Why do some people inform an adult person who is tall of the fact that he or she is tall?

I'm sorry ElderlyPerson, I don't know what I've said to upset you but whatever it was that's caused you any offence, I apologise. I'll leave the thread. My apologies.

A woman of average height can blend in or stand out depending on what she chooses to wear
These were your exact words EP that was quite explicit.
I disagreed that a woman can blend in any more or less easily than a man and I merely tried to show this by “changing” your post to a masculine version .
I don’t think you can generalise in this way.

Jaxjacky

How tall are you ElderlyPerson if you don’t mind me asking? It may help give some perspective to this chat. As I’ve said, I’m 5’11, which is quite tall, at school, particularly as female, it was quite noticeable, not so much now and I like being tall.

I am happy being tall and I like being tall. I just don't like being told about it or being made the focus because of comments about the fact. I don't like being stereotyped as aggressive because of being tall, as I am not aggressive.

MayBeMaw

It is sexist because you are saying that only women can make themselves look “less average” whatever that may mean.
Men can just as easily look individual by their clothes, style, hair (both on the head and facial) tattoos, jewellery, accessories - in exactly the same way.
It is out of date because such sexist attitudes are not usually found these days among men or women of all ages.

No I did not.

I was replying to Chewbacca. Alas I did not use the quote facility and by the time my post appeared there were other posts between the two posts.

I was not saying only about women. I was remembering being at that course and there being a wall of women who all looked much the same, so the lecturer would only perhaps notice them as individually distinct each from the others as the course progressed. I think there may have been two or three men. But the thing is even if there had been more men I cannot be not immediately noticeable due to my height. Great if I am just accepted as I was there.

I really dislike the fact that I'm shrinking

You're not shrinking Callistemon, just condensing all your good bits.

M0nica

I have just reread the OP and realised it talks about people informing someone they are tall. DH certainly didn't inform the person. He just exclaimed when taken aback by someone's height.

A pronoun was used.

M0nica

Why not pat them on the head condescendingly?

Because I am not aggressive or sarcastic and I don't want to use my height in any way that would be referring to the difference in our heights.

I really dislike the fact that I'm shrinking.

And have never looked like any of the above.

Goodness me FannyC I'm trying to put those 3 together and come up with "you". Is this near the mark?

Only 2inches between us muse I can remember comments in my last year at juniors, so I would have been 11, mostly from boys.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202109/medium-907311-42b09ddc-d20f-47f0-8b4d-a9bab4fd9385.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202109/medium-352562-515ff851-9859-4028-b19b-d09c472e01f4.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202109/medium-905855-29a95d23-aa84-4351-b858-ad35411ed08f.jpeg

Maw I actually look like a mixture of this

I agree MOnica. I can do that now, as I did with the woman I mentioned in my earlier post. I found the word she used ‘giant’ very unpleasant particularly when she talked about tall children.

At the age of 14 I was 6’1”. In the early 1960s, as a teenager, I found looks, sniggers and comments very hard. I couldn’t smile and pretend it did happen. It really affected my confidence and I can remember reading about operations to shorten legs.

It wasn’t until I started work that my confidence grew. I’ve been ‘informed’ 100s of times now about my height, it washes over me ??.

FannyCornforth

MissAdventure

I really did only realise that I'm quite short.
I had always imagined 5' 4 to be very average.
perhaps that has changed over the years?

5’5’’ is still the average for women, I think
I’m 5’4’’, same as Madonna (I don’t know why I remember this)

I’m sure the resemblance doesn’t end there!

Is having me on, pedants.

Oh an inch difference isn't much.
I'm really not that short then.
I reckon my family are having me on!

MissAdventure

I really did only realise that I'm quite short.
I had always imagined 5' 4 to be very average.
perhaps that has changed over the years?

5’5’’ is still the average for women, I think
I’m 5’4’’, same as Madonna (I don’t know why I remember this)

I spent most of my working carer in the engineering industry where being the only woman on the block who wasn't a clerical worker was the norm.

I got quite used to having my presence being brought to the attention of everyone present. I was once the only woman among about 100 male delegates at a Conference - and a last minute substitute for a male delegate at that. The advantage was, there was no queue for the loo.

I soon got used to it and barely noticed the references to my presence. The advantages far outweighed the disadvantages.
If attention is drawn to your presence for any reason, smile pleasantly and leave it at that.

For example, each week eight men all of average height go along to a wordprocessing class. They tend to wear jeans and jumpers or perhaps a casual shirt and chinos. They sort of blend, nobody stands out. Some of them have some facial hair although not all

One week one of them arrives very clean shaven, in a three piece suit , as he is going to a job interview after the class without going home in the meantime

Can’t you see that Elderly Person ?

MayBeMaw

Has EP left the building?

EP? Left the building?
???

if you go somewhere, like, say a course on wordprocessing

That's a blast from the past!!

Yes, but I think you are a man, EP. Imagine being a girl aged 12 and already 6ft and still growing.

Has EP left the building?

To be fair Silverbridge the positioning of a wheelchair on a bus is a matter of safety (just as in a taxi )
If the wheelchair and its occupant face the back of the vehicle there is much less risk of being thrown forwards out of the wheelchair and injured in the event of a sudden or emergency stop, common enough in heavy city traffic - or worst case scenario, an accident.
But I totally sympathise with their feelings.

In the social situation you describe, EP, there isn't anything you can do apart from deflecting the conversation to a more interesting subject. For most people, it will be a throwaway comment and forgotten as soon as it's said.

Arguably more serious for people who dislike being the centre of attention is the way that buses are designed. A friend who uses a wheelchair hates the way the space for a wheelchair on a bus faces the other passengers. She is conscious of people looking at her as well as disliking the sensation of travelling backwards (as many people do on trains). Thoughts?

How tall are you ElderlyPerson if you don’t mind me asking? It may help give some perspective to this chat. As I’ve said, I’m 5’11, which is quite tall, at school, particularly as female, it was quite noticeable, not so much now and I like being tall.

It is sexist because you are saying that only women can make themselves look “less average” whatever that may mean.
Men can just as easily look individual by their clothes, style, hair (both on the head and facial) tattoos, jewellery, accessories - in exactly the same way.
It is out of date because such sexist attitudes are not usually found these days among men or women of all ages.