Getting well known sayings mixed up or wrong...

One of my aunties used to say things went off like a damp squid

I overheard on the bus, "It just shows to go you." I never knew if it was deliberate or not.

Not so much a saying. but my brother and I were talking recently about the withdrawal from Afghanistan. I was trying to say that perhaps the withdrawal should have happened after Bin Laden had been killed. What did I say instead? Only that I thought the withdrawal should have happened after the head of IKEA had been found. Got my Isis and my Al Qaeda cross wired………..!

Katek

Not so much a saying. but my brother and I were talking recently about the withdrawal from Afghanistan. I was trying to say that perhaps the withdrawal should have happened after Bin Laden had been killed. What did I say instead? Only that I thought the withdrawal should have happened after the head of IKEA had been found. Got my Isis and my Al Qaeda cross wired………..!

????????

An Aunt of mine told us about her friend who was being made an escaped goat.

Plenty more fish on the beach!

I loved Hylda Baker's " overcome with emulsion", it's a family joke now.

I had a teaching colleague who, when thoroughly exasperated by a year 10 boy who was clearly winding her up, told him, ‘You needn’t think I’m going to beat myself around the bush about this.’

The look on his face was priceless. ?

Long John Saliva.

Stop casting nasturtiums.....

Former Taoiseach (prime minister) of Ireland had some great ones such as:

I don’t think it helps people to start throwing white elephants and red herrings at each other.

It's all smoke and daggers

We shouldn't upset the apple tart

Katek

Not so much a saying. but my brother and I were talking recently about the withdrawal from Afghanistan. I was trying to say that perhaps the withdrawal should have happened after Bin Laden had been killed. What did I say instead? Only that I thought the withdrawal should have happened after the head of IKEA had been found. Got my Isis and my Al Qaeda cross wired………..!

Haha. They found him hiding in a SKUBB, Katek, not to be confused with scud missiles.

Oh Jane, I can’t stop sniggering at ‘not upsetting the apple tart’.

Get the custard out ...

My aunt used to call the Peter Sellars character, Inspector Trousseau.

My DD only realised when she was about 14/15 that Statue of Liberty was not (as she thought) called the Statue of Liverpool ??

“A fool and his money are soon partying”. Not really uttered erroneously but funny anyway!

My dad’s wife is a devil for this.
The one that springs to mind is:

‘Barking at the wrong end of the stick’ ?

Not really a saying, but definitely getting things wrong.
My dear departed mil, just over twenty years ago.
We visited her at home and she was watching the lunchtime news, and getting very critical of things, declaring

‘That Peter Amandalendo and that bloody gnome!’

DH looked at me completely baffled.
I knew that she meant Mandelson and the Millenium Dome

My sister says 'I resemble that remark'.

I still love Mrs Slocombe's 'I am unanimous in that' and use it often.

I know it isn't a spoken thing but you see loads of posts online these days with people selling a 'Chester Draws' or Chest of draws'. Drives me mad.

Another of my favourites (also written) is things having 'reaper cushions'

There is a website (Reddit) with a page called boneappletea which is a mishearing of bon appetite (not sure if I have spelt that correctly). It has loads of written examples of things misheard and consequently misspelled.

“It will take time to restore chaos and order”
George W Bush

I know what you mean PinkCosmos. I see lots of 'foot stall' s for sale too and Otter man

My father always said masticated coconut instead of desiccated but with tongue in cheek trying to swallow he hated the stuff.
My mother always called Babygrows the garment babygrowers like a grow bag,sometimes they did have fertiliser in them!!!!

My daughter aged approximately 4 said “ I can’t be asked to do that”
You could have knocked be down with a feather yesterday when. On Countdown, Susi Dent said it was now actually becoming a thing !
It certainly gave us a good laugh those years ago because none of us used ( that other expression) so no idea where it came from.