Good Morning Friday 20th August 2021

Is it unfriendly? I hadn't noticed but then our timelines are a bit different so maybe I missed something. Another beautiful day in lockdown and when the weather is like this and you can get out into the garden I don't mind. At least I can do some weeding which I don't usually have time for. Have a good day everyone....

I'm completely lost!!

I agree lavenderzen, very sad to see such a friendly thread being spoilt in this way, and unfair to Mick too. Just because one poster is not mentioned by another. I hope people will not be driven off this thread by these comments.

How very sad this thread has turned into this (post 09.16 was the start, and I knew it would be).

Why can people just not let things be. This is a lovely thread, I have enjoyed it for many years. What does it matter how long posts are and what references are made, it really doesn't.

I, and I suspect, many others enjoy the posts whether long or short, particularly Mary's. It is good these days to have a smile and also to be able to pass on thoughts to people who are struggling.

I would add, I have been on here for years, not under this name, I had to re-register when the internet failed. I have always enjoyed this thread. Such a shame.

This has indeed always been a kind and supportive thread to which I have offered and received both kindness and support since joining here in 2012. I did not mention anyone personally, I genuinely didn’t intend to cause any upset by my observations but I care enough that no one should feel left out/ignored in favour of those on lists only, worth a mention as I and others have noticed.
This may be the way things will be on our GM thread now and I am behind the times.
It wasn’t at all my intention to upset anyone and I sincerely apologise if I have.

I think it’s quite difficult to remember all who have posted something that it would be nice to make a response to. I know I’m guilty of not mentioning everyone, but it’s not an intentional omission. The truth is, by the time I’ve read through the posts (of which there are quite a few by the time I post), I can’t always recall who has said what, and I think it’s quite difficult on this forum to keep scrolling back and forth, so those that stick in my mind (and, importantly, the name of the poster who said it) will get a mention. I can only apologise to those I miss out, but it’s certainly not done with intent.

The other thing I’m doing increasingly now, is skimming posts if there are lots of them, so that parts of posts get missed by me, and I’m afraid that probably happened with dragonflies post yesterday as I missed her comment about her friends funeral. I’m so sorry that you have been unable to attend the funeral and send you my condolences ?.

I think there are many of us who don’t get a mention, or only very occasionally, but personally speaking, I don’t get upset by it. As I say, there are so many posts, some fairly long (like this is becoming ??), that’s it’s difficult to remember who said what sometimes, but I’m sure omission isn’t done deliberately.

Oh dear , so sad that people are upset. Certainly not what this thread is meant to do.
I would hope we can all try not to take any omissions in our names not being mentioned personally . Sometimes a remark I have made gets some comments bother times not a whisper. That’s the way it goes.
It’s hard to remember everything you have read and I most often put a general ‘ thinking of all ….

When DH died earlier this year I received some very kind messages of sympathy and support on the GM thread. Seeing as I don't post here I was very touched.

When I posted my thanks I explained that I would find it hard to keep up with all the goings on and would hate to upset anybody. The responses were light hearted and one poster jokingly suggested I should wake up earlier to avoid rush hour!

This kind and supportive thread has existed mostly without conflict for a very long time so it's normal for the odd spat/misunderstanding to rear its head and ruffle feathers. It will soon die down. That's life!

Don't fall out, folks. It's not worth it.

Greyduster, I have always regarded you as a measured and kind poster. Just keep being who you are, please don't change.

As I said, I really don’t care who says what to whom, but my only concern was that if we have posters regularly referencing comments made either on another thread or on previous days on this thread, it will very soon send the thread off course. That’s why I respectfully requested that they try not to do it. That’s all. I really wish I hadn’t raised the matter. I wouldn’t want to see anyone leave the thread, and I have tried to be balanced in my comments, but if I have upset anyone here by what they perceive to be too rigid an attitude, I can only say I’m sorry.

Oh, Marydoll, I’m sorry you have been upset by thoughtless posters. Try not to take it personally… ❤️❤️❤️

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

How sad, I’ll miss your GM posts muse but will catch up in the kitchen. I’m sorry too I missed your post dragonfly, I’m usually an early poster, sometimes skim reading subsequent posts later in the day, when if I do repost, I’ve often taken notes, as there’s a lot to recall.
What a shame that this normally cheery start to the day has come under such scrutiny. I’m always conscious I might offend someone by not referring to them, so maybe not posting at all is better than a sterile few factual lines with no empathy or emotion.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Muse, I am not even going to dignify this post with a full explanation. I shall keep my own counsel and not engage in a public spat with you. No-one has accused you personally of doing anything.

You are not the only one, who is angry and upset. I have had enough of the situation. I will leave it at that, but I will not be made to feel uncomfortable, posting on a forum which I have posted on for years.

I am sorry if I have caused offence to anyone by not referring to their news. My memory is rather poor at the moment (depression /stress/ grief). Like others I find solace in this thread. It distracts me and often galvanises me into action. It usually reminds me my burdens are light in comparison to others. I feel a sense of membership. My contributions are rather dull and similar but it is lovely to know other people are thinking of me as they read. Please let's accept people use/take from this thread what they can. Thinking of everyone. x

There is a reason for my post here, a day later. Some may read it and some will pass it by.

