Do you think 4 children is a ‘big family?’

We have two children (1 girl, 1 boy) - that was enough for me! Especially as they were born less than 2 years apart. They’ve always been very close and rarely argued. We couldn’t afford to have any more and the house was too small!
My Dad was the youngest of 10; his Mum died when he was a baby. 10 children in twenty odd years! He never showed us much actual affection, although he was a great Dad. I always think that was because he was never shown much affection himself as a child. Probably got lost in the crowd!!

Yes, by today’s standards, four is a large family.
Our four boys are our pride and joy, big, noisy, loving and full of fun. Wouldn’t want any more or any less.
If we get too concerned and everyone sticks to one, two or none at all we’ll end up like China with no younger population to look after the older generation or to pay taxes necessary to keep us all afloat.
I’m very proud of our contribution to a better future.

My husband is from a family of six children and my mother from a family of eight.

I have have three children and would have had more, but I was very ill during my last pregnancy and we nearly lost my daughter.
When I became very unwell, just after I got married and spent six weeks in high dependency, I was told I would never be well enough to have children. They certainly got that wrong!

I have one sibling, who i don’t see and dh is an only child with no other family. We have two children and two grandchildren, so yes I think 4 children is a big family.

Quietly I would have liked a larger extended family but it was not to be. As one AC is abroad, our entire family fits around a regular kitchen table. The Waltons we aren’t. Night Jon boy.

Anything over two is a big family to me. I have two DC and two GC.
I have two sisters, neither had DC and my DD opted not to have any.

Yes 4 is a big family - in view of the overpopulation crisis maybe no one should have more than 1 child per adult - or even none - also I can't imagine going through horrible pregnancy and birth more than once - at least the 1st time you don't know how horrible it all is

We adopted out second child, as there was to sign of me getting pregnant again. 6 years after our first was born we had another, a 4th 18 months later, and the 5th arrived 8 years later, when I was almost 40. 3 boys and 2 girls, alternately, so the age gaps were a bit of a problem. They had an upbringing with not a lots of luxuries, but plenty of love and attention. Most people gasped when told that we had 5 children, though we had neighbours with 5 and 4 respectively. We had no regrets, though the last pregnancy was a bit of a shock!.
Our adopted daughter has 2 children, now aged 22 and 18. The youngest two have one each, eldest son has none, and middle son has never married, and says that there are enough children in the world!
I think that our family was considered rather large, even 40-56 years ago, and most modern couples seem content with just one or two, preferring to spend their money on everyday living.

I’m wearing my hair shirt, Sodapop.

I’ve got 4, two from each marriage. It never felt like four as there’s 11 years difference. If I’d still been in my first marriage, I would have probably left it at 2 children.

Definitely an outcast now SueDonim

I was one of four and had four of my own. We were much criticised for being irresponsible but I always replied that my children would be an asset to the world and they certainly are.
Developed countries have fast-falling birth rates. Our children face an old-age population with insufficient workers. Who’s going to pay the taxes to provide vital services? Who’s going to
look after them when they’re ninety?

I’m one of 4, 2 have gone their own way, so no contact, one lives 80 miles away, so actually only me to look after ageing parents! My hubby is one of 6, only do anything with 2 of them!
4 is more than average, we have 2 children and 4 grandchildren, that’s enough for me ?

I was one of 2, as was my father, and I had 2 children myself, so any more than that seems large to me. If people choose to have more and can afford them then that is their choice.
I find it hard to imagine how you would cope when the children outnumber the parents, unless they were widely spaced in age. How would you ever get enough car seats in a car? How could you afford to go to visit theme parks or other attractions when a family ticket means 2 adults and 2 children? Or find a hotel room for more than 4? It never seemed feasible to me to have more than 2.

Maternal grandparents born in 1900 were both 1 of 8, 4 of each. They had 13 grandchildren.

Mum was 1 of 5 3 girls 2 boys
Dad was 1 of 3 1 girl 2 boys They had 10 grandchildren
Both born in 1930

I was 1 of 4 , 3 girls 1 boy 5 grandchildren so far and counting.
Husband 1 of 2 , 1 girl 1 boy

We have 3 daughters. ( My husband did not want 3- I did want 3 ) and it happened !!!

2 eldest have 2 children each. 1 girl followed by 1 boy Husbands did not want anymore.
Youngest daughter has 1 girl and expecting 2nd baby - gender to be a surprise but would like 3 children, if husband allows. He is youngest of 4 boys so hopefully
I love grandchildren! [ smile]
No I don't think 4 is a large family. Around here 3 or 4 seems normal.

I am one of 4 and it seemed quite natural to me to have 4 of my own but by some people’s reactions you would think I have 100’s, the, oh that is a big family or really, that many, makes me feel I have done something awful

No one has told me I’m socially or morally unacceptable for having four children. Is this something people are saying behind my back?

I'm one of 5 and my first husband was one of 6. Present husband is one of 4.
I remain very close to my sister-in-laws from first marriage and regularly see neices, nephews, etc.
We constantly moan about having so many relatives (we also have 4 children and 5 GC currently) but we love them all dearly and would move heaven and earth for them, if required.
I can't imagine not having masses of family around.
Anyway, to answer question, 4 is perfect! Enjoy them all!

Yes, 4 is a large family these days.

As someone said upthread it is not socially or morally acceptable nowadays to have a large family and it seems that any number over 2 is considered large.
That is probably a good thing and people will find new ways of socialising.

My DSis and her DH adopted DC who were no longer sweet little babies and had various problems, because already in the 1970s we were talking about overpopulation. Friends of mine today are going down that same route. Good luck to them.

Do you really think it's too hard a world we are bringing children into helgawills? I find that sad. We are all going to die some day, true, but a life without the meaning and hope that a new generation brings would be much too depressing to face.

DH and I have 4 adult children. That seemed perfect to us so we stopped at 4 . However , we had 3 in 5 years and the 4th 5years later. 1 boy , 3 girls .
I always feel there is a little boy missing out in that 5 year gap. He's even got a name .. Gabriel .
Now they are married there are 3 more adults, 4 DG at the moment and 3 dogs.
It's quite a party now when we get together.

i am the eldest of four children but never felt like that as my next sister was born 1 year and 11months after me (she got cross if you said 2 years) and my brother born when I was ten and my youngest sister was born when I was 20 and had left home so it felt much more that there were the two of us and then the baby brother. My sister has one daughter , I have one adopted son and my youngest sister has no children and my brother has two children so a total mix of situations. As a teacher and a lecturer I have found many varieties of family background but often found ,as I was, that the eldest was made responsible for the behaviour and faults of the younger siblings so that you got told off for your own misdemeanours , and also for what they did ; yet you were not allowed to smack or tell them off. If you told a parent you were considered a tell tale so no chance at all to be right! I am glad I have my sisters and brother as they can be trusted to tell me the truth if I ask for it and have been pleased to know they are around when I have been having a tough time.

I think 4 is a big family. DH & I both had 1 sister & we ourselves have 2 children & definitely didn't want more for many reasons. Several friends have 4, one lot have 5 and another, 6 but I could never have coped with more than 2.

I can't help but think of the Radford family. They certainly didn't stop at 4 they just kept going. Not sure how many children they have now.

There is a lovely young man who has bought and is renovating the garage attached to my home. I asked him if he had any brothers and sisters and he said "I'm the youngest of 16 -1, 13 and 2(marriages by his dad)"

My ghast was flabbered.

Growing up as a child, my next door neighbours were a family of ten children and two parents.

Not unusual in those days, but it certainly is now.