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House proud people

(244 Posts)
etheltbags1 Thu 19-Aug-21 10:06:05

I'm beginning to hate House proud people, not for their homes but for the way they try to convert me. I'm not House proud, hate routine and cleaning. However my home is clean where and when necessary, loo cleaned daily, kitchen bleached often etc. My aunt (91) told me I don't deserve a home if I don't keep cleaning, she does her cupboards monthly. She reckons I should be in care home. Another relative spends all day cleaning and tries to put me down very scornfully. My mother cant do as much as she used to but moans about how she would like to do more, I keep telling her ways to cut corners to make life easier but she thinks if something is difficult that's better. I'm at my wits end, I have a friend who is like me we are both working past retirement and hate housework and just do it when necessary, she keeps me sane but how can i stop these holier than thou people who seem to want to get me to be a slave to bricks and mortar. They really believe they are right. Help

Lilyflower Fri 20-Aug-21 17:26:58

I use household tasks like Hoovering as my exercise regime. Saves paying a gym fee and the house looks sparkling and restful. Mess makes me anxious and the DH is as eager as I am to live in a calm and elegant house. In the morning I am the housemaid and in the afternoon I am the Duchess of Downton.

Rosina Fri 20-Aug-21 17:26:26

A lovely friend gave me a small framed text years ago; she had the most beautiful handwriting, and had used a parchment paper with a dried African Violet in the corner.
It read 'An immaculate home is a sign of a wasted life'. Never a truer word - your housekeeping standards are your business, and I will add another 'saying' that may help you to ignore them.
'Other people have only the power that you give them'.

Dcba Fri 20-Aug-21 17:23:13

Thanks for that - bit of a mind numbing subject. Why would anyone think it’s worth of a GN discussion thread!

Amberone Fri 20-Aug-21 17:14:41

narrowboatnan

When we die we return to dust. I don’t dust any more in case I’m disturbing some one I know ?

???

queenofsaanich69 Fri 20-Aug-21 16:58:53

I think the old dear just doesn’t want people to find her house dirty when she dies.Also that is some people’s idea of exercising ! I find keeping the place tidy works,no one notices the dust ( especially as they aren’t allowed in the house) but the spiders seem happy.

narrowboatnan Fri 20-Aug-21 16:55:25

When we die we return to dust. I don’t dust any more in case I’m disturbing some one I know ?

Brownowl564 Fri 20-Aug-21 16:53:07

Nobody ever said, on their deathbed, I wished I had cleaned more.
They need to get a life

Ilovecheese Fri 20-Aug-21 16:49:40

Previous generations would have had to spend more time on housework, for one thing, not everyone had a washing machine or the money to pay a laundry. Then houses would have been grimier because of coal fires, even things like the front door would have been dirtier in a city because of heavy industry and no clean air act.
That was a wife's job, to keep the home and family clean and healthy.
We don't need to spend so much time now, which must be a bit difficult for someone in their nineties to get to grips with.
They might feel that being dismissive of housework is somehow saying that their "job" of being a housewife was a waste of their time, and so by extension that they have wasted a lot of their life, which would not be true, although that would not have been the intention.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 20-Aug-21 16:32:47

Talk about something else to these women!

I enjoy housework, but loathe gardening and have had some comments about the untidiness of my garden.

The last person who tried to tell me I should be ashamed of my front garden, I told to mind her own business.

Admittedly, she isn't an elderly relation, If she had been I might have phrased the sentiment a little more politely and simply said, "It is my garden, and I like it the way it is".

How you run your house or keep your garden is your business, so please do try to ignore this annoying women.

Musicgirl Fri 20-Aug-21 15:58:46

I like a clean and tidy home but l am not keen on housework. Fortunately for me I have a cleaning lady who comes every Wednesday morning and gives the house a thorough cleaning. This means that I only have to do a certain amount inbetween. I may be seen as lazy but l work very hard in term time and this is one of my luxuries. It also helps to provide an income for my cleaner so I do not feel guilty at all.

LuckyFour Fri 20-Aug-21 15:35:11

I've never had a conversation with anyone about how often we clean the house. I haven't the faintest idea whether other people's bathrooms or kitchens are cleaned every day or once a year. It's not something I would speak or ask about. Stop talking about it, do as you like, ignore everyone else. If I go inside someone's house it's because I want to see them not how clean their house is. Nobody cares.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 20-Aug-21 15:21:53

Haha, I’m sure I will too elleks! Will we ask anyone to do anything about it though?!

elleks Fri 20-Aug-21 15:15:34

Germanshepherdsmum

I loathe housework and find any excuse to do something else. As and when really necessary is fine by me so long as basic hygiene is observed. I know someone who seems to spend her life cleaning despite living alone, what she thinks of me I shudder to think. Lockdown was a godsend, no unexpected visitors! Some healthy posts on here I think - I won’t be lying on my deathbed thinking I really should have dusted more often.

