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Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall?

(320 Posts)
ElderlyPerson Fri 10-Sept-21 11:50:22

Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall? The person already knows of this fact.

thetallsociety.com/when-comments-go-too-far/

Callistemon Sat 11-Sept-21 23:39:57

EP
I went through 6 foot at sixteen
My DS did at 15 and DGS is well on the way at 13.

Regarding the girl you mention. Was she you?
No, not me, I'm the shortest in the family apart from one young DGC.

Callistemon Sat 11-Sept-21 23:43:00

Chewbacca

^I really dislike the fact that I'm shrinking^

You're not shrinking Callistemon, just condensing all your good bits. smile

Thank you ?

Looking down, I'm wondering which bits they are! My lower arms aren't too bad ?

Blossoming Sat 11-Sept-21 23:43:29

I don’t mind people referring to my short stature. I’m the youngest of a big family and was always the youngest in my class at school and I was used to everyone being taller than me grin

FannyC 5ft 4ins is quite tall as far as I’m concerned ?

ElderlyPerson Sat 11-Sept-21 23:46:17

Chewbacca

--I still can't see how I, or anyone else, has caused any offence to the OP-- confused

But you have not caused offence to me.

I am surprised that somehow you got that impression.

Mamma66 Sun 12-Sept-21 03:34:24

My nephew is 6 foot 5, very athletic (semi professional sportsman) and very handsome. Being tall, strong, handsome and having the gift of the gab I think he thought he could talk himself out of any situation. He has on occasion been singled out by people deciding to have a pop at him because of his height, but usually it hasn’t been too much of an issue. About three years ago whilst living in the US, he was out with a couple of friends when a guy decided to have a go at my nephew’s friend. My nephew stepped in trying to diffuse the situation and was stabbed in the hand. It caused quite a lot of damage. Fortunately he recovered fully although he has rather an impressive scar. I think he is a bit more reticent these days about reacting to aggressive behaviour…

M0nica Sun 12-Sept-21 07:07:37

EP, my apologies, I forget that what is clearly a jokey or flippant comment when said, doesn't clearly convey that meaning when written. I was not seriously suggesting you pat people on the head, as you say it would be an act of aggression. It was a flippant remark.

Seriously, though, I have what DD describes as a gorgon stare I give people if they overstep the mark. I just look at them with an expressionless face for a few seconds and then turn my eyes away. I have always found this quite effective.

Kandinsky Sun 12-Sept-21 07:48:32

I always feel very sorry for women who are anything over 5.9. they do stand out & there’s nothing they can do about it. . Plus it’s a masculine trait ‘being tall’ & I’d hate that. You do just blend in if you’re average height ( unless your appearance is exceptional in other ways )
My son is 6.4 and hates it. He’s at least 5 inches taller than all his friends & hates ‘standing out’ - plus nothing fits him and he’s already suffering with back ache.
So yes, even men prefer to be average.

Parsley3 Sun 12-Sept-21 08:11:30

Kadinsky You feel sorry for tall women? A masculine trait? Blending in? What a strange world you live in. Being tall is not a pitying matter.

Jaxjacky Sun 12-Sept-21 08:58:12

As a tall lady I don’t agree Kadinsky, apart from when I was a child/early teen, with mild ribbing, I’ve had no problems. I don’t know where you get the notion that being tall is a masculine ‘trait’ either, I doubt if a catwalk of female models would agree.
That’s a shame for your son, mine is 6’3 and never expressed any problems, has loads of friends and dresses from mainstream shops.

ElderlyPerson Sun 12-Sept-21 09:42:49

Kandinsky

I always feel very sorry for women who are anything over 5.9. they do stand out & there’s nothing they can do about it. . Plus it’s a masculine trait ‘being tall’ & I’d hate that. You do just blend in if you’re average height ( unless your appearance is exceptional in other ways )
My son is 6.4 and hates it. He’s at least 5 inches taller than all his friends & hates ‘standing out’ - plus nothing fits him and he’s already suffering with back ache.
So yes, even men prefer to be average.

I am happy being tall.

Some places I have just been accepted, other places there has been a whoop-up about it. One lady once said to me "it's not your fault you are tall". She meant that kindly but it made me wonder what impression some people get in their minds because of my tallness.

I went for a job interview once and all was going well, then they called in someeone and asked him to show me round and he was about 5 feet tall and he kept looking up at me very warily and I thought that I would not get the job because of that. I didn't get the job, though no reason was stated, so I cannot be sure of why. Conversely I worked at one time alongside a man who was about 5 feet tall, older than me, senior to me though not my manager, and things were just normal, height never mentioned.

