Emigrating at 72

Newatthis - I am presuming you posted because your friend has asked for your opinion - as you say she gets on with her dil - and you think she should go but you don't say what your friend thinks. If your friend has asked for your opinion and you've told her that you're canvassing wider opinion from people in a similar age group and possibly with similar experiences, then I don't see any problem with asking for ideas from this group, after all several points have come up about climate and language differences, and possibly reliance on the son for financial support. If you think they should go then you must be saying so because you know their personalities, and their levels of resilience and you could tell her that you're basing your view on that understanding.

Personaly I dont's see the point of living in the future ie what would happen.
I have a notice up in my office from the Dala Lama
'Man sacfitices his health
in order to make money.
Then he sacrfices his health.
And then he is so anxious
about the future that he does
Not enjoy the present: the result
being that he does not live
in the present or future:
He lives as if he is never going to die
and then dies having never really lived.'

Please take Man for man and woman!

Oh hell yes go for it. Long time dead. As long as they decide for themselves. Grandchildren are the greatest joy. I would move to the end of the earth to be with mine if I had too.

I think that you have to think very carefully about emigration when you are old.

For a start, Brexit has obviously made a difference, as it may be more difficult to make the move and things like healthcare are likely to be more expensive than they used to be.

It's nice that her son is financially willing and able to support them. However, there are several things which might happen to change the situation. He might lose his job. He might get divorced and have a second family to support - these things do happen. He might become ill and unable to work. He might even, God forbid, die. Or your friend might need treatment for serious illness or long-term care. That doesn't come cheap when it's private and it's not always easy to get health insurance when you're old. Your friend's son could end up with very big bills to pay and, although he may be willing, she might feel bad about it.

There's also the possibility that, when people move to be nearer to their kids, the kids might get an opportunity which would involve them moving away. That could mean moving again, staying in a place where you didn't know anyone, or knowing that your family had given up an opportunity for your sake.

I realise that these are all gloomy scenarios which might never happen. If they did, I suppose that it would be possible to pack up and come home. I just think that it is important for anyone to bear in mind, when considering this sort of move, that their family's circumstances might change and so might their own. A couple in their early 70s in good health can probably deal with change fairly easily. That might not be the case further down the line, when they are older and frailer and maybe on their own.

Sorry to be such a pessimist but anyone contemplating such a move has to think about what might happen and how they would cope. Particularly when they are older and find it harder to bounce back.

Azalea99. Couldn’t agree more. The OP wasn’t asking for advice, just merely asking for our thoughts.

All I can add is that Austria isn’t that far away. The daughter can visit and the OP can visit the UK too.

My daughter lived in Salzburg, Austria until last week. It is a beautiful place with a high standard of living but also very expensive. There does not seem to be an NHS so healthcare is pricy but lots to like about living there.

There's no guarantee that she will be allowed to emigrate. An elderly friend wanted to go to be with her DD and family who had good jobs, could arrange health insurance for her and had a house built for her in their garden. Because of health issues she was not initially accepted and the process dragged on for years. Eventually she died before she was able to be with them.
Much the same happened to friends who wanted to go to Canada.

What is the difference between moving to Spain or Austria? Do you mean Australia? As you mentioned sponsorship. Either way they would have the son and his family near by, their daughter in the UK so she was obviously ok with them going to Spain, so visiting them she will she her brother and his family at the same time.

I used to go on coaching holidays to Austria years ago, very beautiful place.

Seeing the friend has a son in Austria, and a daughter here in England; how abouts giving it a go spending half the year in each country? Oops, I heard coz of Brexit there's a 3 month limit abroad. But surely as they've a son there, there could be a way round?

Otherwise they could just spend an extended holiday in the warmer months.

Just a thought.

I can't see why asking for an opinion is so contentious. The OP's friend is not identified in any way so why was it implied that it is somehow a breach of confidentiality?

Also, it is just a talking point, that others may have some useful input about.

People, even people who are on very good terms and close, can get on each other's nerves after a while so I think, rather than making a final decision, it is best to have a fairly prolonged period of time trying it out first. The language thing would concern me and what the situation would be regarding health care.

I don't know how it is in Austria but an elderly friend of mine who emigrated to Canada had to wait a long time for her request to be accepted.

I think the Dalai Lama will not have the same practical concerns as most people so could afford to be laid back about such issues.

Obviously, much depends upon the individual! I would be happy to try living in another place, at least for a while, and I'm 73.
Living permanently somewhere other than the UK does require some thought, though! Age and medical treatment do need to be considered, as does the cost of living. Pensions may not be increased annually for Britons living abroad. Would the people considering the move, be OK if/when one partner passes away? Are they confident of making new friends in their proposed new location? Can family members afford to travel to Austria, if Mum & Dad move permanently?
If they are happy, and have thought this through - why not?
I would go!