I might be lying on mine and notice a cobweb on the ceiling though!

ElaineRI55 Fri 20-Aug-21 15:07:27

As long as a house is clean enough to be safe to eat in, kitchen surfaces aren't covered in muck, family and visitors won't get stuck to chairs they sit on, and the toilet is fairly clean, I don't think any of us should bother. If someone is very house proud, on the other hand, just go along with their rules and admire their energy if we wouldn't spend as long cleaning.
We're all different - tolerance, respect and friendship are surely more important than criticising someone for being too messy or too house proud.
I probably clean a bit more thoroughly now I'm retired, but don't bother if I don't get through what I intended. We do, unfortunately, have friends we no longer stay overnight with because we do find the amount of dust, dog hair and dirty surfaces a bit hard to cope with. Wouldn't dream of stopping being friends with them, though.

Amberone Fri 20-Aug-21 15:06:35

123kitty

Why is practically everyone so proud of doing as little housework as possible. You make it sound as if it's some sort of competition.

Funny isn't it ??? almost like a competition to see who has the most interesting life. But any thread to do with housework goes the same way.

My house is clean and tidy because I like it that way. It doesn't get in the way of my interesting life at all and I have no interest in what other people think of it. It was less clean and less tidy when I was working and raising a family, and that didn't bother me either. I don't have a schedule, I do things as and when I want. Cursed with perennial rhinitis I can't afford to have a dusty house anyway. And to be quite honest don't want to share our home with the viruses, bacteria, dust mites and other beasties that gather in dust.

Strawberry10 Fri 20-Aug-21 15:05:57

You know what they say....
A clean house is the sign of a wasted life

MaggsMcG Fri 20-Aug-21 15:03:39

All of you seem to clean more than I do. I only clean when I can be bothered I wash up the dishes ever day and wipe the surfaces but I don't clean the kitchen floor every week or dust every week. I have even been known to keep the same duvet cover for 2 weeks or even more. I'm healthy and my house isn't that bad. I do tend to clean it a bit more if someone comes to visit.

varian Fri 20-Aug-21 14:53:12

I once heard it said that you could be a cook or a cleaner but not both. I think this is true of most of my friends although the cooks do not entirely avoid cleaning and some cleaners do cook well, but they tend to be recipe cooks rather than creative cooks. It is a matter of priorities.

Happysexagenarian Fri 20-Aug-21 14:23:33

mrsgreenfingers56

Love that poem, so very true!

Mariel Fri 20-Aug-21 14:19:09

My grandmother described a lady she knew who was ultra house proud as ‘having the mind of a housemaid!’

Happysexagenarian Fri 20-Aug-21 14:15:27

Life's too short to spend it with a duster in your hand! There's far more interesting things to do.

I clean bathrooms and kitchen work surfaces daily, and everything else as and when I fancy doing it, or when it looks too bad to ignore any longer!

If someone is coming to visit I make a special effort which I'm doing at the moment, though my asthma is slowing me down so I just do a bit each day. It will all be clean by the time they get here.

My Mum was houseproud with #what was visible, but if you moved the furniture the dust, dirt and hair etc was revealed, and don't even look in the cupboards!!

I once worked with a woman whose house was clinically clean, you could actually smell the bleach as you stepped through the front door. If anyone used the bathroom while visiting her she immediately slipped upstairs to clean it again. She worried about her children catching 'things'. But her children had more stomach upsets, allergies and days off school than mine ever had. She thought I was terrible because I didn't vacuum every day.

crazygranny Fri 20-Aug-21 14:03:52

Just take no notice of them. Live life your own way and be happy. If their conversation drives you mad try changing the subject.

Nansypansy Fri 20-Aug-21 14:02:48

Thank gawd there’s other people like me! I can find much more exciting things to do than constant housework! As you say, when necessary I can get it pretty reasonable but as I live on my own I don’t need to impress anyone most of the time!?

Dickens Fri 20-Aug-21 13:54:16

Deedaa

As long as my house is free from fleas, mice and any other "things", no one has been poisoned and we all have clean clothes to go out in I'm really not that bothered. My main argument about house work is that you can spend hours forensically cleaning and nobody will even notice.

Deedaa

Your last sentence nailed it for me.

"My main argument about house work is that you can spend hours forensically cleaning and nobody will even notice."

When I've sometimes had a bout of 'forensic' cleaning and pointed it out to my partner, he says things like... "oh, it looked fine anyway - always looks clean to me"

I'm glad you said what you said because I was planning a bit of a marathon clean over the weekend, and now I'm really not going to bother... there are more pleasurable things to do in life.

Daisydaisydaisy Fri 20-Aug-21 13:51:48

Whats it got to do with them...probably jealous as they havent much else exciting to do with their lives..carry on being you smile