House proud people

Just nod solemnly and agree , then clean as you see fit . One friend of mine has a four bedroom house , lives alone , but changes all the beds and cleans all the rooms as if they were in daily use !

As long as my house is free from fleas, mice and any other "things", no one has been poisoned and we all have clean clothes to go out in I'm really not that bothered. My main argument about house work is that you can spend hours forensically cleaning and nobody will even notice.

Ignore them. It sounds as if you've got a healthy attitude and they haven't.

^My aunt (91) told me I don't deserve a home if I don't keep cleaning, she does her cupboards monthly.

They really believe they are right.
Presumably they have nothing else going on in their lives

I definitely don't deserve mine then ?

I do the bare minimum in the house, especially since lockdown meant that nobody saw it. . I can notice dust and not clean it until the mood takes me. Life is too short! If anyone was rude enough to mention it I would laugh and continue as before. We are all different, but I know I am less stressed than the houseproud!

I totally agree with you Ethel, I loathe and abhore house work and only do it when it has to be done, kitchen floor done maybe three times a week,toilet every night and bleach put down, don’t dust until the Sun shows it up, same with hoovering till it’s very obvious it gets left…. Don’t mind doing the washing and taking it off the line but obviously the ironing is a big fat no no ?????

etheltbags1

I'm beginning to hate House proud people, not for their homes but for the way they try to convert me. I'm not House proud, hate routine and cleaning. However my home is clean where and when necessary, loo cleaned daily, kitchen bleached often etc. My aunt (91) told me I don't deserve a home if I don't keep cleaning, she does her cupboards monthly. She reckons I should be in care home. Another relative spends all day cleaning and tries to put me down very scornfully. My mother cant do as much as she used to but moans about how she would like to do more, I keep telling her ways to cut corners to make life easier but she thinks if something is difficult that's better. I'm at my wits end, I have a friend who is like me we are both working past retirement and hate housework and just do it when necessary, she keeps me sane but how can i stop these holier than thou people who seem to want to get me to be a slave to bricks and mortar. They really believe they are right. Help

At 91, she will have gone through the years when women’s roles were much different . It was the done thing to stay home, cook, clean, look after the children, as I was lucky enough to be able to do until the children all started school. So her outlook will be very different, at 91 ,a marvellous age, still able to clean her own cupboards out.

Housework is for people who have little else in their life.
I live mine.

I loathe housework and find any excuse to do something else. As and when really necessary is fine by me so long as basic hygiene is observed. I know someone who seems to spend her life cleaning despite living alone, what she thinks of me I shudder to think. Lockdown was a godsend, no unexpected visitors! Some healthy posts on here I think - I won’t be lying on my deathbed thinking I really should have dusted more often.

Send them round here to expend that house working energy on my chaos!

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Aunty Acid has some advice …

Years ago I worked with a lady who used to boast, "You could eat your dinner off my mother's floor," it was so clean.
I always felt like saying, "We have plates..."

I am "allergic to housework", since lockdown I have three bedrooms I have never been in except to get summer clothes.
My mother despaired with me.
When I worked and had a husband who worked very late and every other weekend I had a cleaner. When I retired and moved we do the bare minimum between us. He has jobs that he likes and I dust and clean , bathroom, utility, Kitchen etc once a week and more if a room needs it I do have a system of everything in its place so superficially it all looks tidy not many ornaments or photos around.
Whenever I feel I should do more I remember a friend who had to dust an ornament before she passed it to me to look.
She lived her life as she wanted and once everything is safe I will still be doing the same.
Luckily I have like-minded friends and when they used to pop in they did not mind.
My two grans were the complete opposite of each other my mothers like herself the other like me, slightly worse if I remember pushing things under setee cushions or under the setee, out of sight out of mind.I know who had a happier and more fulfilling life.
If they give you a guilt trip invited them to come and do yours to their satisfaction, they will not but might shut up.

I have plenty in my life timetogo but am unashamedly house proud. Always have been, even as a little girl I'd potter around my bedroom with my mum's duster and hoover. Some people enjoy housework and some don't; we're all different aren't we.

