Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall?

On another occasion I was walking along a crowded street and the sunlight was such that there was a distorted view of the crowd reflected in a building on the other side of the road.
I could make out there was someone much taller than the rest.
I looked around, "where is the tall person?"
Then I realised.

"Ah" I thought.

EP That is nowhere near as bad as catching sight of a rather overweight, wrinkled old woman looking worn and weary in a shop window and thinking "oh dear ......."
?

It’s difficult to know if someone is comfortable in their own skin or if they are prickly by nature just by looking at them.

I am 5’ and my OH is on the short side for a man. He brings me tea in bed every morning, does a fair share of the housework and irons whilst watching the Grand Prix! I’ve tolerated his short stature since 1968 so won’t go looking elsewhere just yet!

I dread anybody commenting about my weight!

I’ve never minded anybody mentioning my height. I’m petite (short ?) Maybe I just don’t get upset about such things.

I once did blurt out to a tall man that he was, indeed, tall.
It really wasn't meant in any bad way, but I felt wretched about it.
Especially as he said "Oh yes, how original. Never heard that one before."

I once danced with a lady of about your height. It was a progressive barn dance. We chatted pleasantries, neither of us referred to anything to do with our heights. That was good.

I’m 4ft 11in. I’ve always taken comments regarding my height with a pinch of salt. A usual reply would be ‘Yes I’m a pocket Venus, small but perfectly formed.’ ?

The thing is, I don't go round thinking "I'm tall". I'm just me.

I clearly know that I am tall but it is not usually something that I think about.

Then someone reminds me of it.

I don't go out much these days, but years ago I could go some places and nobody said anything, I would just be accepted and treated the same as other people, then sometimes I would go somewhere and someone would put the focus on me to informing me of my height or commenting on it to other people present.

I feel, possibly rightly, possibly not, I don't know, but I feel that it gives me an insight into racism.

I went on a short course and there were about thirty people present. It was only when the person running the course handed out registration sheets and went on about the questions and mentioned the skin colour question and looked around and noticed that one of the people present was not white.

So how does putting the focus on him help equality?

But if anybody objects they are likely to be deemed racist.

Some years ago I was a student on an evening class and there was a registration form passed around for getting the certificate from the Open College Network.

There were boxes (tick one or the other) for employed/unemployed. I was out of work at the time (I could not have gone to the course otherwise as I could not have fitted it in to my schedule), so as that was irrelevant to the course a line went through it.

The question about skin colour and the various checkboxes for that took more space on the form, so a rather graphic representation of several cycles of a sine wave were used there.

Forms were passed along to the lecturer. She glanced at them. I heard her say "oh!" and she looked at me and I sort of smiled and shrugged. Nothing was said and I got my certificate from the OPen College Network.

More recently I got a survey from the British Library. Seven questions about their services. One at the end about my ethnic origin. There was a link if anyone had a query about the survey. So I emailed and asked why the ethnic origin question. I got a reply that as they are funded by the government they are required to include the question.

I wonder what if anything is ever done with the replies to the ethnic origin questions that are very widely asked these days.

Are the questions just asked because they are required to be asked but that is that and the data goes nowhere?

I wonder for how long it will go on.

Were my ancestors in the manor house or did they tend the strips of the medieval fields?

I have no knowledge of that.

I suppose they could ask us all if we are armigerous.

I suppose it was over twenty years ago now, but once I was walking in a large open-paved area, so no clues as to height from buildings and I saw a man walking towards me, with a woman, the top of her head below his shoulders.

"Now he really is tall" I thought.

They walked past me. The top of his head level with my ears.

"Ah" I thought.

On another occasion I was walking along a crowded street and the sunlight was such that there was a distorted view of the crowd reflected in a building on the other side of the road.

I could make out there was someone much taller than the rest.

I looked around, "where is the tall person?"

Then I realised.

"Ah" I thought.

"Certainly ma'am"

How would you have taken this one, EP? ...

I was walking down the High Street when a woman behind said to me "Move out of the way, Fatty". As she pushed past I noticed she was much heftier than me!!

I wonder how M&S would react to a suggestion to change the order of the stacking on the display.

Would it be taken on-board and quickly changed and thus an improvement for ever, or would it be seen as so complicated and oh oh oh that it just could not be done!

I’m not aware of any of the tall folk in my family ever having people square up to them for a fight. Maybe it’s because they’re all as thin as rakes, too, so not seen as a challenge.

On shelf-stacking, our M&S displays shoes with the smallest sizes on the top shelf and the largest on the lowest shelf. I know shoe size doesn’t necessarily correlate with height but I think it’s unlikely a woman taking a size 3 will be 6ft tall or that a woman wanting a size 9 will be 5ft 1in

I’ve never worried about my son for that JaneJudge never crossed my mind and he’s never had any trouble at football, nightclubs or anywhere else.

JaneJudge

See I worry too that because my sons are all tall they will be singled out by violent men up for a fight. I don't know whether I'm irrational or not but it does really worry me, especially when they go to football matches

No it is not an irrational fear. Unless attitudes have changed over the years it is a real danger.

There are responses that get posted on the web, but such responses could lead to the original antagonist getting very violent.

Such as a suggested response to

"The bigger they are the harder they fall ha ha ha"

There are also responses to "I didn't know they stacked etc" but alas best not used in case the reply is not appreciated by the aggressor.

