Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall?

Or we could end up as Brave New World Freemartins - women who have been deliberately made sterile by exposure to male hormones but still physically normal except for "^the slightest tendency to grow beards^" and constituting 70% of the female population. A wall of bearded women. There's an identification challenge.

What we need is a great big melting pot
Then we could churn out Identi-people by the score.

M0nica and Chewbacca. I posted before seeing your posts and have effectively repeated much of what you have both said so apologies for that but, yes, dangerously in Huxley country.

Chewbacca I think that was tried in China!
Mao era suits are still available online now.

It was hard to believe that China was the home of the most beautiful embroidered silks.

#Gransnetnumber3001

I am wanting a society where regardless of height, girth, gender, education level, skin colour, wealth, disability, hair colour, and so on, everyone is treated with respect and is not stereotyped.

Most of us do, but in this very long thread (in which you have over and over again drawn attention to your own height - the very thing you argue you don’t want attention drawn to), I’m struggling to think of one incident you have described which shows that you have been disrespected or stereotyped. I think you have to discount incidents of male aggression. I'm not saying they are unimportant, not at at all, but it is how male bravado works. It’s atavistic and animalistic.

A few pages back you were telling anecdotes about having not been successful in job applications suggesting that the decision makers (shorter men) had rejected you because you were taller and had been educated to a higher level. There's no evidence of lack of respect or stereotyping. There may just have been a more suitable candidate for the job. Where is your evidence? I could turn it around and argue that you thought you should have got the job because you were tall and had a degree. I'd argue you were not showing the decision maker respect in accepting that he knew which candidate was best for the job and who would suit the organisation. It's not always and only about skills and qualifications.

Three teachers sitting next to one another in a staff room all wearing plain grey suits and all reading a copy of the TES. One is tall and has dark skin. One is medium height and has a beard. One is shorter and has blonde hair. All teach different subjects. A new student comes into the room and tells a fourth teacher that he has been sent to speak to the geography teacher. How does teacher four point out which of the three men is the geography teacher? Which is he or she more likely to do? Use a quick and efficient descriptor (in which case which is acceptable) or tell the student it’s one of those three over there but as it would be disrespectful to mention any of their bodily attributes so he needs to go over to ask who's who?

There's an easy solution to all of these perceived slights and insults; everyone should be allocated a number that they should wear on a badge on their lapel for ease of identification. That way, no one needs to be referred to by their colour, height (or lack of it), size (no fattists), hair colour (to appease the ginger ists), any impediment (so no need to refer to spectacles, hearing aids or disability aids) speech, accents or distinguishing features. And we can all wear identical grey boiler suits so that no one can feel that they're made to feel "different". Welcome to the brave new world.

Right, so you are facing a class of older school children, all in identical uniforms. Uniform rules are very strict. If you do not know their names and new teachers and even the head teachers wll take a while to learn all the names. The teacher asks a question. Lots of hands shoot up.Why on earth the teacher cannot refer to the dark haired boy in the corner or the fair haired girl in the second row. they are all wearing the same uniform, what else can be used.

At various times I have been described as the dark haired lady, the lady with short hair, 'she always wears low heels' (was this a criticism of my footwear). All these are correct and neutral descriptors.

It is not what you say. It is the way that you say it.

Already worrying for GD who is only 12 but already taller than all her peers. Not pleasant for any child to stand out for any reason especially nowadays.

Mollygo

Love your “story with changed name” EP. Had he said the tall skinny man with hair coming out of his nostrils, the response would have been perfectly justified. As it was the other person was 3x as rude and you didn’t protest. I’m shocked!

Until reading your post it had never occurred to me that I should have protested. Something for me to think about.

I did not laugh.

My thought at the time, as best I remember was something like"That's where things can lead once someone starts something."

On balance maybe it was much more than three times, even though not said to a student.

Nobody else protested, but that does not justify me not having protested.

Maybe that really upset Mr Smith.

If I had not said anything in the first place then maybe that would not have been said to him.

Sort of butterfly effect.

Love your “story with changed name” EP. Had he said the tall skinny man with hair coming out of his nostrils, the response would have been perfectly justified. As it was the other person was 3x as rude and you didn’t protest. I’m shocked!

ElderlyPerson
I think you need to venture out into the real world where you will find that the majority of people practicing what you want.