I would only add that no-one knows what could be around the corner once we hit our older age. 11 years ago I was pretty healthy and full of energy. Then an autoimmune disease hit but I was still able to fly back and forth to Australia until 7 years ago, age 72. Age 74 I met with an accident which caused serious medical issues and following that, at 76, a still more serious autoimmune disease. I can’t fly, or even drive, anywhere any more and am just thankful that I am here where the NHS, which of course I paid into through my working life, pays for my life sustaining medication.
I miss the family very much but am thankful I never agreed to join them in a country where every visit to a doctor and every tablet has to be paid for and instead of being a help I would be a burden.

The sensible thing would be to keep a small property in the UK and let it out. Then the OP always has a stake in the UK and can return easily to a permanent home here. She might have to wait a year to get into the property, if a new 1 year lease has just been granted. But the property will be there and available within the short term.

It sounds lovely. But personally I'd stay put. I was on holiday years ago down the cotswolds. My aunt recalled the time she met an elderly person. Said she had moved there from the North to be with her only daughter. 18 months later her daughter moved miles away due to her husbands job. The elderly lady didnt know a sole, she had left all her friends up north and was now alone.

As others have said, I would go for a "trial run" first - say keep a home here and rent it out, and then rent in Austria. Look into all the legal stuff (including how you would access their health care system and how much it would cost, especially as they're in their 70s). Personally, I certainly wouldn't sell up and move over there without a trial run - it may make a lovely holiday but not a place to live? As I get older, I want familiarity, so moving abroad now is my idea of hell. BUT other people are different, I know. Do let us know what she decides to do.

When my DH’s best friend died in 2000 - his widow had never been abroad or even on a plane. Within 6 months, she sold up and went to live with her daughter (her only living relation) in Melbourne, Australia. Now I’m her 90s, she’s still ‘living the life’ there.
We think she’s amazing.

In her 90s - and I thought I’d read it through.

The language issue that strikes me is that there would seem to be an expectation that the locals speak English, rather than the potential emigrant gets cracking with learning to speak the language of the country in question.

Azalea99

Why are so many of your responses so judgemental? The OP isn’t asking for advice or suggesting that she would give advice, she is merely asking what you think of the situation.

... I thought the same. The negativity towards the OP surprises me.
Unless I'm missing something, she's simply asking for people's opinions - which can be very useful when making big decisions, especially if it elicits a response from someone who has maybe done, that been there, so to speak.
Strangers can often be objective about certain issues and point out things one may not have considered.
This "it's none of my business" attitude I find very strange. And unhelpful.

No idea if my post is considered judgemental and negative. I'd consider it practical, which is what we were being asked. I've had to consider issues relating to bringing older family members overseas and I think we (my family) might have missed the boat for practical reasons. I haven't found it easy at that age, strictly for practical issues.

I agree with Cafe au lait, i am the most positive person around BUT if life has taught me 1 thing its 'tomorrow is not our own'. I would be swinging more towards the fact of your friends age which brings me swiftly to the matter of care which is coupled with fears of being a burden.

Onviously no one knows what the next minute will bring, but to me it seems a gamble with age being stacked against them ....

Whoaa reading that back its proper doom and gloom, sorry...

ALANaV

Think she should go for it ! Austria is a lovely country and probably has a better health service now the UK is out of the EU ....I lived in Spain then France for many years ...loved them both BUT with Brexit living in Europe was difficult .....Austria not being in the EU would be easier to live in ....I am sure her son has checked the health insurance aspect, pension aspect , housing and everything else she would need to know if she lived there permanently. Perhaps if money allows a small flat kept in the UK or go live there for six months before deciding ! I love the snow and have been to Austria many times but too cold for me permanently (although they have sufficient heating and triple glazing !) sure the air is purer and life is longer .............good luck !

Austria has been in the EU for over 20 years so I imagine any post brexit difficulties living in Spain or France would be the same in Austria.

Dickens and others here who had said similar to you - I agree that posters are being especially snappy and negative here today.

Plenty of people ask gransnetters for their input to situations and don't get these kinds of responses.

Newatthis hasn’t come back and is probably no further forward as it’s such a personal decision for anyone to make
everyone is so different and will have different levels of comfort on a subject like this
It’s like on fb someone will ask what’s the best takeaway and there are about 30 answers all giving a different person or business and I always think the one asking the question is actually no further forward
The thing about the original post that concerned me is that the friend and husband had already moved to Spain and although liked it were not very settled and looking to move again !! Sometimes you can chase happiness when it’s under your nose