You shouldn't be castigated for the way you keep your home ethelbags, nor should anyone. I would tell your aunt that it's your home and you'll keep it the way you want too.

Over the years on more than one occasion I've had uncalled for comments because I am house proud. Water off a duck's back for me so let any criticism be water off a duck's back for you too.

I've got a rota system for cleaning the rooms, but it largely depends on how my back is on any one day.
As long as it's reasonable I don't really care. Life is too short to worry about a bit of dust.

Is it possible that these house-proud nonagenarians are just worried about dying and other folk finding their house in a mess?

My Mum spent more time cleaning and tidying when she was in her nineties and seemed to put the washing machine on every other day.

I don't mind housework at all but I am having a more relaxed attitude to it as I get older. Pets seem to generate a lot of work but make up for it with love and companionship.

Just ignore the comments ethelbags life is too short.

Why is it necessary to be scathing about people who are house proud? I don't keep our home the way I do because I worry about anyone finding my home in a mess for 2 reasons; 1) It will never happen and 2) I love my home and enjoy keeping it clean and tidy.

What dirt is there going to be in a 91-year-old's cupboards in a month for heaven's sake. Or a much younger person's for that matter. Am presuming food cupboards here, unless you habitually put jars of leaky jam on their sides or holey flour bags, in which case that's different, what's wrong with an annual go through of the cupboards to get rid of/use up old half empty jars/packets etc, ok maybe twice a year if you are 'slovenly'. As long as things are clean and you are happy with that, that should be enough. Keep up with it on a day to day basis, vacuum when it needs it, keep the loo clean and keep on top of the washing up and kitchen surfaces, and be a bit careful you use the old stuff in your cupboard first and in general you probably only need to do deep cleaning occasionally when needed
Oddly I was watching one of those programmes last night with someone with a cluttered house in need of deep cleaning was paired with someone who spent hours cleaning and bleaching their house. One of the 'clean ' people had started cleaning after her son died so she could feel in control of her life, if she felt bad she would clean, the other was lonely as her husband worked away, and cleaned to fill her time. The first lady decided to seek help for her obsession, the second lady started volunteering to clean friends' houses, and considered getting a job. Often those on the other end of the spectrum too, have had a trauma, a death, or other such loss leading to difficulties. Both deserve help. If you are somewhere in the middle and your house is safe and you are happy, all is well. I thought last night that the lady who was bored could maybe do gardening or volunteer for a good cause if she didn't want a job, rather than clean unnecessarily, or even do some fun study or join a club but everyone is different. I'd love her to come and clean my house though lol
If Aunt is happy doing what she does, fine, but she'd not be happy if you started telling her she was boring and should do something interesting

just smile and say nothing ...its your home .you can do as you like ...

My neighbour noticed us getting in the car a few weeks ago; after the usual chit chat etc we said we were going our for a few hours - the weather was lovely and far too nice to be stuck indoors. Her comment................" Oh dear me, going out on a Wednesday, we clean our bathroom on a Wednesday " ! Why would anyone structure their lives around a blooming cleaning timetable? My motto - I can clean inside when it's raining outside! I frequently do the ironing after dark too ?‍♀️

I do want I think needs to be done when I see it such as dusting and hoovering. As far as I’m concerned as long as there’s clean bathrooms, kitchen and bedding then I’m happy and no one else matters. My dog creates quite a bit of hair so with wooden floors it’s easy. I don’t knock house proud people or those that are not, it’s up to the individual.

The only concerning thing to me are those that hoard, to the detriment of their mental health.

It's often detrimental to their physical health too Mattsmum.

My DH was brought up by an extremely houseproud mother.
She used to come into our house, and surreptitiously run her fingers over my surfaces. She never found much dust.
My standards are way below hers! Over the years DH has got used to the state of our house. I dust when it needs doing, same with the vacuuming. I wash the kitchen floor as needed, same with the bathrooms. Life is too short to worry about house work!