people, nobody else. I'm child free. I wasn't fond of children then. I'm not fond of them now.

I cannot imagine having a special games room for children at a wedding. Never been to such a wedding. Maybe its just me and my friends.

My nephew and bride are what would call alternative I guess.

But I’ve honestly never been to a child free zone wedding?

But on the other hand whatever floats your boat I guess.

Perhaps it’s a Scottish thing?

We married 45 years ago. We only invited 2 children. Mainly because our venue had limited capacity. Nowadays it is costly to provide meals and entertainment for little ones.
We went to a couple of child free weddings when our 3 DDs were young. No problem.
Most children see a wedding purely as a party and it occurs to me that parents don’t usually take small children to a evening party.

My DD had a no kids policy except the one flower girl who was her cousins daughter. Their wedding, their decision. If parents who had kids didn’t like it, they didn’t come. No big deal. At £60 per head there was no way we were going to pay for children too, 2 of her friends have 4 kids each. No one complained, from what I remember, the people that seemed to have the best time were the parents without their kids in tow!!!

Mmm...I'm unpopular enough on GN today so I'll go the whole hog WWM2 .

My marriage is about 2 people, nobody else. I'm child free. I wasn't fond of children then. I'm not fond of them now.

I cannot imagine having a special games room for children at a wedding. Never been to such a wedding. Maybe its just me and my friends.

Hetty58 the wedding of the year in Perugia was like that. My friend wasn’t invited, but the ‘no children’ on the invite was accompanied a note that said perhaps Gran (my friend) would like to go over and look after the children for the day!
One DGD who is contemplating marriage after Covid says hers is a ‘no children’ affair. I wonder if she’ll stick to it?

Why on Earth would you think a child would upstage you?

marriage is not just about two people is it? It is about the joining of two families, who will hopefully support and love the newly married couple. Be there in good and bad times which includes all the warts. Children are part of the package in my opinion. We are going to my nephews wedding in September and the children are all included and being specially catered for with their own food and outdoor games etc. He by the way does not have children neither does his soon to be wife.
Both my son and daughter had all the family children and none of them distracted the congregation at the ceremony. I can’t even remember the children at my wedding of which there must have been quite a few.

Children are the result of these unions and bring joy and love.

It is imo a very weird thing to want to exclude children from such an important part of family life.

I think it’s def up to the bridge and groom as it’s there day. When I got married in the 70’s we had a no children rule as several of the cousins invited had 4 or 5 children each and it would have increased the numbers and costs hugely. As a general rule I think it’s lovely to have children at weddings, but only if they are well behaved and quiet, especially during the proceedings. You’d hope that parents would take children out if they got fidgety or noisy but sadly that’s not the case. Now that the bride and groom are more likely to pay themselves, they probably choose more friends, instead of a host of unknown small relatives who they may never see again!

We were all invited to a ‘ no kids’ wedding. We couldn’t work out what we were supposed to do with them. It was across water too.

We didn’t go. We would love to have treated it as a family holiday, it was such a great opportunity.

Two days and nights is a long time for a three year old, and you if you’re sleep deprived. Not sure I would do it.

I'm seriously amazed at some of the comments. Not being argumentative, just seriously amazed.

I wasn't planning an event for guests; they were coming to see me married! (And DH as well, obviously ) My nephew was 3 months old when I got married. He didn't come. His mum and dad did. I've no idea where he was.

As for my self worth WWM2, my self worth is just fine. I just didn't want a child upstaging me or interrupting the serious bits. Sorry, its the truth

My youngest daughter is getting married next year. She has 7 nieces and nephews. Eldest being 12. Youngest not born at the moment. She wants them to be bridesmaids, page boys, flower girls etc etc.

I'm hoping large bribes will make for a peaceful ceremony.

(numbers)

Alegrias1, I think brides tend to forget that they're planning an event - for guests! Of course, they're puzzled when many decline because the terms don't suit them.

We were also invited, at the last minute, to a wedding abroad, involving expensive flights and a weekend hotel stay - and bill. We declined, then heard, later on, that we were on the 'B' list. So many had declined that they hoped to make up the numers!

It would never occur to me to exclude part of the family.

If the bride is worried that attention will be taken away, she needs to think seriously about her self worth.

I suspect we are one of the only countries in the world to be having this conversation.

We married in 1972, a smallish church wedding, but nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles were invited.

When my cousin married in 1976, it was no children. My sister took umbrage, she had 3, and didn’t attend. I was close to my cousin, the same age, and DH and I attended, my sister looked after our two but we would have asked the in-laws to if she hadn’t.

Fast forward 30 years when said sister’s own children married, no family members, let alone children, were invited.

A different matter when they were forking out for the wedding.

Hetty58 a lot of the time it's down to cost I remember my daughters wedding we had immediate family children but had to stop at that.
Her friends who did have children were more than happy to have a child free time

BlueBelle

What a strange country we are when we don’t include children in our lives but people dress dogs up in clothes and people spend big money on dolls that look like children or babies to give their love to
germanshepherdsmum ‘not everyone likes children’ what am I hearing well they darn well should, they were one once

Thankfully most weddings I ve been have been West Indian or Asian weddings and children are always a very big part of the ceremonies and the day Tally inclusive and lovely

Anybody who dresses up dogs in my line of sight gets told how ridiculous they are.

I like some children. I just don't like them just because they are children. ( Thanks Saga Noren )

Hetty 58, on my wedding day I wanted all the attention. That's the point.

Ealdemodor, I do agree with you. Weddings should be family occasions.

We were once invited to a 'no children' one. My husband replied straight away saying we couldn't attend - as our children weren't welcomed.

He thought the bride was just spoilt, wanting every bit of the attention!

This isn't something new as we were invited to a couple of no children weddings 30 + years ago when ours were small. One of these I know the groom later thought it was a mistake as many of his friends and family decided not to go.

What a strange country we are when we don’t include children in our lives but people dress dogs up in clothes and people spend big money on dolls that look like children or babies to give their love to
germanshepherdsmum ‘not everyone likes children’ what am I hearing well they darn well should, they were one once

Thankfully most weddings I ve been have been West Indian or Asian weddings and children are always a very big part of the ceremonies and the day Tally inclusive and lovely

Crying babies and badly behaved children can ruin things, and not everyone likes children! Bride and groom’s day, their choice.

There has been a shift in weddings - from family events to a day for the couple

From the parents of the bride and groom paying for the wedding to the couple paying themselves

It is the bride and groom's day - they choose what they want.

A party is very different with kids vs no kids - menu, entertainment, budget, etc

The guests can also choose not to attend because it is not convenient for them

The entitlement of family on wedding can be too much

My son and DIL went to a wedding recently, no children invited. They have 3 children and were absolutely delighted to have a child-free day and evening!

i went to a cousins wedding in the early 90s my son was only 5 at the time and i explained i could not go as i did not have a babysitter, she said bring him, the children are having there own party, they had set up another room with childminders for there children and all the child guests, my son loved it, they had set up food and drinks for the kids and had toys and sleep mats for any who got tired, all the mums and dads popped in and out to see that the kids were okay, i understand the no child policy but you can always send a card and gift. some weddings the parents just want to go on there own. i declined 2 invitations when my son was small and just sent a card and gift. it really is up to the couple who are getting married.

I had children at my wedding (not many as we are not a large family) but my brother didn’t at his, by which time I had two young children. He married in his bride’s home town which is hundreds of miles from me, and as all the family were invited I struggled for babysitters who could take two children for two nights.

We managed in the end, but my daughter was bitterly disappointed, and I was not impressed to find that the bride’s nieces were the same age as she was, and were bridesmaids.