table manners

They will only get dessert if...

If you have a special dessert that they really like, and it is reward for good behaviour at the table, then they will pay more attention.

Your grandchildren are old enough to sit nicely now; it's different when they are toddlers. Children can be wiggly, but should not be disruptive to others having dinner. I wouldn't worry about how they hold their cutlery though, it can be suggested but not worth tears. It will come to them eventually.

Certainly they should not ignore you as their grandma but if their parents are present, it is their place to tell them off or whatever. Of course you will always teach by example - our three (who were expected to behave at the table at home) nevertheless used to come home after visits to granny and grandpa with exquisite table manners - all “please may I have the butter” and “please could you pas me the ketchup” - it lasted a couple days!

oopsadaisy1, I'm not talking about wriggling around but sliding off under the table and putting feet on the table. The older one knows how to use the cutlery she just chooses not to and it is stressful for the rest of the family. I might be old fashioned but I think manners are important and should be taught. I think if I ask nicely they should take notice.

Table manners (like all manners) have to begin at age 1 and be consistently used by all the family. So many children nowadays hardly ever sit at a table with their parents to eat a meal it is not surprising that they don't know what to do with cutlery.

However, it is the parental responsibility - as grandparents you can only eat correctly yourself and hope they will notice and copy!

I remember my little 3 year old being told off by my prim and proper sis-in-law for asking to leave the table to go to the loo. I took him regardless…..

I remember my poor brother being told off at the table he was left handed! I showed my children how to use cutlery if they got it wrong I left them to it. They got it right in their own way in their own time I never felt the need to correct them.

Sit up straight and use the cutlery properly !

Goodness, they will learn to hold the cutlery properly as they get older. Why would you send children away from the table for not sitting properly?

Unless they are wriggling around and throwing the forks I would be pleased that they are at the table and eating a good meal with the family.

Ignoring you isn’t acceptable. It’s very rude. It’s important for children to know how to behave in social settings and that includes having proper table manners. I can only suggest that if they don’t do as you (very reasonably) ask them to, some treats or iPad/phone/tv time are withheld. Not having good manners, at the table and elsewhere in life, will do them no favours.

When our children were little I taught them how to hold their cutlery, and proper table manners, asking to leave the table etc. My DD has taught her children in the same manner. I know times have changed from when I was a child, but children still need to know how to behave properly. How do they cope when eating at a restaurant?
Until she retired, my sister worked in a primary school canteen. She despaired of the number of children starting school who didn't know how to hold a knife and fork, and cut up their food.

Different time and different generation Catlover 123. Many people these days have TV dinners so the children may not be used to sitting at the table. Give them time but don't give them different messages to those from their Parents as it will only confuse them.

Why would you send them away from the table? What would that teach them? Just model the desired behaviour and give gentle reminders. They are still learning, it’s a work in progress.

I don't think that you need to intervene. They'll develop table manners if/when it suits them, perhaps to impress others?