They do this for lots of things. Ive been informed ive had my hair cut, dyed, all sorts of things. As if i needed informing ?

I'm 6 foot 1 inches tall . I have been this tall since I was a young teenager.
I hated all the rude comments, the " What's the weather like up there ?" Etc .
My young years were a misery and I hated myself.
I am 65 now and 3 of my 4 children are as tall or taller than me .
My tall daughters don't seem to receive any comments at all .
It seems being a tall lady is much more acceptable these days.
How I wish I knew that 50 years ago .

I will tell you a true story, with the name changed.

Over thirty years ago now, in the staff common room, with people sat around drinking tea and coffee and eating sandwiches a senior lecturer, rather older than me, told me, quite loudly, that he had advised a student to come to ask me something, and added that he had said "he's the very tall gentleman". So, calmly and politely I said that I thought that he should not make comments about my height to a student. The man proclaimed that it was perfectly reasonable to do that. A Research Assistant mush younger than me commented. "I agree with (Mr Smith) it is perfectly fine to describe a member of staff's appearance to a student." Oh dear, I thought. But then he added "If I was sending a student to see (Mr Smith) I would say "Go and see Mr Smith, he's a little fat man with a red face,"

Well, the roomful of people erupted in laughter at this, for quite a while. With three exceptions. Me, who kept a straight face, Mr Smith who gave a noticeably forced embarassed smile and a senior lecturer who had spontaneously laughed but alas was in the process of drinking a cup of tea at the time and he was now with some embarassment trying to mop up tea from the coffee table after it had come back out of his mouth.

Silverbridge

^So what do people think about that?^

You seem to be arguing, EP, for a society of people who all look alike and speak alike. It's Scogan in Huxley's Chrome Yellow talking about an impersonal generation and prefiguring `Brave New World^. Next you will have us all subject to instrumental conditioning which punishes us each time we say the slightest thing which may offend the supersensitive. Tall man, blonde woman. They are just identifiers and descriptors in a world where, thankfully, people are still of infinite variety.

No I am not.

I am wanting a society where regardless of height, girth, gender, education level, skin colour, wealth, disability, hair colour, and so on, everyone is treated with respect and is not stereotyped.

M0nica

*EP*, for me it would be a non-issue, the chairperson could equally have said the blonde man, the lady in the blue dress, the man in the pink shirt. Once I knew it was not me being chosen, I would just see them as the person asking/ answering a question/saying their piece. Any descriptions used to identify them would be quickly forgotten.

Snyway, when you are inviting people to speak from an audience and you do not know their names, how else do you it? You do not have the time to count seats and rows, the person 5 seats along in row 20. Would the person chosen know they were in row 20, seat number 5? So picking out a clearly recogniseable feature of the person, whether hair, or clothing seems the sensible way to go.

I think that the lady in the red suit is fine, because she has chosen to wear that. Reference to her body is not in my opinion.

M0nica

*EP*, for me it would be a non-issue, the chairperson could equally have said the blonde man, the lady in the blue dress, the man in the pink shirt. Once I knew it was not me being chosen, I would just see them as the person asking/ answering a question/saying their piece. Any descriptions used to identify them would be quickly forgotten.

Snyway, when you are inviting people to speak from an audience and you do not know their names, how else do you it? You do not have the time to count seats and rows, the person 5 seats along in row 20. Would the person chosen know they were in row 20, seat number 5? So picking out a clearly recogniseable feature of the person, whether hair, or clothing seems the sensible way to go.

I agree M0nica
How about “fat man with the big nose”, “old woman with the hearing aid”, “bald young man with the piercings “ - what on earth is wrong with “blonde lady (or more realistically “woman” )in the green jumper or whatever.
This is getting very trivial

So what do people think about that?

You seem to be arguing, EP, for a society of people who all look alike and speak alike. It's Scogan in Huxley's Chrome Yellow talking about an impersonal generation and prefiguring `Brave New World^. Next you will have us all subject to instrumental conditioning which punishes us each time we say the slightest thing which may offend the supersensitive. Tall man, blonde woman. They are just identifiers and descriptors in a world where, thankfully, people are still of infinite variety.

