Has anyone got advice ex abusive husband been in touch after 30 plus years wanting to catch up?

Just said no to 'them' - who? A little confused. Does he want you to get in touch with you or do your children?

He was abusive to you. Definitely not. Tell him to get lost. Hopefully you're children are able to make up their own minds. Write them a letter, explain your position and clearly leave the door open for them. Good luck, this must be so hard for you.

Newatthis

Just said no to 'them' - who? A little confused. Does he want you to get in touch with you or do your children?

"Just said no then he blocked me"

I think.

well if this was 30 years ago, your children must be well into adulthood and perfectly capable of deciding for themselves, why does your ex husband come into this at all?

You have every right to turn down any contact with your ex, but unless your children are aware of how he treated you while you were married, they may well see that it is their right to have contact with their father, regardless.
They may have blocked you because they felt that you would stop them having contact with your ex.
You can only wait and see what happens and be aware that your ex may well be telling his side of the story (as he sees it) which will probably be totally different to what you remember.
Just bide your time and they will hopefully get back in contact

You were right to say no. What a world of hurt and bad memories that must have dredged up. If your ACs want to get in touch then they will, I know it’s hard but ‘wait and see’ is the best course for now.

You were right to say no to the ex.

AC may not be answering because they don't want to be involved at the moment.
Don't send them lots of messages - give things time to settle for a while.

Definitely blocking him was the right thing to do. Sadly, if your children have lived with him for a long time, they may have adopted his attitude. I would stop sending messages for the moment.

'No' was the only response you could have made in the circumstances Bartsmom.

As for your AC, I wouldn't send any more messages for the time being. You've posted that s/he only got in contact with you recently after both choosing to live with their father.

You have the right to not be in contact with the man who used to abuse you, and if your AC can't or wont see that, I think s/he has some growing up to do.

I do hope s/he gets in touch soon but would let things lie for now.

An abusive husband, now on his third marriage? Really don't get involved. Don't let him into the life you have built for yourself. He may well just have wanted a chance to get a few unpleasant digs in.

It's sad that you may lose all chance of contact with your two oldest children but after 30 years you may have very little in common with them. They are adults now and will have to make up their own minds about you.

Apart from “Run a mile - in the opposite direction” ?
Not really.