Though conversely, I went for a job once, all was going well and a man who would have been my manager showed me around and he was very ordinary and all was well. Then he said something like "Did you do " and some number. At the time I did not understand what he meant, and he said "City and Guilds". I replied that I had not done City and Guilds, I had done a degree. He looked shocked, the mood changed "We'd better get back" he said. He took me back to the room with the two interviewers. As he left, one of them said to him "Let me have your report.". I realised I would not get the job.
Perhaps the employer was known to be a nasty lot and would think nothing of pushing him out and so he protected his interests.

JdotJ Sun 12-Sept-21 10:40:59

'Now't so queer as folk', as the old saying goes.

Mauddib Sun 12-Sept-21 10:42:26

It goes both ways. Its just a comment people make and to me does not mean they are being rude or insulting. If all you have to worry about is someone saying your tall or your small then you really have nothing to worry about. This world people are always finding fault about something it's getting ridiculous.

tarakate Sun 12-Sept-21 10:46:45

So true! I'm unusually tall and get that comment all the time. I just look at the commentator with a feigned look of absolute surprise, which they might or might not notice to be sarcasm, and say 'gosh, am I? Ive never noticed!' (while refraining from saying 'goodness, you're stupid/boring/a stater of the obvious). I think either they have nothing else to say but feel the need to say something, or are trying in a dull way to break the proverbial ice. Either way they're not going to engage me for long.

Danma Sun 12-Sept-21 10:47:49

The one I like is when people say to me “oh, you’ve had your hair cut”
I try to look surprised and reply “what? When did that happen?”

Jillybird Sun 12-Sept-21 10:51:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

M0nica Sun 12-Sept-21 10:57:46

My 6 foot DDiL is married to my 5 foot 8 inch son. I do not think anyone has ever commented on this. We certainly haven't. She is a lovely lovely person, and not at all masculine, whatever that might mean.

The only time we joke about her height - and it is mutual, is when she visits, as we live in a medieval timber framed house with lots of beams and low ceilings, which is fine for us, we are not a tall family, at least not in our generation, but she does have to do a lot of ducking and avoiding in some places in the house.

We thought DGC might be tall, but DGD seems to be settling at 5 foot 7 inches, DGS is just on the cusp of the great growth spurt that boys have once they reach about 11, we think he may turn out tall and thin like his other grandfather, He is certainly very thin with a light frame, we wait to see what height he reaches.

Puglady Sun 12-Sept-21 10:58:42

I can relate to many of the other posters on here. At 5ft 11in since I was 13 I have had to put up with this for over 50 years. It has made me very self conscious and although there are many more tall girls around now I still feel awkward.

Callistemon Sun 12-Sept-21 10:59:26

Jillybird

Probably not really relevant, but my younger son is 6'4 without his shoes on.

He says he gets annoyed when he meets people taller than himself! He's so used to being the tallest in any gathering and looking down, he feels demeaned when he has to look up...
interesting...

So is mine and he has got friends who are taller.
And shorter.

It's all in our genes!

Thomas67 Sun 12-Sept-21 11:00:26

It’s rude to comment unless it’s a complement. People like to ask my son how tall he actually is or put their smaller feet beside his. He had an awful time at school mainly from the teachers making comments they thought were funny.. People also assume he must be strong and want him to lift things, They think he is rude if he refuses and don’t believe he has a heart problem just because it’s not obvious.

MissAdventure Sun 12-Sept-21 11:00:43

6ft 6 my oldest grandson, and the little one is 5ft 11 now (the one with the ever growing feet!)

Nannashirlz Sun 12-Sept-21 11:01:14

Yes that’s ppl for you always trying to point out to us what we already know. Guess it’s what we call has human nature. Think we should all wear a T-shirt saying yes I know I’ve lovely hair yes I know I’m short etc but ppl would still say it.

Jaibee12 Sun 12-Sept-21 11:03:06

I will probably think it to myself but wouldn’t say it out loud. I would think that the person is probably fed up or hearing it.

Mallin Sun 12-Sept-21 11:08:32

My friend was tallish. I’m on the short side. At dances we both knew which of the males walking towards us as we sat near the dance floor, would end up dancing with which one of us!

inishowen Sun 12-Sept-21 11:16:13

A funny comment my four year old grandson made this week. He's a bit on the short side but I said he'd got taller since starting school. I asked "who is the tallest in your class"? "The teacher" he replied. Well ask a silly question!

MissAdventure Sun 12-Sept-21 11:17:39

grin
Brilliant!