My usual day is waking up late because my sleep pattern has been erratic for many years. I always visit Mick's thread first and usually have about 40 post to read. A very enjoyable hour as I post as well. Yesterday my post was listed just after your's dragonfly42 so I missed it. However, I always drop by at sometime to catch up. Yesterday was different, my catch up, after my post, was reading so many comments about cliques, styles of posting and choice of words used. I wish I had back tracked and seen yours. It sadness me that no one, including myself, gave you any support yesterday. I didn't go back onto the thread again until much later in the day. Such a sad day for you dragonfly42

Yesterday, Scentia, GrandMattie and Jamie talked about why they read and post on here. Their words resonated with me. There are some GNers who live with their DH but family are far away and some have very few, if any friends, that live close by and call regularly. Some GNers live by themselves in a similar situation. I fall into one of the groups. GN has become a lifeline for me, like many. That's one reason why I include sometimes as many as 9 posters (as it was the other week)in my posting. I shouldn't have to explain why I post so many comments but I have. I have explained twice in the past why I make notes whilst reading? I shouldn't have to but I did.

However, I can't understand how the few on this Friday thread can post comments, in such a way, knowing it could and perhaps will upset or anger that person it is directed towards. If that was the intention, then you have succeeded.

When I joined GN 9 months ago, one GNer told me about soop's kitchen. I started to post on there and through recommendation again, I started an almost daily post on Mick's thread. In both places, advice and support is quite often given to each other. I've given and received lots over the months. I am fully aware that the perception of me has changed, with a few GNers, over the past few months here but undeterred I continued to enjoy posting.

I'm not taking a break from all my postings as I'm continuing to read and post on soop's kitchen but I am saying a very sad farewell to Mick's thread.

Greyduster I rarely post on here but do agree with your post I usually skim read and only fully read the posts I find interesting. My bugbear is posters making veiled reference to items that have appeared on another thread without referencing the thread reminds me of the playground where schoolgirls would band together and let others know they had a secret. This is my opinion

Grey I have noticed a few times now a poster chooses to highlight and mention, sometimes, 5/6 posters chosen from throughout thread and omits to acknowledging those posters in between who also have worries/news to share. Something which I know, can upset those, not on the list.
As ixion has mentioned, a poster referring to her notes, I’m afraid we have gone way past finding a middle ground sadly.

ixion - Agreed. I'm not a regular poster on any thread but I have read GM thread on occasions and agree with everything you have said, I just can't remember everyone, what they've been up to/what they are doing, not going to 'note-take' so don't want to individualise anyone by responding to some and not others. That for me isn't right.

I really enjoy the GM thread and always visit there first.
I don't get any feeling of cliqueiness but rarely post as either I have nothing interesting to report, or I just feel overwhelmed by all the reciprocal conversations and would be mortified to feel that I hadn't given posters appropriate recognition.
In fact, when one poster recently said that she referred to her notes, that did it for me! I gave up all this business minute taking and circulation lists on retirement and it's certainly not anything I want to be doing in retirement!

Kalu that suggests an all or nothing approach. Either the thread goes back to being what it always was and mentions no-one, which I am not advocating, or, one would have to scrutinise it continually to make sure that no-one is overlooked, which would be virtually impossible to keep up with and it then becomes ponderous, stretching throughout the day and losing the essence of what a “Good morning” thread was supposed to be. I, a bear of very little brain, have no idea what the middle ground would be.

I don’t have any problem with long chatty posts, I enjoy reading them and I am not suggesting these type of posts should be changed. Neither am I saying we shouldn’t acknowledge anyone in our posts.
What concerns me is when, sometimes, half a dozen poster’s names are highlighted for a mention only, ignoring the fact that other posters also have worries/concerns they have posted about yet are left wondering why no one seems to care about or acknowledge your worries too. This is when our lovely thread is in danger of becoming cliquey and not the supportive thread for all of us.

I think the follow on from the previous day comments is what happens in conversation , this Morning thread used to be confined to the one day and was easier to join in , not really expecting a reply , but just a note in passing , I hope everyone just keeps posting , I would hate to lose posters , long or short ,!

No one is trying to dictate a narrow pathway for Mick’s thread. I don’t think I suggested that we shouldn’t refer to other posters. I don’t care how long the threads are these days - if they are too long, I simply skip them. I like the essence of the thread as it has always been, but that’s just my preference and it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s. What I was trying to get over was that, occasionally, you will see a poster refer to something another poster has said, when that poster hasn’t yet posted that day, which is confusing, and it is clear that this reference is from comments made on the previous day. If you like, this is when the thread becomes “over conversational” and loses its way. If this was to become a habit, to refer to a previous day to see what someone is talking about, as often happens on other threads, would be tedious in the extreme and certainly would drive people away.