2 of my sons are now 6’ 6”. The 16 year old has recently had men square up to him looking for a fight because it’s presumed that being tall means you’re a hard man, a fighter or you think you’re something great. He’s just a nice, polite sensible young man. On a recent occasion he had to call the police because he had a man with a broken bottle in his hand ready to fight him. And it’s always shorter men doing this to him…

My youngest DS was always tall at 6' arv15 and constantly picked on, was attacked numerous times for absolno reason , probably by insecure little*** who thought they'd have a go at the tall lad? He's not in the slightest aggressive or assertive really which didn't help him. Me on the other hand, ? He once had me walk him to Kung Fu classes during petrol strike then when I asked him if he cared I may be scared walking home and back again for him on my own?! He answered "no cos you're not scared of anyone!" He's right, I'm not and I guess it's apparent as I was always left alone/ always overlooked if there's any bovva!

EP, for me it would be a non-issue, the chairperson could equally have said the blonde man, the lady in the blue dress, the man in the pink shirt. Once I knew it was not me being chosen, I would just see them as the person asking/ answering a question/saying their piece. Any descriptions used to identify them would be quickly forgotten.

Snyway, when you are inviting people to speak from an audience and you do not know their names, how else do you it? You do not have the time to count seats and rows, the person 5 seats along in row 20. Would the person chosen know they were in row 20, seat number 5? So picking out a clearly recogniseable feature of the person, whether hair, or clothing seems the sensible way to go.

Mollygo

Callistemon

we would do well to remember the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt who said “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”. ???

I think I’ll put that up at work. I hope I’ll remember it when anyone makes a whoopup comment about me.

Mollygo I can't take the credit, it was MayBeMaw who posted it first and it seems very wise to me

However, as EP has pointed out yet again, describing someone by their physical appearance may not be wise.

#brunetteoldwoman

My daughter was always tall for her age and people used to say /ask the stupidest things :

You're a big girl aren't you?

When are you going to stop growing?

Do you want to be a policewoman when you grow up?

It used to really annoy me and she got fed up with it.

As a private music teacher l have occasionally had very tall pupils and I always apologise when I have to mention the fact, which will be in the context of the correct posture at the instrument, which is vital. A few years ago, I taught an extremely tall young man, l believe he was 6’5”, the viola. Unlike violins and ‘cellos, full size violas come in a variety of sizes. Mine is small and his was enormous. The music stand, opened to full extent, had to then be placed on the chair to make it the right height. He told me how complete strangers felt that they could come up to him in the street and point out how tall he was. Fortunately, he was a very confident person and would look all around him and say: “Really, I never knew. Thank you for telling me.”
I think it is easier for men to be very tall than women. I taught another girl, who was probably 6’ tall by the age of 14 and she was bullied at school for it. She was also very bright and attractive too so there was obviously an element of jealousy. I remember telling her that she could easily be a model and that someone like me would never have a chance of being one. When she asked why, I replied that it was because I am too short, too fat and too old!

M0nica

We care rapidly reaching a stage where nobody can say anything to anyone because it is some kind of 'ist' or 'ism' or it will be personal, or they might misunderstand or misjudge.

Where does praise and encouragement come into all this?

If someone pays me a compliment by saying they like what I am wearing or my hair looks nice. My immediate reaction is a happy buzz, a happy smile and a 'thank you'. It would never occur to me to start worrying that my other clothes were horrible or yesterday my hair looked bad. I would just be happy that today my hair looked nice and/or someone liked my sweater.

I knitted myself a sweater last year, quite a plain one, with a yarn that was a mix of browns, greens and yellows. I have lost count of the number of people who commented what a lovely colour the sweater is. DH was seriously ill in hospital, and at a time of worry and woe, it quite cheered me up having people stop me a nd say what a lovely colour my sweater was.

I would be interested to know your take on tis please.

From time to time I used sometimes to watch (some of) each of the political party conferences on the television.

Typically the person chairing the meeting calls someone to speak and asks someone else to be ready to be the following speaker.

So I remember a Labour party one where the female chairperson called someone and then said "and then the blonde lady".

So sure enough, the next speaker came and because of that remark she was "the blonde lady" however much I tried not to think that and not to be conscious of "blonde hair with a woman beneath it" going to the podium and a blonde lady speaking. The person chairing the meeting had brought the lady's physical appearance into it and put the focus on that.

So what do people think about that?