The notion that "well he was bigger than me" as an excuse might be tried as if a taller person is stronger and tougher or indeed of an aggressive nature.

One lady I was once in the company of went into fishwife mode and loudly and using the imperative mood of the verb suggested to the aggressor in a pithy two word sentence that he should empty his liquid waste product in some other location. He went and she went back into lady mode.

Tall people are not of the "we" as far as the media seem concerned. They are something to be referred to as if not part of "us".

Oh, I put four asterisks between 'stacked' and 'that' so as not to post a vulgar word, but it looks like they have not printed.

See I worry too that because my sons are all tall they will be singled out by violent men up for a fight. I don't know whether I'm irrational or not but it does really worry me, especially when they go to football matches

MayBeMaw

Silverbridge - exactly. No big deal!
There are infinitely worse things to worry/stress/agitate about in the world. Being tall or 5’2” is not one of them.
I have always got a helpful person to reach something down fir me if necessary - people like to be helpful!

I have not minded helping people as long as no comments about my height are made.

For example, "Could you possibly hand me a jar of pickled gherkins please as I cannot reach them." is fine.

The helping can be requested without a comment about my height being made.

Conversely, "You're very tall, could you possibly hand me a jar of pickled gherkins please as I cannot reach them." is making a comment about me and is rude.

Though rude in a much milder way than being approached in the street by someone and told,

"I didn't know they stacked that high"

or

"You're bigger than me but I could flatten you".

as used to happen from time to time when I was in my twenties.

I’ve not had any comments for a long time till a month ago. At a Pilates class a lady turned to me and said it. Followed by ?How tall are you?. Politely told her then I had to listen to a tale of her holiday where there were quite a few German families who she exclaimed were all giants. Even their children, who looked so odd being as tall as an adult but dressed like children.

How rude!

I'm reminded of a colleague who was asked where she was from by the women next to her at pilates - the reply was 'London born and bred, 60 years ago to parents from St Lucia.' The women then regaled her, in great detail, how on a recent trip to Jamaica she'd been pestered by young men on the beach selling ganja and sex!

Silverbridge - exactly. No big deal!
There are infinitely worse things to worry/stress/agitate about in the world. Being tall or 5’2” is not one of them.
I have always got a helpful person to reach something down fir me if necessary - people like to be helpful!

Indeed, EP and it's a last fraction-of-a-second resort if there's no-one around to ask for help. If there was someone passing by I'd ask them!

Life is full of physical risks. Avoid them all and we'd never get out of bed, leave our chairs, reach up or bend down to get something from a kitchen cupboard ... or step off the pavement.

I could just as easily trip on the duvet, fall over the coffee table, brain myself with a falling jam jar, rick my back or be knocked down by a passing car.

I am not expecting Tesco to reorder it's shelves because I happen to be petite. Which is the point of this thread, isn't is? Not making an issue about the fact that we are all different shapes and sizes.

Shops are constrained by their size but shoppers still expect a wide range and good stock of product lines from even the smallest retailer. That will inevitably lead to some awkward shelving arrangements.

My father was very tall and had a great response to the "is it cold up there" comment - he would reply "yes but at least it means I can't smell your farts".

My daughter's fiancé is 6ft 9. He gets it all the time but he's an affable chap and just smiles saying he knows!

Silverbridge

That's adding a lot of shelf-stacking staff overhead (no pun intended) to resolve something that isn't that much of a problem. Most people of average height can reach the top shelf. I'm 5'2" and on occasion have to ask an assistant or any random taller person nearby to reach for something. Or stand on the bottom shelf for a second or two for a bit of added lift. It's not a big deal.

It would be a big deal if the shelf broke under you or you lost your balance or slipped and you fell, perhaps injuring yourself and somebody who happened to be passing by, perhaps sending that person hurtling head first into the shelves at the other side of the aisle.

Would it then be "Who'd have thought it, ha ha ha!"

That is how life-changing situations happen.
.

Jaxjacky

My son is 6’3» and shoe size 13, it was a pain when he was younger.
The odd joke about my height, 5’11, washed over me. What did hurt was being called ‘big’, which I took as meaning fat, it was meant as tall. As a teenager I took that to heart and I wasn’t overweight.

Interestingly, the High and Mighty menswear shops used to have two ranges, Big and Tall, where Big meant average height but larger than average girth, and Tall meant tall with girth average given the height. They had labelling such that size information was clearly distinguishable between the two ranges.

Alas, some other shops tend to be more for big than tall and their labelling can be all over the place and confusing.

I once went into a M&S store to get something else and noticed some rather nice light blue corduroy jackets advertised as regular, small and tall.

So, knowing the length of jacket I need I asked a lady member of staff if she could please measure the length from the collar down the back of the jacket of the chest size I needed. It was exactly what I needed! I tried it on. Ah, the arm holes were not large enough, I could feel the jacket pressing it to my armpits, the sleeves were two inches too short. It seemed that the jacket was the same as a regular jacket just longer in the body. So I did not buy it. I can well imagine that the tall jackets did not sell. So maybe management decided there was no demand for tall jackets, but that would be a wrong conclusion in the circumstances.

Yet I was able to buy off-the-peg jackets from the High and Mighty shop that fitted well as larger arm holes and longer sleeves had been desidned-in.

They did once however have some summer trousers, some red, some blue, some yellow and I would have bought one of each, but alas that particular range had been made as if trousers for an average height man but just longer legs, so did not go up over my hips as the upper part had not been increased in size.